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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 18m

a man in a suit and tie is smiling with his eyes closed

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smiling with his eyes closed

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 37m

'This is unsufferable. I challenge you to a duel.'
'I accept, Sir. Your weapon of choice?'
'Deadly fish, Sir.'
'I choose #Piranha fish.'
'Then I shall choose, Scorpion fish.'
'Tomorrow at dawn?'
'Indeed, Sir.'
'Good day, Sir.'
'Good day.'
#vss365

Readers: What the fuck was that?

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 13h

Thank you, Maria 😁😁

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 13h

a man in a blue sweater is standing next to a bottle of beer .

ALT: a man in a blue sweater is standing next to a bottle of beer .

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 13h

You're most welcome, Mo 😁

a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a door with a sign on it that says meeting in progress

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a door with a sign on it that says meeting in progress

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

Katie was always losing things. She lost her #raincoat at the park whilst playing football. She lost her dinner money on the school bus.
But she never expected to lose her shadow. She'd had it yesterday. It had followed her all around the playground.
But now it was gone.
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

😂😂

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

'I'm here to see a band tonight? The #Verve?'
'Yeah. They're on now. Are you here to sign them?'
'If they fit the criteria. I've just signed Oasis and The Stone Roses so let's see. Bandy legged swagger. Nasally Manc vocals. Talented but also very annoying. They're in.'
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

a man in a wig says well lucky lucky us in a room

ALT: a man in a wig says well lucky lucky us in a room

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

It's such a classic show, and like you say, there were so many quotable lines you could say the next day at school or work 🤣

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

'Oh God no. The man's a complete #libertine, a cad and a bounder. He'll have half the female staff pregnant within a month, the other half within 2 months, and half the male staff will get a "little curious" too. God. Show him in.'
'Lord Flashheart, m' Lord.'
'Woof woof.'
#vss365

a man in a wig says i 've got a plan to a woman

ALT: a man in a wig says i 've got a plan to a woman

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 3d

Thank you, Maria.

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 3d

Thank you Beth 😁😁

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 3d

In AD 79, Jeffus Twattus began his journey to create the first ever travel guide.
It would be the greatest book the world had ever seen.
His first stop.
Pompei.
As Mount Vesuvius spewed volcanic #ash into the air, he muttered his final words.
"Oh, for fuckus saykius."
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

Thank you DeRicki

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

Thank you, Maria 😄😄

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

😂😂

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

There's an alien onboard
Don't know what to do
Ship's cat is missing
It's eating all the crew
In the shaft above
I hear its nasty shriek
Claws #clash on steel
Drool drips on my cheek
Terrified, I look up
It's up there on a beam
Out here in space
No one hears you scream
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 5d

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 6d

Charlie looked forlornly at the burnt down remains of his once prestigious music venue whilst his business #associate, Geoff, nervously chewed at his nails.
'Geoff, you know when I asked you to book 10,000 Maniacs to do last nights gig?'
'Yeah.'
'I meant the band.'
'Oh.'
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

'You're meant to be my agent. Where are all the starring roles in film and TV you promised?'
'A few more #adverts and producers will start to take notice .'
'What, like the last toilet product commercial I did? Flush Gordon. Saviour of the U ooh bend.'
'Love that advert.'
#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

😂😂
Classic GIF

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

😂😂😂

a woman in a blue tank top is drinking from a mug

ALT: a woman in a blue tank top is drinking from a mug

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 8d

Jo was about to have one of those days.
Gasping for breath, she swore as the bus she'd been chasing disappeared around the corner.
There was a twang as the #elastic in her knickers failed, and she felt them slide down her legs and onto her ankles.
And it was only 9 am.

#vss365

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Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 9d

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

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