Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 23m

😂😂

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 17h

'I'm here to see a band tonight? The #Verve?'
'Yeah. They're on now. Are you here to sign them?'
'If they fit the criteria. I've just signed Oasis and The Stone Roses so let's see. Bandy legged swagger. Nasally Manc vocals. Talented but also very annoying. They're in.'
#vss365

1 4 11

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

a man in a wig says well lucky lucky us in a room

ALT: a man in a wig says well lucky lucky us in a room

media.tenor.com

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

It's such a classic show, and like you say, there were so many quotable lines you could say the next day at school or work 🤣

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

'Oh God no. The man's a complete #libertine, a cad and a bounder. He'll have half the female staff pregnant within a month, the other half within 2 months, and half the male staff will get a "little curious" too. God. Show him in.'
'Lord Flashheart, m' Lord.'
'Woof woof.'
#vss365

a man in a wig says i 've got a plan to a woman

ALT: a man in a wig says i 've got a plan to a woman

media.tenor.com

2 4 19

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 1d

Thank you, Maria.

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

media.tenor.com

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you Beth 😁😁

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

In AD 79, Jeffus Twattus began his journey to create the first ever travel guide.
It would be the greatest book the world had ever seen.
His first stop.
Pompei.
As Mount Vesuvius spewed volcanic #ash into the air, he muttered his final words.
"Oh, for fuckus saykius."
#vss365

3 3 16

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you DeRicki

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

media.tenor.com

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you, Maria 😄😄

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 2d

😂😂

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 3d

There's an alien onboard
Don't know what to do
Ship's cat is missing
It's eating all the crew
In the shaft above
I hear its nasty shriek
Claws #clash on steel
Drool drips on my cheek
Terrified, I look up
It's up there on a beam
Out here in space
No one hears you scream
#vss365

3 4 18

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

media.tenor.com

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 4d

Charlie looked forlornly at the burnt down remains of his once prestigious music venue whilst his business #associate, Geoff, nervously chewed at his nails.
'Geoff, you know when I asked you to book 10,000 Maniacs to do last nights gig?'
'Yeah.'
'I meant the band.'
'Oh.'
#vss365

1 3 11

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 5d

'You're meant to be my agent. Where are all the starring roles in film and TV you promised?'
'A few more #adverts and producers will start to take notice .'
'What, like the last toilet product commercial I did? Flush Gordon. Saviour of the U ooh bend.'
'Love that advert.'
#vss365

2 7

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 6d

😂😂
Classic GIF

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 6d

😂😂😂

a woman in a blue tank top is drinking from a mug

ALT: a woman in a blue tank top is drinking from a mug

media.tenor.com

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 6d

Jo was about to have one of those days.
Gasping for breath, she swore as the bus she'd been chasing disappeared around the corner.
There was a twang as the #elastic in her knickers failed, and she felt them slide down her legs and onto her ankles.
And it was only 9 am.

#vss365

2 1 12

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

ALT: a little girl wearing a leopard print shirt is making a face

media.tenor.com

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

Thank you, TDT 😄

1

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 7d

Prince Cuthbert gladly renounced his claim to the throne to his cousin, Evil Vlad Killerby.
He thought it best given that his older brother had mistakenly been beaten to a #pulp in his bed prior to accidentally cutting his own head off and then falling out of a window.
#vss365

2 14

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 8d

It's Tuesday, 2125. Here's the news. Liam and Noel Gallagher from #Oasis have been revived from cryogenic sleep. However, after 9 consecutive hours of saying "I'm mad for it," they were refrozen, with a warning to future generations not to unfreeze them ever again.
#vss365

2 1 17

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · 14d

'Whose the defender with #sonorous voice. The opposition can't get past him. Amazing. Who is he? We need to sign him for our team.'

'Umm, let's see. It's the number four, isn't it, boss. He's only got one name. Gandalf. He must be Brazilian.'

'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'

#vss365

1 5

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · Sep 1

'We must be united during the demo,' said Val, handing out placards. 'Jeff, the fantasy writer, made the chant sheets. Let's go. What do we want?'
'More pay!'
'When do we want it?'
'Some time in the distant #past when the Elf Wizard ruled Magorium??'
'Oh for fuck's sake.'
#vss365

2 24

Steve - Teller of Tall Tales 🇺🇦 @bofferson.bsky.social · Aug 15

Pippin the #Pixie clung onto the falcon as it skimmed through the air in formation with two other falcons and their riders.

'This is Red Leader, preparing to make our attack run on the Death Nest,' he said.

'Herons on your six,' yelled Red Two. 'It's Darth Wader!'

#vss365

2 18