Author | Lightnews

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 20h

just making sure the president got his daily truckload of diarrhea funneled down his throat today

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 21h

"slob mode activate"
me going to the store in sweatpants, big tie dye t-shirt, & sandals

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 1d

i love pulling my phone out of my pocket before going into the bathroom & seeing a fucking FACE BC I ANSWERED A CALL I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GETTING WTF

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 1d

do u think the new white house ballroom floor will be like a diarrhea waterbed but maybe have like a straw in the corner so the president can have a lil sip now & then when he's sad about how much we all hate him

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 1d

i can't wait to tell my psychiatrist that i finally started waking up in the morning, staying awake all day, and sleeping through the night
but haven't started exercising yet lmao

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 1d

i feel like as a country we shoulda been able to vote on the destruction of the white house but i guess that was also just the 2024 election and y'all fucked up big time

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

if the jaw doctor tells me to lose weight
i swear to god
i'm putting rocks in my pockets and walking into the puget sound
the end

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

cooking up dinner for the president
(diarrhea)

Reposted by carpark slop

Krassensteins @krassenstein.bsky.social · 2d

130 3.4K 12K

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

diarrhea check:
did the president eat enough diarrhea today?
handstanding over the toilet like a diarrhea kegstand

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

imagine forming your opinions of games off a streamer who says every game is dogshit 🙄

Reposted by carpark slop

ShawnAAAH! @mitsubishe.bsky.social · 2d

a human size one of those heated rocks for lizards would fix me

4 6 57

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

i'm so tired of having a uterus and a vagina and a butthole just cut me in half already

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

"who wrote 'the moon rules number one' on my car with a key"

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

OH
i remember what i was gonna say
i bet a man invented pads with wings bc they're the fucking worst

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

did the president eat enough diarrhea today?
maybe he should hook himself up to one of those fois gras feeding tube machines
but with diarrhea

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

you don't realize how much you use a body part until it's in constant pain

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

my cuticles aren't gonna survive to the end of the year

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 2d

i came here to say something and i forgot

):<

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

being flattened by a steam roller and baked in a pizza oven might fix me

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

also i guess we're not gonna find out what happens when i stop taking wellbutrin for more than 2 days bc walgreens decided to fill the rx

but if nothing happened in the past 2 days is it even working i have no idea

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

could really go for a thanksgiving sandwich

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

i don't like fruit in my cottage cheese
so i guess i'll just keep putting fruit in my cottage cheese

carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

nobody gonna say anything about the american flag on the ground while those 3 cops are unnecessarily restraining the lady in the penis costume?
like one of them coulda picked it up
stupid fucking useless cops

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carpark slop @carparkslop.bsky.social · 3d

brb sending all my taco bell diarrhea to the king for his nightly feeding

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