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Clare Blackwood

@clareblackwood.bsky.social

25K followers 930 following 3.6K posts

Actor/comedian/writer. Words in The Beaverton, CBC Comedy, McSweeney’s, etc. Pierre Poilievre's personal assistant Mandy. she/her [email protected] https://buymeacoffee.com/clareblackwood

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · Mar 8

Listening to radio ads right now is like "Canadians are strong. Canadians are tough. Canadians never back down. Canadians deserve the best. That's why at Bob's Lube Garage, we know your tire lube should smell like poutine and Lake Erie fish,"

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 12h

went skating two days ago and so tonight I'll be watching the first blue jays game lying on the couch with a heating pad because my back has been spasming all day 😎 my body is a temple that crumbles at the hint of wind

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 1d

He should have gone at LEAST one more inning. So should Kirby, tbh.

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 1d

As much as I truly want a Jays-Brewers World Series, you've got a deal.

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

Maybe just five or ten

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

I don't wanna get cocky and jinx it but I'm definitely not mad about this sitch

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

thank god that ended, I was just about to head out to the mound and I don't know how to throw a slider at ALL

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

I think if it gets to that point they should just let us have it

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

Me, a Blue Jays fan, watching every single Mariners and Tigers pitcher burn themselves out going into the 2000th inning of this game

a man with a beard and mustache is smiling and looking at the camera .

ALT: a man with a beard and mustache is smiling and looking at the camera .

media.tenor.com

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

But thanks for the heads up 😭❤️

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

They are long gone now. I'm so sad. Game 2 was the one I was trying to get to.

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

Awwww I love it

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

spitting cold hard truth

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

Apparently a lot of people's codes didn't work. It's so frustrating. I hope you manage to snag a few.

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 2d

I've been signed up for this actually!! And they just texted, I went in immediately, and then the code they provided didn't work. I'm so sad.

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

we're doing the studies to make the proof

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 3d

RFK Jr on Tylenol and autism: "It is not proof. We're doing the studies to make the proof."

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

Yo don't I know it 😬

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

Ooooh dramatic, I love it

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

If I hadn't vowed to not go into the US until the fascist is out, I genuinely would rent a damn car

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

Me too! I hope they're going to do general admission tickets this time around as well.

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

Would have to have a first mortgage for that 😂

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

SURELY

Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

Tickets to the Blue Jays ALCS games are now starting at around $700 resale, so I guess I'll be tunnelling my way in via right field like some sort of baseball-loving mole

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 3d

And like, we don't even boo them! We tried it once, it barely caught on, and we left it alone!

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 4d

Gausman thought for a second and then said fuck it we ball out, and that's why he's my dude

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Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood.bsky.social · 4d

I wanna be hired as a commentator, I would be so great and no network would air me

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