Clue Heywood
@clueheywood.bsky.social
9.4K followers 210 following 1.8K posts
Three-time winner of Phoenix Magazine's Readers Choice Award for "Best Twitter," but now saving my better stuff for Bluesky, because you folks are so smart. And, did I mention, handsome! Arizona, USA
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clueheywood.bsky.social
Your child has been reincarnated and knows the prow is the best spot to detect kraut U Boats
clueheywood.bsky.social
Ok I will admit it, sometimes the Dirty Drummer gives me a free Coors Light
clueheywood.bsky.social
Nana had to choose between her medicine (Coors Light) and writing good checks, times are tough all over
clueheywood.bsky.social
There goes that personal check for ten dollars on your birthday, Liakos.
clueheywood.bsky.social
I’m just telling you what Jesus would have wanted, ok? And that would be that the Dodgers lose and the team folds.
Reposted by Clue Heywood
clueheywood.bsky.social
I know Jesus taught us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to those who hate us (Matthew 5:44), but he said that way before the Los Angeles Dodgers existed
clueheywood.bsky.social
that happened to a lot of women during the Voodoo World Tour, tbh
clueheywood.bsky.social
"These cigarettes are good for you, actually"

yeah man they're good because it's a 12 minute break from work and not just 5
clueheywood.bsky.social
enough with the advanced stats, Ken!
clueheywood.bsky.social
Breaking: asshole organization with asshole fans somehow able to out-asshole itself
clueheywood.bsky.social
I HAVE a NAME. I’m not just the butt plug guy. And that name is Gordon.

(I dunno I just figured it was Gordon, he’s Canadian)
clueheywood.bsky.social
(Drinks 20 drafts) “Guys…I think I’m having moderate to severe ulcerative colitis.”
clueheywood.bsky.social
Tell your doctor if you’ve googled fungal infection, he will appreciate you telling him what you found
clueheywood.bsky.social
Damn how do I even know that
clueheywood.bsky.social
Americans love to watch football while having moderate to severe ulcerative colitis
clueheywood.bsky.social
This is a wellness check after the last couple days
clueheywood.bsky.social
these are serious people, probably the most serious we have in government, they're not going to be won over by charisma and owning the libs
clueheywood.bsky.social
I think that whole dumbass assembly went over like a fart in church. At least I hope it did.
clueheywood.bsky.social
your local sheriff's deputies are not the problem, so yes, please do give em a hug and a sub