Author | Lightnews

JL

JL

@coupondripper.bsky.social

22 followers 45 following 490 posts

How fast can Dr Pepper make you go? they/it

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JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · 1d

The worried hillbilly asks "ya'll plumb?"

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · 28d

got arrested for calling a Greenland shark unc

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 6

ywn have a young john goodman come into your house to de popcorn your ceiling and paint the kitchen

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Is there enough of this to were i can pretend im playing super meatboy

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Heckling a stand up by doing my loudest caponian meh everytime he starts talking

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Northernlion is actually the hand model for jersey mike's (holds the sandwich)

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Willis Barnstone translating Sapphos

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

A coffee mug that is build like a toilet so u can give ur doighnut a coffee swirlie

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

My big ass mouth has an extra hump in its vowel space

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Teaching my friends parrot slurs they cant say

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

The dmv lets me cook in a teller booth if its free

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Eating baseball card for a strong pitching form and eating yugioh cards for flip effects

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

If you say the words root beer float thats sorta like having a root beer float if you think about it

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Posting until the two hemispheres of my.brain are touching again

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Hello? This isnt letting me answer this? Is this an offer or a question? Hello

JLP @jlp.systems · Oct 4

Would you behave strangely for 9 million USD

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Selling a delicious hard candy that makes u really sad called joybreakers

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

The next far cry is gonna be set in an office building like High Rise cuz of this

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 4

Deplatforming is when mario has to jump before the little rectangle falls down

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 3

Eating a rembrandt will make ur face like that btw

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Oct 3

Hate it when the trapeze artist wont let me off the tight rope until i finish my garlic knots

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Sep 30

Most people cant contend with the rich intertextual beauty that inevitably comes with a supposedly 'normie' 50 year old woman massaging her tmj while saying something rude and pointless like 'wouldnt you like to know?' to a stranger fumbling small talk attempting to get an ID

JLP @jlp.systems · Sep 29

The funniest or smartest or coolest person alive might be a DMV clerk for all you know

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Sep 30

This is what small mammals say when they're disappointed at the amount of grubworms beneath a strone they overturn

cmrn knzlmn @ckunzelman.bsky.social · Sep 30

i cannot believe i got eggbugged by unfair flips

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Sep 30

Could you imagine how funny it would be to travel back in time install these in minor lord's castle and help him use his gamer lit throne to raise an army to expand his fiefdom

Programmable LED lightstrip coiled with a white reflective background

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Sep 22

Was worried the ibuprofen in my medicine cabinet makes me look republican so I hid them in a metamucil bottle

JL @coupondripper.bsky.social · Aug 2

Taking extra adderall so my tapeworms can finish their homework