CritFailMemes
@critfailmemes.bsky.social
300 followers 84 following 250 posts
Dnd memes occasionally, based memes always https://www.instagram.com/critfailmemes
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Reposted by CritFailMemes
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Mainstream media is too cowardly to run this headline:
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Is Trump cancelling Christmas?
TRUMP TO IMPOSE 100% tariff ON CHINA STARTING NOV 1 Reads headline
Reposted by CritFailMemes
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Someone said RFK Jr looks like Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers

and then I said that again, but louder
It’s Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Someone said RFK Jr looks like Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers

and then I said that again, but louder
It’s Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers
Reposted by CritFailMemes
junlper.beer
we need to abolish this shit
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Mainstream media is too cowardly to run this headline:
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Is Trump cancelling Christmas?
TRUMP TO IMPOSE 100% tariff ON CHINA STARTING NOV 1 Reads headline
Reposted by CritFailMemes
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Someone wise once said, you will never convince people that the cities are safe by telling them cities are safe.

You convince them by telling them, you’re absolutely right. The city is so dangerous. I’m just tough enough to handle it, and you’re not.
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Is Trump cancelling Christmas?
TRUMP TO IMPOSE 100% tariff ON CHINA STARTING NOV 1 Reads headline
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Someone wise once said, you will never convince people that the cities are safe by telling them cities are safe.

You convince them by telling them, you’re absolutely right. The city is so dangerous. I’m just tough enough to handle it, and you’re not.
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Well he wouldn’t use Spanish dollars, would he
critfailmemes.bsky.social
This is the context of an unknown vehicle 🤦‍♀️
critfailmemes.bsky.social
That’s not the same thing at all lol
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Yes, that’s why I typed that. You know someone under thirty who writes “vehicle” outside of the context of an unknown vehicle

For fun, I searched my texts and the only people talking about “my vehicle” is a car dealership, Les Schwab, the DMV, insurance company, and spam messages.
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Your 23 year old brother texts like a normal person

And didn’t say “my vehicle” at all in these conversations
critfailmemes.bsky.social
critfailmemes.bsky.social
"I have left no evidence save for my grandfather's rifle, which I must retrieve for it is worth over two thousand American dollars and my old man will surely be cross with me if I should not return with it. However, I must take care, for there is a police vehicle yet lingering"
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Working overtime at the Evidence Factory and my boss is busting my hump but I have a little shortcut that’s gonna make my life so easy
critfailmemes.bsky.social
critfailmemes.bsky.social
"I have left no evidence save for my grandfather's rifle, which I must retrieve for it is worth over two thousand American dollars and my old man will surely be cross with me if I should not return with it. However, I must take care, for there is a police vehicle yet lingering"
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Working overtime at the Evidence Factory and my boss is busting my hump but I have a little shortcut that’s gonna make my life so easy
critfailmemes.bsky.social
"I have left no evidence save for my grandfather's rifle, which I must retrieve for it is worth over two thousand American dollars and my old man will surely be cross with me if I should not return with it. However, I must take care, for there is a police vehicle yet lingering"
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Working overtime at the Evidence Factory and my boss is busting my hump but I have a little shortcut that’s gonna make my life so easy
After reading the note, the roommate responded, *What?????????????? You're joking. right????* Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Robinson:
I am still ok my love, but am stuck in orem for a little while longer yet.
Shouldn't be long until I can come home, but I gotta grab my rifle still. To be honest I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age. I am sorry to involve you.
you weren't the one who did it right????
I am. I'm sorry
I thought they caught the person?
no, they grabbed some crazy old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to grab my rifle from my drop point shortly after, but most of that side of town got locked down. Its quiet, almost enough to get out, but theres one vehicle lingering.
Why?
Why did I do it?
Yeah
I had enough of his hatred. Some hate can't be negotiated out. If I am able to grab my rifle unseen. I will have left no evidence. Going to attempt to retrieve it again, hopefully they have moved on. I haven't seen anything about them finding it.
How long have you been planning this?
a bit over a week I believe. I can get close to it but there is a squad car parked right by it. I think they already swept that spot. but I don't wanna chance it
I'm wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle... I'm worried what my old man would do if I didn't bring back grandpas rifle... idek if it had a serial number, but it wouldn't trace to me.
I worry about prints I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. didn't have the ability or time to bring it with ... I might have to abandon it and hope they don't find prints. how the fuck will I explain losing it to my old man. ..
only thing I left was the rifle wrapped in a towel. ...
remember how I was engraving bullets? The fuckin messages are mostly a big meme, if I see "notices bulge uwu" on fox new I might have a stroke alright im gonna have to leave it
critfailmemes.bsky.social
“My vehicle”, I texted, textily, to my love (who I love)
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Your 24 year old partner texts “my vehicle”?
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Working overtime at the Evidence Factory and my boss is busting my hump but I have a little shortcut that’s gonna make my life so easy
After reading the note, the roommate responded, *What?????????????? You're joking. right????* Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Roommate:
Robinson:
Robinson:
I am still ok my love, but am stuck in orem for a little while longer yet.
Shouldn't be long until I can come home, but I gotta grab my rifle still. To be honest I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age. I am sorry to involve you.
you weren't the one who did it right????
I am. I'm sorry
I thought they caught the person?
no, they grabbed some crazy old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to grab my rifle from my drop point shortly after, but most of that side of town got locked down. Its quiet, almost enough to get out, but theres one vehicle lingering.
Why?
Why did I do it?
Yeah
I had enough of his hatred. Some hate can't be negotiated out. If I am able to grab my rifle unseen. I will have left no evidence. Going to attempt to retrieve it again, hopefully they have moved on. I haven't seen anything about them finding it.
How long have you been planning this?
a bit over a week I believe. I can get close to it but there is a squad car parked right by it. I think they already swept that spot. but I don't wanna chance it
I'm wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle... I'm worried what my old man would do if I didn't bring back grandpas rifle... idek if it had a serial number, but it wouldn't trace to me.
I worry about prints I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. didn't have the ability or time to bring it with ... I might have to abandon it and hope they don't find prints. how the fuck will I explain losing it to my old man. ..
only thing I left was the rifle wrapped in a towel. ...
remember how I was engraving bullets? The fuckin messages are mostly a big meme, if I see "notices bulge uwu" on fox new I might have a stroke alright im gonna have to leave it
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Of all the memes and goofs and jokes I’ve posted, none is more popular than a simple old Russian joke
It is an image of a social media post. It reads: “Old Russian joke.
Guy walks up to newspaper stand every day, looks at the newspapers but never buys.
Newspaper man says buddy, what are you looking for every day you never buy?
Guy says sadly, obituary.
Newspaper man says, then you must buy, obituaries in back of paper.
Guy says, not the one I am looking for.”
critfailmemes.bsky.social
Haven’t been posting on here much lately so I just came by to say, rest in piss