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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 3h

The jester tossed me a bagful of #words that smelled of hedonism. They oozed suggestion—party, pleasure—as if the letters were in heat.

I could feel the sexuality pressing through the cloth, but instead of #writing about desire—as most might desire—I'll write about this sexy bag of words.

#inkmine

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4h

For the afterglow, you see, was—briefly, perilously—in season, and the hunt was officially sanctioned for that small, trembling interval between what-could've and what-might've-been. I'd polished my hopes, loaded my sighs, aimed carefully into the amber hush—and ah, shit, I missed my shot.
#foxprose

Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4h

I was, I confess, seeking the afterglow—shy creature of dusk, half-idea, half-illusion—seen once nibbling at the horizon's hem. It startles easily; breath too hard and it vanishes, leaving only the faint scent of memory and something almost like hope moulting in the underbrush of tomorrow.
#foxprose

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4h

I was, I confess, seeking the afterglow—shy creature of dusk, half-idea, half-illusion—seen once nibbling at the horizon's hem. It startles easily; breath too hard and it vanishes, leaving only the faint scent of memory and something almost like hope moulting in the underbrush of tomorrow.
#foxprose

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 4h

It is a good post—and an even greater idea just waiting to be silk-screened onto a Fruit of the Loom cotton classic tee.

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 5h

The #doorway to the Domino Room was being repainted, WET PAINT notices fluttering like admonitions. Ossie, splendid in his velvet coat, brushed the rail all the same. Inspecting the streak of Brunswick Green, he sighed: "One must suffer for art—though I had hoped art might suffer first."

#vssdaily

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 5h

#whistpr #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem #Superman #comics

I learned to fly before I could crawl,
Leapt tall buildings—no effort at all.
A man of steel, with x-ray sight,
Exceptional hearing, and the gift of flight.

But let's be clear (I've done the math):
It's not true flight—it's a gravity hack.
I don't flap wings or burn jet fuel,
I bend spacetime and break physics rules.

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 6h

A damselfly alights upon the damsel's taffeta dress—
a #damselfly in elegant distress.
The damsel, by such trespass, feels nonetheless
a tenderness for her distressed winged guest.
Two fragile forms, one shared finesse:
the damsel and her damselfly in exquisite stress.

#emoetry #poem #prose #poetry

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 6h

Sometimes tater stories can turn out to be gems—and other times tater gems turn out to be tater tots. The secret is knowing the difference, accepting the difference, and realizing the difference makes no difference—and that is the difference that makes all the difference.

#verse #poem #taters

Madeleine Begun Kane @madkane.bsky.social · 1d

I love taters in tatters! :)

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 9h

There was a time I wrote with more #flourish— sentences curving like teacup handles, verbs shimmering in waistcoats of subordinate clauses. But the penny humour sheets care not for such ornamentation now, preferring their prose plain and pallid, like oatmeal served without treacle.

#blueskyrelay

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 9h

A #shrine was enshrined—
and faintly yet did it shine;
its glow blessed its gleam.

"A shrine of devotion devoutly devoted to being divine."

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 17h

#Fallen elm, at peace,
Faced the tempest, stood with faith,
its roots are now still.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 17h

"What's the difference between the Vacuumatron 9000 and the Vacuumatron 9000 Deluxe?"

"Ah! A discerning question, sir. The Deluxe model comes complete with the word Deluxe."

"So... that's it?"

"Certainly not, sir. The Vacuumatron 9000, our base model, does not include the word #Deluxe."

#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

A decade—perhaps even ten years—later, I was proved right. The Radioactive Wafer (1956) became my bestseller: half novel, half cautionary B-film in prose. The graham cracker? Frankly better with peanut butter and honey—perhaps a little chutney, peach if memory serves—and serves it does.

2/2 #vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Seated on the cold #hearthstone, Sylvester Graham informed me—rather primly—that the graham wafer was intended to curb lust through blandness, a sort of Puritan prophylactic by pastry. I remarked that such a thing would surely spell the end of civilization; he scoffed, naturally.

1/2 #vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

I didn’t expect to be in Mississippi giving a wedding toast. The Americans weren’t buying a word of it. Desperate, I channeled the old “Inkpot" days—Sydney, Mencken, Zelda. Then I said, "Y'all, no joke—them Walmart Great Value cotton candy ice cream bars taste like Franken Berry." They cheered.
#vss

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

The very act of admitting my speechlessness was technically a speech—thereby creating a #paradox, a minor rupture in #spacetime, and an entirely new universe populated exclusively by charming, intelligent, attractive people who find this #story #funny.

#writing #poem #FreeVerse #vss

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

When the President of the Institute for Temporal Self-Sabotage and Winery invited me to stand and speak, I said I was speechless—and that, apparently, was all it took. Causality, paradoxically folded in on itself, and half the committee disappeared somewhere between the pudding and the past.

#vss

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Seated before the #hearth at the Cheshire Cheese, I recall Aubrey sitting across from me, sketching exaggerated genitalia on sheets of foolscap filched from the landlord’s account book. I never saw the appeal in such decadence, but yes—it was a most accurate likeness of Queen Victoria.

#vssdaily

vssdaily @vssdaily.bsky.social · 1d

The #vssdaily #prompt for 10/14/25 is #hearth

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

When I seated myself in W.B. Yeats's favourite chair, he asked me to move.
I murmured something unrepeatable under my breath.
"I don't care for the #undertone of your voice, sir," he said. "Perhaps you'd like to take it outside."
Being a reasonable man, I complied.
"Not the chair, you fool."
#vss365

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Steam hisses—pot bursts
my taters are in #tatters—
mashed, by fate’s design.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Pheasant under glass—
pheasant through my car windshield—
damn’d, bloodied #pheasants.

#HaikuFeels #verse #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuSky #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #MicroPoetry #PoetryCommunity #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

Now gather 'round the hearth, and I'll sing you a song.
The Ballad of—damn! Where did I place my ballad-playing lute? I can't sing a thing without that lute. Not a #ballad, not a ditty, not even a jingle. This reminds me of The Tale of—shit! Where did I leave my storytelling cloak?

#blueskyrelay

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve been frequenting the local gym for months, yet I’m still #undertoned. Perhaps it’s time I tried the equipment.

#vss365 #joke #humour #weightlifting #hostesstwinkies

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

Wretched tangled vine,
you #creep through shade unnoticed—
blind leading blindweed.

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #writing #poem

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Dale Tudge? Humor! @daletudgehumor.bsky.social · 2d

To my esteemed and worthy friends, Huntley & Palmer,
whose biscuits once ennobled the tea table,
and whose enterprise sweetened an age now past.

Observe the wafer—
its #crunch, a moral lesson
in brittle virtue.

#HaikuFeels #DailyHaikuPrompt #Senryu #Haiku #HaikuChallenge #Poetry #writing #poem

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