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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 12h

That’s awesome. How have I never heard that before? Thanks for posting it.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra is timeless and any generation that doesn’t understand it deserves their fate.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I’m gonna “find” a lost Shakespeare play that I totally made up out of nonsense words. No one will ever know the difference. I’ll be rich!

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve watched. Even then I’m like WTF are they doing

Why would someone in tree tableau saying “Dost thy chains cling pleneth?” make someone run circles around a campfire cauldron and then drop to their knees and with anguish shout “Thine duty churn goblets unto thy fearsome flesh gathered hitherto!”

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Oh. That sounds nice.

That’s something I could never experience. But I can imagine.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I always try hard to be respectful. Not like my dipshit dad who tells the waitress at a mom and pop Mexican restaurant that he would like “more tore-till-uhs pour-fay-vor” and then laughs when he knows full well how to pronounce tortilla and por favor.

I’ll take endearing. That’s not bad.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

“I’ll pray for you.”

God isn’t real and you know it. You go to church hoping other people’s faith will reassure you.

David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

…Seriously. I can’t read it. I can’t sit through a play. I can’t watch a movie.

Dost thy great wheel bury my staff seven fathoms in the earth to breaketh thy neck running uphill ‘tis the dawn approaching yonder.

Seriously. STFU .

Did people even then understand that nonsense?

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Shakespeare is incomprehensible.

The ancient English he uses makes no sense to me in the modern world. I recognize most of the individual English words but the way whole sentences and paragraphs are arranged… What is he even talking about?

Rachel Feder @rachelfeder.bsky.social · 1d

Tell me your most unhinged literary opinion, as a little treat

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I need a native Spanish speaker’s opinion:

Does Spanish spoken with an English accent sound sexy like English spoken with a Spanish accent does?

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

…they landed on an asteroid or something and that’s where they found it.

And another guy thought he could play guitar well but he couldn’t. But the creature copied him and the creature could play well, which is how the rest of the crew knew which one was the creature.

David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Is that the show where in one episode the crew found this weird creature that could make you see it as whatever you wanted to see and one of the guys was making out with this hot girl but then they cut to reality and he was really making out with the creature that looked like a human sized insect?

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

We tolerated gravelly scream-singing like Nickelback so now they just serve up any crap because what are we gonna do about it

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Lost, thirsty, and hungry.

The people of the Bahamas treated these undocumented European immigrants with decency and gave them humanitarian aid.

Sable, Sapphic Wet Nightmare 🏳️‍⚧️ @ghostlysable.bsky.social · 1d

Inverting the "discovery of the New World" narrative makes its absurdity clear.

"Nobody knew about Europe until 1492 when a few boatloads of them showed up lost."

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I can’t figure out why I don’t like him.

And yet.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Right at high noon on his sundial.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Not sure who Taylor Swift is but why would a rapper name themselves after two competing trucking companies?

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Reposted by David Clarke

Gail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 1d

I bet Taylor Swift would be more popular if she wrote her own songs.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Chef Boyardee

Katelyn Boo-urns @katelynburns.com · 1d

name an italian more worthy of an american holiday than columbus

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Oh. It is true.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I have no idea if this is true but it is now true.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

One time I briefly dated a British guy who nicknamed his cock “Big Ben” and he wasn’t wrong but I was still disappointed by the lack of originality.

I bet they all do that.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

I bet it has the same amount of charisma as the real thing.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 1d

Imagine if it got Annabelled.

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David Clarke @davidclarke76.bsky.social · 2d

Under my plan, that’s throwing a $5 bill out the window.

Most people wouldn’t be able to do that a half a dozen times a day every day. We would see that behavior almost completely disappear.

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