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@dimlan.bsky.social

30 followers 41 following 350 posts

Exhausted from living in the 21st Century. Brain fried from all the TV watching. Have hot hot hot sport and political takes. Please don't implode this place and make me have to understand Mastodon

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dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 8m

He's the next Chris Pratt in that even people that aren't super into celebrity news will soon develop a vague feeling that they're meant to dislike him

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 16m

Like why is joining a college football team his best (only?) option?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 18m

Does it make sense when you actually watch it? The trailer raised so many questions that it broke my brain

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 2h

He tucked it into his shirt collar an' everything

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 3h

Sometimes they do act. When JPM saw clear signs of sex trafficking they sprang into action... approving all transactions.

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 4h

If they never make a "Fast X II" it means all of Vin Diesel's friends are dead ☹️

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 4h

Buying stocks because Trump posted "everything will be fine"

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 14h

Cracker Barrel was right there. We know they don't have temperament for a fight

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 15h

Tired: Witches

Wired: Humpy

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 15h

Trump wouldn't be illegally making $10 million. $10 million means nothing to a billionaire making $6 billion from crypto...

Which Trump isn't doing. Where are you picking up this nonsense!?

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 16h

I'm seeing double here - four Buster Keatons!

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 16h

On the bright side, they get to live in Canada

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 17h

Young Jerry Stiller was a ladykiller

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 17h

I asked Gemini if I can haz service stars too now

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 17h

You can't spell "Trey Yesavage" without "average." Which doesn't mean anything since this line is worse

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 17h

It's a hallucination

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 18h

[looking up how often Time comes out now to see the odds of the peace deal outlasting this cover]

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 19h

Farmers get the bailout but in return they have to stop complaining about farming in the dark

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 19h

My dad calls every streaming device a Roku because the first one we had installed was a Roku. This is my small way of socking it to the tech giants.

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 20h

Kid needing a last-minute 500-word book report and hoping one on TV Guide Magazine gets him a C-

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 22h

HBO Max/Apple marketing guy moving on to his third streaming service gig

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

I see this will be one of those news days where he never stops talking 😮‍💨

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

AppleTV+ is now AppleTV

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 23h

Biden changing millions of votes without leaving evidence. Soros paying millions of protesters without leaving any trace.

I would be creating online content like the "Now You See Me" gang and watching the voter registrations roll in for the most awesome, mystifying political party ever.

dimlan.bsky.social @dimlan.bsky.social · 1d

Biden didn't think to create "Peace 2024" on-stage branding

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