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drewtoothpaste

@drewtoothpaste.bsky.social

43K followers 630 following 5.1K posts

author of Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, @dasharez0ne.bsky.social etc. my podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity my shirts: dashare.zone / drewtoothpaste.com vocals for HELL ORBS: dendycrew.com

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · Nov 30

how we envisioned the dark future: you wear leather and buy brain stims from a small store in an alley. your wrist computer helps you hack

actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2h

in 1971 they could only dream of forcing horror upon horror into the mind of one victim at a time. modern social media correctly assessed that the answer to "do you want to see the worst 500 things we can find today" is almost always yes. but it's fine and this has had no consequences for anyone

the protagonist of A Clockwork Orange undergoing the ludovico technique

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3h

the good news is that chaos is where new ideas are born, new paradigms are constructed, and the building of our future begins. the bad news is the chaos

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 6h

you've probably already seen this, but OpenWorm looks similar and less computationally intense

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 6h

my kid got an email from a teacher last year that included the "Here's your re-written Message To Student:" at the top

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 7h

the future

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 17h

everyone is worrying too much about gta 6 and not enough about why no one ever made Hotline Miami 3

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 20h

✨Summarize This Message

I'll be happy to summarize this for you! Drew, it appears you have been irreversibly banned from a message board called Chicken Forums — what an achievement! This calls for a celebration, specifically for something called "kept saying let me see that cloaca

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Reposted by drewtoothpaste

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · Apr 25

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 1d

the human body is so poorly suited for existence that no ghost ever says "i miss my body"

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 1d

ever since getting an inversion table i've had the thought that i should hang upside down by it in the driveway and when someone comes home i can say "hello clarice" like hannibal lecter but i think it might only be funny to me

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2d

"did you see what happened Over There on The Other Site?" no did you see what happened in yonder tree

a robin among the last leaves in a small tree in october

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2d

movies should have regular looking people in them

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2d

beautiful setup!

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 2d

found these little guys hiding under a potted plant in the garden. i never put the plant into the ground because i knew i was gonna have to take it back inside once it got cold. but i forgot to tell the salamanders

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3d

a small jar of datil peppers and a large jar of unripe cayenne/hab/misc peppers, both fermenting in brine, for hot sauce 🌱

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3d

Taking walks can reduce your sense of impending doom.
Try to walk 24 hours a day if possible!

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3d

1 like of this post = I will put my hand inside car door 1 time. i will unscrew the decorative parts and put my hand in there 1 time. 3 likes = 3 times

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 3d

me and a guy down the road both stopped to avoid this deer. the french call this "pas de deux"

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 4d

great shot!!

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 4d

what could go wrong

then, assuming your purchase goes up in value infinitely over time, you'll be rich!

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 4d

odysseus couldn't have done all that stuff if he had a job

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 4d

that's a shame. Energy Apple is a great name

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 4d

if i had to see this today, so do you

cows grazing in a field next to the green mountains

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Reposted by drewtoothpaste

drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · Oct 1

there are like 5 crises that are all accelerating at once in America now, but a fun game to play is to pick one and say the other four are just the media's way of distracting us from the one you picked

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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 5d

whoops!

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