drewtoothpaste
@drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
author of Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, @dasharez0ne.bsky.social etc.
my podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
my shirts: dashare.zone / drewtoothpaste.com
vocals for HELL ORBS: dendycrew.com
my podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity
my shirts: dashare.zone / drewtoothpaste.com
vocals for HELL ORBS: dendycrew.com
Pinned
how we envisioned the dark future: you wear leather and buy brain stims from a small store in an alley. your wrist computer helps you hack
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
New house is powered almost entirely by an ancient obelisk out the back I’m saving so much money
January 14, 2026 at 2:37 AM
New house is powered almost entirely by an ancient obelisk out the back I’m saving so much money
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
Due to the incalculable number of our past lives, every sentient being has been your homie at one point or another
January 13, 2026 at 10:46 PM
Due to the incalculable number of our past lives, every sentient being has been your homie at one point or another
SCAM WARNING: this one almost got me, be careful! apparently most businesses and news outlets are owned by something called a "ruling class" and they're using our money to consolidate power
January 13, 2026 at 3:45 AM
SCAM WARNING: this one almost got me, be careful! apparently most businesses and news outlets are owned by something called a "ruling class" and they're using our money to consolidate power
a photo of me in 2005 and a photo of me in 2025. if you make the switch from wine to weed soon enough, you can age this well too
January 12, 2026 at 8:12 PM
a photo of me in 2005 and a photo of me in 2025. if you make the switch from wine to weed soon enough, you can age this well too
i really don't want to extrapolate, but i think i'm about to reach a conclusion beyond the domain in which i collected data
January 12, 2026 at 2:39 AM
i really don't want to extrapolate, but i think i'm about to reach a conclusion beyond the domain in which i collected data
pepper seedling progress. to my surprise, the Sugar Rush Cream are germinating and sprouting fast as hell, with the beginnings of Dark Jalapeno and Black Cuban making some progress as well 🌱
January 12, 2026 at 1:44 AM
pepper seedling progress. to my surprise, the Sugar Rush Cream are germinating and sprouting fast as hell, with the beginnings of Dark Jalapeno and Black Cuban making some progress as well 🌱
the "For You" feed is much, much, much, much better than "Discover" here's a link to it bsky.app/profile/did:...
January 11, 2026 at 8:17 PM
the "For You" feed is much, much, much, much better than "Discover" here's a link to it bsky.app/profile/did:...
the precision with which christmas turned into valentine's day was remarkable. straight from presents season to presents season
January 11, 2026 at 6:08 PM
the precision with which christmas turned into valentine's day was remarkable. straight from presents season to presents season
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it
January 10, 2026 at 10:46 PM
*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it
when babies are old enough to sit up on a blanket sometimes people will put another baby there and say they're friends. this is disrespectful
January 10, 2026 at 6:29 PM
when babies are old enough to sit up on a blanket sometimes people will put another baby there and say they're friends. this is disrespectful
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
Dog, look at how many times this gallery has been painted black and then white and then black and then white
January 9, 2026 at 11:48 PM
Dog, look at how many times this gallery has been painted black and then white and then black and then white
took a walk up my street
January 10, 2026 at 1:10 AM
took a walk up my street
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
November 5, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
today, @nataliedee.bsky.social and I bring you GBU 488, which you can listen to at patreon.com/garbagebrain... along with over 400 patron-only episodes. today's episode tells you when and where Jesus is returning and why it's happening in the ocean.
January 9, 2026 at 5:01 PM
today, @nataliedee.bsky.social and I bring you GBU 488, which you can listen to at patreon.com/garbagebrain... along with over 400 patron-only episodes. today's episode tells you when and where Jesus is returning and why it's happening in the ocean.
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
I have mastered the technique of pressing the lever so I almost always get a pellet and rarely shocked
January 9, 2026 at 12:06 AM
I have mastered the technique of pressing the lever so I almost always get a pellet and rarely shocked
i checked and the sun still works
January 8, 2026 at 9:39 PM
i checked and the sun still works
"we warned you about this!" okay well i'm sorry for not personally repealing the patriot act, closing the department of homeland security, and eliminating the electoral college in favor of direct election
January 8, 2026 at 6:45 PM
"we warned you about this!" okay well i'm sorry for not personally repealing the patriot act, closing the department of homeland security, and eliminating the electoral college in favor of direct election
the invention of the baby
January 8, 2026 at 3:10 PM
the invention of the baby