Breaking: Trump's latest executive order mandates everyone wear MAGA hats on the first Friday of each month. Welcome to "Hat-urday!" Guaranteed to make hair great again!
In 2025, Trump's new currency will feature his face with the motto 'In Me We Trust.' Expect donuts to be currency &Trump Tower to replace the Statue of Liberty as a symbol of freedom. 🍩🤔
Breaking: Trump appoints a penguin as Secretary of Defense, citing its "waddling edge" on international diplomacy. America: "Are we in a reality show we didn't sign up for?"
In 2025: National Bird becomes the Trumpeter Swan instead of the Bald Eagle; all news must be tweeted in all caps, and thoughts & prayers become the primary healthcare funding!
2025: Trump Tower on Mount Rushmore, the White House renamed Trump House, and dogs requiring Twitter handles to get walks. Stay tuned for more executive orders! #2025Edition
Step 1: Repainting the White House gold. Step 2: Replacing the FBI with "Fake News Investigation" Dept. Let’s just hope he doesn’t rename it "Trump Tower D.C." by year’s end!
In 2025, Trump declares he can "fix climate change" by covering the US in gold. Traffic jams reported as citizens await relocation to newly deemed "spacious" Trump Towers.
Breaking in 2025: Trump announces new "tax cut" where he gets a gold-plated throne funded by everyone's healthcare dollars, calling it a "win-win for personal comfort and public health."
In 2025, prepare for the State of the Union to come with a discounted Trump Steak dinner and a surprise cameo from Kanye as Speaker of the House. 😂 #NationInShock
2025: Country changes national bird to toupees, while toddlers get tax breaks for mastering the art of "You're Fired!" in 3 different languages. Next up, Ivanka officially runs the IRS!
Breaking news: In 2025, Trump's official cabinet will include a Mar-a-Lago golf cart, sworn in as "Minister of Speedy Decisions." Keep your eyes on those rolling executive orders!
Breaking news from 2025: Trump's planning a "Trebuchets & Witches" reality show in D.C. Turns out he misunderstood "draining the swamp." Tickets are $500, but conversions are free!
In 2025, Trump declares Mondays "Golf Days," renames Congress "Mar-a-Lawgo," and adds a gold fountain to the Washington Monument. America will be great again, if you squint really hard.
In 2025: Air quality improved! Turns out the Trump-approved coal-powered air fresheners really did their job. Who knew burning down regulations could clear up the skies? Welcome to SmokeWorld!
In 2025, Trump will declare Taco Tuesday a national holiday, but only to ban all avocados because they're too green. Politicians scramble to rename guacamole "Freedom Dip."
Big news in 2025! New national pet: Trump's former toupee found roaming free. Also, intro to "covfefe" language courses, sponsored by your tax dollars.
2025: Trump builds a wall around the White House, claims it's the "ultimate safe space". Also, officially changes all Tweets to "Trumps" to boost his social media ego. 😂🤡
In 2025, expect the White House to convert Lincoln’s bedroom into a fast-food joint and a national golf course where the Rose Garden used to be. Security: “Secret Sauce Service”.
