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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 14h

Yes this is about Tom Segura

Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 14h

I’d prefer they be held responsible in front of a firing squad but I guess “in front of a senate committee” is a good first step

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 15h

Listen to the response to this and look how easy it is to say it.

Graham Platner for Senate @grahamformaine.bsky.social · 15h

We have armed secret police kidnapping people off the street based on the color of their skin.

When we win: we will haul them before a Senate committee. The masks will come off. There will be consequences.

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 16h

I got my hair cut in a part of Glendale year where everyone was dressing like Brooklyn hipsters from 2009

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

In my teens and early 20s I knew a bunch of dudes who loved smoking weed but were afraid that showing any kinds of joy or whimsy would make them look gay, so they would just smoke blunts in stone faced silence. And it’s like, giggling is one of the top 5 best side effects of weed my dudes. Chill

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

Shit would be so sick

Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

You thought the depreciation on a Lambo was bad before…

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

“Found Dead in Lamborghini” would be a pretty dope name for a Synthwave song

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

I just heard that “Bad Day” Daniel Powter in an Uber, and I realized that might be one of the worst fucking songs I’ve ever heard. How the fuck did that become a hit? I need to meet the person who is casually throwing that shit on for enjoyment. Sounds like it was written for a Kleenex commercial

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

I can see why that guy was so trigged with my flippant mockery

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

The epidemic will never end until gabapentin is destigmatized

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

Yummy

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 1d

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

This guy got mad because I said Jimmy Car is a hack pussy. Then came back like two weeks later to randomly reply to another tweet. He then legit thought that I thought he was just a die hard “Carr Head.” I am fascinated as to what it must be like to go through life this fucking stupid

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Ya I can tell when they are rage bots though. A lot of them re just actual idiots

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Some very stupid people on Threads who don’t understand jokes think they are arguing with me, while I’m actually just making fun of them, but they don’t realize I’m making fun of them because they’re very very stupid and don’t understand jokes.

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

I can think of a pretty good solution

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Her family dying form mold infections because their immune system is fucked form a carnivore diet is pretty fucking funny

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Would be pretty cool if Jordan Peterson dies. Keeping any eye on it, but I have high hopes

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Hey just because you got sober doesn’t automatically make you more of an authority on life. You quitting opioids doesn’t make your perspective on the world clearer and more “real” than mine, just because I smoked a dab 2min ago. Like congratulations, but you quit oxy, you didn’t also get a PHD

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

No slaves in the form yard unless they are managing the landscaping

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Like my base instinct was to turn around and GTA 5 lunge-punch that dude in the back of the head, but nope, I unfortunately have empathy

Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

I was waiting at a bus stop and some methed out dude started screaming at me in Spanish. Then he spit at me and it hit my arm. Lucky for him, I have class solidarity, an understanding of mental illness, and I’m not racist. Because otherwise I would have bounced his skull off the sidewalk

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

Joe Rogan said he’s excited that Trump is in office because now we can call people “retards” again. And it’s like, ya I guess it is nice to have a perfect word for all of Joe Rogan’s fans.

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

At least let them be free range

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

I was waiting at a bus stop and some methed out dude started screaming at me in Spanish. Then he spit at me and it hit my arm. Lucky for him, I have class solidarity, an understanding of mental illness, and I’m not racist. Because otherwise I would have bounced his skull off the sidewalk

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Evan Leslie Jokes @evanlesliejones.bsky.social · 2d

When they invent servant robots, do you guys think the Saudi Royal Family will still keep their salves? Like, just as part of tradition? Symbolic slaves

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