Evan Leslie Jokes
@evanlesliejones.bsky.social
6.2K followers 24K following 1.6K posts
Stand up comedian. So far I like it here.
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evanlesliejones.bsky.social
You thought the depreciation on a Lambo was bad before…
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
“Found Dead in Lamborghini” would be a pretty dope name for a Synthwave song
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I just heard that “Bad Day” Daniel Powter in an Uber, and I realized that might be one of the worst fucking songs I’ve ever heard. How the fuck did that become a hit? I need to meet the person who is casually throwing that shit on for enjoyment. Sounds like it was written for a Kleenex commercial
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I can see why that guy was so trigged with my flippant mockery
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
The epidemic will never end until gabapentin is destigmatized
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
This guy got mad because I said Jimmy Car is a hack pussy. Then came back like two weeks later to randomly reply to another tweet. He then legit thought that I thought he was just a die hard “Carr Head.” I am fascinated as to what it must be like to go through life this fucking stupid
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Ya I can tell when they are rage bots though. A lot of them re just actual idiots
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Some very stupid people on Threads who don’t understand jokes think they are arguing with me, while I’m actually just making fun of them, but they don’t realize I’m making fun of them because they’re very very stupid and don’t understand jokes.
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I can think of a pretty good solution
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Her family dying form mold infections because their immune system is fucked form a carnivore diet is pretty fucking funny
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Would be pretty cool if Jordan Peterson dies. Keeping any eye on it, but I have high hopes
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Hey just because you got sober doesn’t automatically make you more of an authority on life. You quitting opioids doesn’t make your perspective on the world clearer and more “real” than mine, just because I smoked a dab 2min ago. Like congratulations, but you quit oxy, you didn’t also get a PHD
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
No slaves in the form yard unless they are managing the landscaping
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Like my base instinct was to turn around and GTA 5 lunge-punch that dude in the back of the head, but nope, I unfortunately have empathy
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I was waiting at a bus stop and some methed out dude started screaming at me in Spanish. Then he spit at me and it hit my arm. Lucky for him, I have class solidarity, an understanding of mental illness, and I’m not racist. Because otherwise I would have bounced his skull off the sidewalk
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Joe Rogan said he’s excited that Trump is in office because now we can call people “retards” again. And it’s like, ya I guess it is nice to have a perfect word for all of Joe Rogan’s fans.
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
At least let them be free range
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I was waiting at a bus stop and some methed out dude started screaming at me in Spanish. Then he spit at me and it hit my arm. Lucky for him, I have class solidarity, an understanding of mental illness, and I’m not racist. Because otherwise I would have bounced his skull off the sidewalk
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
When they invent servant robots, do you guys think the Saudi Royal Family will still keep their salves? Like, just as part of tradition? Symbolic slaves
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Seen Dave Chapelle live twice now. Didn’t laugh fucking once. First time he was so drunk he didn’t even try to do bits, he just screamed at a French lady in the front row who didn’t recognize him “I’m the most famous comedian in the world! I could fuck your tits right now if I wanted” for 2 hours
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
In defense of the Saudi Arabia comedy festival
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
Trying to build a minimum spec PC to run OBS in 1080p 30fps, while capturing from an Xbox One and/or PS5 depending on the game. So far I have a Dell OptiPlex 5050 SFF I got for $77. i5 7600, 16gb DDR4, 256g NVME SSD, Windows 10. Going to install a 1TB SSD I have and also a WX 4100 GPU.
evanlesliejones.bsky.social
I always say “if you can’t fix it, shoot it a bunch of times with bullets from a gun” USA! USA!