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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻
@fesshole.bsky.social
98K followers 3 following 11K posts
Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you? Buy show tickets 2025: sites.google.com/view/fesshole Add confession forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7 Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21 Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social
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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · Sep 4
Add your fess: forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7

FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
FAQ: docs.google.com/document/d/1xbmKWlosI_Ac6NMi8PzxupaIH-_twlp4ZGJE961X5wE
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/5133334-fesshole-the-podcast
It's dates for the live show Diss (Norfolk/East Anglia) - The Corn Hall - 10th September 2025 Worthing (West Sussex) - The Factory Live - 15th October 2025 Liverpool - Hot Water Comedy - 12th Nov 2025 Leeds - The Old Woolen - 4th March 2026
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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 51m
Worked at a supermarket. The manager, Cath, was absolutely vile to me. I called her "Beth" once by mistake and she went absolutely crazy, so I kept doing it. She kept threatening disciplinary action, but I kept pretending I just forgot her name. I didn't forget, Beth.
8 4 120
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1h
A bastard burgled my house while I was at work. Saw it all on my home CCTV & called the police. The police caught the burglar because he was having so much fun playing with our Golden Retriever, Daisy, that he didn't realise the cops had surrounded the place.
20 13 250
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 2h
I was always forgetting the names of our elderly neighbours until I realised that it's just like saying "packet of crisps" in a very loose Glasgow accent. Their names are Pat & Chris.
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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 3h
Five years ago, car hire company hit me with a spurious cleaning fee, so I've been throwing away the wheel nut lock key of every single one I hire.
7 5 120
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 4h
Bought an endoscope to look inside my ears. Didn't expect them to be full of blackheads. Why didn't anyone tell me?
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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 5h
Call centre worker here. I record a tally when the customer, before providing their email address, state 'all in lower case'. No Doreen, your email address is case-insensitive. Highest count in a day is 24. We need to educating the UK public.
40 10 180
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 14h
For the last few months my diet has consisted mainly of Pot Noodles and Ferrero Rocher. Recently I discovered that if you stir a couple of the chocolates in like you would the sachet, it improves the taste of both. Bonus marks for necking the whole lot in one go. Bon appétit.
20 1 100
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 15h
Slept with a member of a 00s girl band before they were famous. Can't tell anyone as I was and still am with my husband and straight.
35 3 190
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 16h
Work I marketing department, there is a monthly draw of 3 x £50 Amazon vouchers for surveys submitted, each month I create three new random emails and I am lucky to win 3 vouchers every month. Been doing this for thee years.
15 110
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 17h
My partner pronounces pain au chocolat as pan-o-shocko-lard. I may leave them.
35 3 200
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 18h
In 1988 we went on holiday to America. I told my 10 year old brother that they'd just released Nike Air Antigrav shoes. He went to every shoe shop in two shopping malls asking to try a pair of the limited release trainers I'd imagined for him.
5 1 120
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 19h
I once saw an American bloke in an AOL chatroom say "Here's a rose for all the ladies in the room @}———". I thought it was cool and used it myself for a bit. What a fucking loser.
13 3 160
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 20h
I love my parents but I don't think I can do another ten years of saying "No, that's not true. That far right influencer/politician is lying to you again. Here are the facts." They get so frightened by all the lies. It's exhausting.
54 73 1.1K
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 21h
Living in a mostly sexless marriage, I've noticed my wife reliably wants sex after I come back from work trips. I've started inventing work trips and just staying in a hotel overnight now. She probably either thinks I'm cheating, or is cheating herself but it's worth it.
11 2 150
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 22h
Free your conscience with a confession. Share it here with Uncle Fesshole: https://forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7
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fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 22h
Clinic sister made me give clinic staff a ticking off as reports of nurses swivel chair races had made it to her ears. As a consultant she said I needed to nip bad behaviour in the bud. Going to have to wait till she's on holiday for the next competition.
12 10 360
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 23h
We're looking for a childminder with a garden for our toddler because it seems impossible that we will be able to afford one of our own in his childhood years. Or a sibling. Or a pet.
4 5 170
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
My wife said 6 bikes was too many for one person and we had to have a one-in, one-out rule before buying any more. I got her into cycling and gifted her 2 of my bikes. We now own 7 bikes between us.
23 5 240
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
Wife text me a small household request. I replied okie dokey which was auto corrected to ok donkey. Now I'm making my own tea. Fuck you technology.
26 30 440
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
I rescued my neighbour last winter, she possibly could have died from exposure. Cannot stand her, really regret it now.
11 3 170
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
I was sleeping with my mum's end of life carer. We had snuck off when my mum died alone. In some ways I'm riddled with guilt. In others it was my mum that joked about us fancying each other. We are still together. So I feel like it was her plan all along. My last gift from her.
26 5 570
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
In primary school we were told to hunt down and draw any insect we had could near home. Took in my drawing and found it was of some sort of parasite insect that meant the farmer lost all his potato crops that had to be destroyed. I'd just copied it from a book. Sorry Farmer.
12 3 210
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
I quit my job at the funeral home because I muddled up two old fellas. They were dead, white, bald, and skinny. I couldn't tell them apart. Apparently that's easy to do. I am looking for a job where face blindness is less of a hindrance than it is when working with the dead.
15 7 240
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
Walking to work in London, a trio of random Japanese tourists approached me excitedly, asked for a selfie with me and for my autograph, which I gave. I'm not famous and I have no idea who they thought I was.
25 6 280
fesshole.bsky.social
fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1d
I dispatch orders for a large online shop, checking orders are packaged and addressed properly. People who put double spaces in their names & addresses get bumped to the back of the queue. Sometimes this delays their order for a week. Fuck the illiterate numpties.
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