fesshole 🧻
@fesshole.bsky.social
Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you?
Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Add confession b3ta.com/addfess
Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social
Buy show tickets 2025/6: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Add confession b3ta.com/addfess
Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social
Pinned
FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: Liverpool, Leicester, Leeds, Sweden (Malmö, GÖTEBORG, STOCKHOLM), also Anon Opin In London / Leicester sites.google.com/view/fesshole
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+bes...
Add your fess: b3ta.com/addfess
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/513...
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+bes...
Add your fess: b3ta.com/addfess
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/513...
I gave a eulogy at a climbing buddies funeral. The first line read "Dave's first love was his wife and son, but he also had a passion for climbing". What I said in front of his wife, son and 200 friends and family was, "Dave's first love was climbing". It still keeps me awake.
November 25, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I gave a eulogy at a climbing buddies funeral. The first line read "Dave's first love was his wife and son, but he also had a passion for climbing". What I said in front of his wife, son and 200 friends and family was, "Dave's first love was climbing". It still keeps me awake.
My mate is living the dream of shagging his ex's mum on a regular basis. As she's of more advanced years, we're running out of names for him. The classic "Biddy Fiddler" is so far the top one, so more of an appeal for new names. I wish I was making this up
November 25, 2025 at 8:20 PM
My mate is living the dream of shagging his ex's mum on a regular basis. As she's of more advanced years, we're running out of names for him. The classic "Biddy Fiddler" is so far the top one, so more of an appeal for new names. I wish I was making this up
I absolutely hate childcare. When my two children were young, friends and family would tell me to "cherish every moment because in a blink of an eye they'll be grown." No and no. It was hard, tedious work 24 hours a day and I thank God it's over.
November 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I absolutely hate childcare. When my two children were young, friends and family would tell me to "cherish every moment because in a blink of an eye they'll be grown." No and no. It was hard, tedious work 24 hours a day and I thank God it's over.
I work in a bus station. I often get people coming to me asking why their coach is late and demanding information. I take great satisfaction in pointing out that their ticket is for a coach that left at 4:25am so complaining to me at 16:45 is not going to help.
November 25, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I work in a bus station. I often get people coming to me asking why their coach is late and demanding information. I take great satisfaction in pointing out that their ticket is for a coach that left at 4:25am so complaining to me at 16:45 is not going to help.
Mum came around to visit me, noticed a lot of tissues in the bathroom bin. Asked if I'd had a cold, said I had but was feeling better now. Couldn't tell her they were the result of a week's worth of wanking.
November 25, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Mum came around to visit me, noticed a lot of tissues in the bathroom bin. Asked if I'd had a cold, said I had but was feeling better now. Couldn't tell her they were the result of a week's worth of wanking.
Fake proposed to my girlfriend for a joke on holiday. She started crying and was so happy. Felt so bad I couldn't tell her it was a joke. Anyway we're getting married next year.
November 25, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Fake proposed to my girlfriend for a joke on holiday. She started crying and was so happy. Felt so bad I couldn't tell her it was a joke. Anyway we're getting married next year.
Admit your truth today. Submit your fess now: http://b3ta.com/addfess
November 25, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Admit your truth today. Submit your fess now: http://b3ta.com/addfess
Not a confession so much but the slight embarrassment when you've booked a table and your taken to your table and the whole is place empty, Because it's shit and there was no need.
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Not a confession so much but the slight embarrassment when you've booked a table and your taken to your table and the whole is place empty, Because it's shit and there was no need.
Girlfriend sent me to get my back waxed before a family holiday, and it was only an extra £15 to get my nether regions done as well, so I thought I might as well. What she neglected to tell me was that the salon was run by her cousin who's seen everything.
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Girlfriend sent me to get my back waxed before a family holiday, and it was only an extra £15 to get my nether regions done as well, so I thought I might as well. What she neglected to tell me was that the salon was run by her cousin who's seen everything.
The last teabag in the jar has been held hostage for the last two years. Every time it senses freedom, I drown it with fellow prisoners. As I make 95% of the tea, I reckon this little fucker's got another four years or so.
November 25, 2025 at 1:20 PM
The last teabag in the jar has been held hostage for the last two years. Every time it senses freedom, I drown it with fellow prisoners. As I make 95% of the tea, I reckon this little fucker's got another four years or so.
I work at a quite posh hotel. There's a wedding reception most weeks. My favorite are the Jewish weddings, not for the celebration, but for spying the number of lapsed faithful who'll sneak some bacon under their breakfast and find out of the way tables to eat it
November 25, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I work at a quite posh hotel. There's a wedding reception most weeks. My favorite are the Jewish weddings, not for the celebration, but for spying the number of lapsed faithful who'll sneak some bacon under their breakfast and find out of the way tables to eat it
I caught my wife shouting 'nonce' at our dog. Apparently she had no idea what it really meant and has been doing it for years in public thinking it was just what you said when someone was naughty.
November 25, 2025 at 11:20 AM
I caught my wife shouting 'nonce' at our dog. Apparently she had no idea what it really meant and has been doing it for years in public thinking it was just what you said when someone was naughty.
Asked my girlfriend of two years what would be a relationship dealbreaker for her. She said "picking your nose". I do that all the time. Not sure if she's just never noticed or is winding me up. I cant risk checking in case it's the former.
November 25, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Asked my girlfriend of two years what would be a relationship dealbreaker for her. She said "picking your nose". I do that all the time. Not sure if she's just never noticed or is winding me up. I cant risk checking in case it's the former.
I'm a male in my 30s, I have an Etsy store online since lockdown. Customers & their reviews assume I'm a female. Starting rolling with it, given myself a name and everything. Customers love her but now I can't show my friends my successful handmade store.
November 25, 2025 at 9:20 AM
I'm a male in my 30s, I have an Etsy store online since lockdown. Customers & their reviews assume I'm a female. Starting rolling with it, given myself a name and everything. Customers love her but now I can't show my friends my successful handmade store.
Wife wants to take our dog to the vet. Apparently he smells bad, and she's worried he's becoming incontinent. I daren't tell her he ran through my flow as I treated myself to an au natural wee on our forest walk yesterday
November 25, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Wife wants to take our dog to the vet. Apparently he smells bad, and she's worried he's becoming incontinent. I daren't tell her he ran through my flow as I treated myself to an au natural wee on our forest walk yesterday
Fesshole Live is coming to Leicester, Luton and Leeds – get your tickets now! We’re also taking the show to Sweden (Malmö, Göteborg, Stockholm) and doing Anon Opin in Leicester. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
November 25, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Fesshole Live is coming to Leicester, Luton and Leeds – get your tickets now! We’re also taking the show to Sweden (Malmö, Göteborg, Stockholm) and doing Anon Opin in Leicester. https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
I'm a married woman. I don't embarrass easily, but I've discovered recently that there's nothing more mortifying than not having to do a pregnancy test before a hospital procedure because you haven't had sex in ages.
November 24, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I'm a married woman. I don't embarrass easily, but I've discovered recently that there's nothing more mortifying than not having to do a pregnancy test before a hospital procedure because you haven't had sex in ages.
His fess I guess, but thought husband was sneaking off most nights to watch porn, didn't really care but curiousity got the best of me, checked his browser history. He's playing chess. At 2am. Multiple times a week. Worst part is, I saw his ELO, he's not even any good.
November 24, 2025 at 10:20 PM
His fess I guess, but thought husband was sneaking off most nights to watch porn, didn't really care but curiousity got the best of me, checked his browser history. He's playing chess. At 2am. Multiple times a week. Worst part is, I saw his ELO, he's not even any good.
Recently single. One of the things I miss the most is dropping a reference to having a partner/girlfriend when talking with women I've just met so they know I'm not hitting on them or have an agenda. I just liking chatting with people.
November 24, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Recently single. One of the things I miss the most is dropping a reference to having a partner/girlfriend when talking with women I've just met so they know I'm not hitting on them or have an agenda. I just liking chatting with people.
When I go to the Sainsbury's self checkout I scan my Nectar card then scan my shopping and pay, then just before I leave I scan my Nectar card again for the next person. They might get some Nectar card prices on some items and I get some extra points. Win win.
November 24, 2025 at 8:20 PM
When I go to the Sainsbury's self checkout I scan my Nectar card then scan my shopping and pay, then just before I leave I scan my Nectar card again for the next person. They might get some Nectar card prices on some items and I get some extra points. Win win.
I'm trying to teach my kid that McDonalds is gross. He keeps asking for it. I keep adding increasingly disgusting amounts of vinegar to Happy Meals. He just seems to be developing an inhuman tolerance to vinegar.
November 24, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I'm trying to teach my kid that McDonalds is gross. He keeps asking for it. I keep adding increasingly disgusting amounts of vinegar to Happy Meals. He just seems to be developing an inhuman tolerance to vinegar.
I spent 35 years calling my best friend's mum Mrs P because I'd have a brain panic about whether her name was Sheila or Shirley
November 24, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I spent 35 years calling my best friend's mum Mrs P because I'd have a brain panic about whether her name was Sheila or Shirley
When I was a kid I started pissing on my bedroom floor for some reason. I'd get up in the middle of the night and spray it across the carpet like a sprinkler. My parents never confronted me about it and one day they just got me a new carpet. I stopped doing it immediately.
November 24, 2025 at 5:20 PM
When I was a kid I started pissing on my bedroom floor for some reason. I'd get up in the middle of the night and spray it across the carpet like a sprinkler. My parents never confronted me about it and one day they just got me a new carpet. I stopped doing it immediately.
Divorced and remarried. Both times just wanted a plain gold band as a ring. Kept the first one at the back of a drawer when we broke up, never got round to selling it. Dropped my current wedding ring into that drawer a few weeks back. Now have no idea which ring I'm wearing.
November 24, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Divorced and remarried. Both times just wanted a plain gold band as a ring. Kept the first one at the back of a drawer when we broke up, never got round to selling it. Dropped my current wedding ring into that drawer a few weeks back. Now have no idea which ring I'm wearing.
Is there something on your mind that's troubling you? Tell Fesshole and Fesshole might tell the world: http://b3ta.com/addfess
November 24, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Is there something on your mind that's troubling you? Tell Fesshole and Fesshole might tell the world: http://b3ta.com/addfess