Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

fesshole 🧻

@fesshole.bsky.social

98K followers 3 following 11K posts

Confess your sins anonymously - will the internet absolve you? Buy show tickets 2025: sites.google.com/view/fesshole Add confession forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7 Buy book amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21 Run @robmanuelyeah.bsky.social

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · Sep 4

Add your fess: forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7

FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS: sites.google.com/view/fesshole
BOOK(s): amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
FAQ: docs.google.com/document/d/1xbmKWlosI_Ac6NMi8PzxupaIH-_twlp4ZGJE961X5wE
PODCAST: audioboom.com/channels/5133334-fesshole-the-podcast

It's dates for the live show

Diss (Norfolk/East Anglia) - The Corn Hall - 10th September 2025
Worthing (West Sussex) - The Factory Live - 15th October 2025
Liverpool - Hot Water Comedy - 12th Nov 2025
Leeds - The Old Woolen - 4th March 2026

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 39m

I think my wife is trying to get me to cheat on her so she can divorce me and try to take everything off me. She's had 'friends' come round for drinks & when she goes to the bathroom they 'come on' to me. I'm not that stupid, I'd rather keep what I have now than fall for that!

10 46

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 59m

Secrets need an outlet. Use the Fesshole form: https://forms.gle/qqBxEsJ31Uawv6EY7

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 1h

Reading, 1998. I went with a group of friends including my ex, cos we'd bought tickets before the break up. Sunday night after many drinks, she offered sex. I turned her down on grounds it could re-open old wounds. Better than admitting I'd shat myself in the queue for the bogs.

4 75

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 2h

I've stood as a candidate in local and national elections. The best part of the count is when we see all the rejected ballots. Yes, we see your willy scribbles and insults and decide between us who had the best one

8 4 120

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 3h

Spent a few quid and too much time transferring a sex tape I made with an old girlfriend to digital. Mostly I'm just happy to see myself in a reasonable physical condition and wish I could shown my wife how good I looked before she met me.

9 83

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 4h

People are amazed that I get so many Christmas cards. I've actually been saving them for years. If they took the time to read them they'd see duplicates of names and cards from people who are dead.

10 99

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 5h

I got set up with a guy who I had no interest in, went to the pity date because my plans for that day feel through and well we end up doing it and ended up conceiving and now we have three kids and get married this weekend. Oops.

13 2 210

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 6h

To liven up a presentation I made a humorous homage to the old nostalgia reels they'd show during snooker intervals. Badly misjudged my audience and had to sit through an excruciating 3 mins 55 of Memories by Barbara Streisand over a powerpoint slideshow of Excel screenshots.

11 3 82

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 7h

I have come to believe that sandwiches are either a butter or mayo delivery system and that if I am wanting to avoid carbs I can just take a spoon of butter and mayo - or both with whatever else I Was going to eat from cheese to corned beef. Sometimes it's just butter and mayo.

8 95

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 8h

I'm a middle-aged man and frequently end up staring into the middle distance, thinking about fuck all. My wife accuses me of eyeing up other women when I'm doing this outdoors, which I have not done. I now suspect I have resting pervert face.

17 9 400

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 17h

I've come to the realisation that I consume too much true crime content. I can't see a person wheeling a suitcase without my first thought being 'make sure you get a good look at their face, you'll be a key witness when that case is discovered dumped somewhere containing a torso'

10 1 170

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 18h

When I was younger my mum made us go to church on Sunday. Every week she would give me a pound to put in the collection box. I used to swap it out for a 2p and spend the pound on sweets during the week.

20 1 230

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 19h

I clean my Airpods with my kid's toothbrush.

13 1 95

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 20h

When my Ann Summers Jessica Rabbit quit working, I disposed of it in my gay next door neighbours wheelie bin so I didn't blush next time I saw the bin men.

14 1 91

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 21h

My wife is not speaking to me because her and her mother walked in on me trying to vacuum a fart directly from source

40 12 310

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 22h

Recently diagnosed with Crohn's. Whilst trying to calm down inflammation I've been on a diet devoid of fruits, vegetables and fibre. I tell everyone it's a struggle but I secretly love eating like a fussy toddler.

10 180

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 22h

We're doing a Fesshole LIVE show in Worthing on the 15th. Do come - also available Liverpool and Leeds + trying out an Anon Opin show in that London.
sites.google.com/view/fesshole

FESSHOLE LIVE TICKETS

Fesshole LIVE is me Rob Manuel who created @fesshole making it into a live comedy show. People ask what to expect? It's a show of two halves and they're both laser precision designed to be fun - first...

sites.google.com

fesshole 🧻 @fesshole.bsky.social · 23h

My wife doesn't have assigned drawers for any of her clothes. T-shirts go in with dresses, trousers with jumpers, even towels are chucked in anywhere. Her socks go in my sock drawer. This should be her fess, but she doesn't see the problem.

30 5 250