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Sophie

@gloomcookie.bsky.social

870 followers 160 following 15K posts

Writer, phd candidate, hot mess

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Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 2h

He does 🥰

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 3h

Far too young.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 3h

Oh jesus

I'm so sorry, how horrible

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 5h

I made some progress on my work today which was good.
I looked at everything I had left to do and felt bad.
Now I am tired and trying not to think about work at all.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 7h

Just find a non-basketcase i beg of u

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 8h

No bestie

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 8h

Are they a basketcase

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 8h

Nooooo

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 8h

Y tho

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 9h

If i could get paid for it then great but sadly

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 9h

Yeah i just don't really care about that. The only time I'll use it is on forms that require a title. Like it's neat but...

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 9h

What?

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 9h

Time to start watching the bad stuff

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 10h

My favourite Leo moment is when Red finds out he was in Vietnam and his opinion of him does a total 180

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 12h

You got training??

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

The *logic* is mostly sound but at this point I don't think most of the arguments reflect reality. Just because they're logical doesn't mean I actually agree with them but at this point it's too late to pivot

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

Yeah but the PhD has no value to me.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

I enjoy the research and the writing and the editing, once I can get myself to do it. The product is sub par and I am dreading the process of having people read it and point out all the ways it sucks

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

I burnt out at the end of my first year and never recovered, had a breakdown that i felt pressured to work through, clawed back some kind of rhythm that broke down when i went on a research trip and since then it's been a fog really.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

People talk about imposter syndrome as if there are no imposters out there lol. My work doesn't measure up to my *own* standards. People talk about working long hours and I work like 2 hours a day if I'm lucky because the last minute panic that used to get me through doesnt exist for me any more

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

Yeah that's my hope. My MA corrections were literally 3 typos. But during my MA I felt competent and engaged. With my PhD I feel lost and incapable of working at the level I know i can.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

I really, really want to be done. It bothers me that when I'm done I still won't be *done*.

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

So even after the thesis is handed in, your life is on standby for up to a year or even longer.

At my uni you have a hard deadline of 4 years, which I have already surpassed but got an extension for. The hard deadline is extremely stressful and annoying given I'll be waiting so long afterwards

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

After you hand in your thesis, you twiddle your thumbs for a bit while waiting for the report. Then you defend. Then you have some months to fix all the problems. Some people wait like a year for the report. Some people wait ages for the thesis to even get sent out to markers

Sophie @gloomcookie.bsky.social · 13h

Not having a whine (for a change) just trying to work something through "out loud"

I started the PhD in 2021 when the job market was still kinda shitty as a way to spend my time while I worked out what I wanted to do with my life. 4 years later the only answer I have is "hang out with my dog".