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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 18m

No should I bring this drama into my life

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 5h

I’ve been asking Matt how old she has to be to learn to make a cocktail this could be our first stepping stone

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 6h

OHOOO I fucking loved mine so much that’s a great idea

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 6h

But I need to put something under the Christmas tree and no I’m not doing some weird thing instead of toys I don’t care we have memberships to every zoo and aquarium in a 50 mile radius I assure you we have experiences I need a pHYSICAL GIFT to open

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 6h

What’s a good big present for a 4 year old? She has a balance bike/ pedal bike, a scooter, a power wheels, an indoor trampoline, a dollhouse, a kitchen, an easel and whole art room set up, a wooden train set, and multiple doll strollers and grocery carts. Obviously what I’m saying is she is spoiled.

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 22h

Im being targeted by this incredibly slutty Pilates specific performance brand on Instagram and I can feel my restraint waning I want the slutty Pilates outfit

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve never been more jealous of a person in my whole life

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 1d

Completely unprompted, Edie looks up at me while we are walking into gymnastics and says “mama, when I hold your hand, I’m not scared. I love to hold your hand. I love to spend time with mama and dada. I love you so much!” and I have been healed (from the trauma of her yelling at me all morning)

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 2d

I am the most tired girl in the worldsdddd

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 2d

Lmao I legit laughed out loud at this

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 2d

The word admit is missing but honestly nobody seems to have noticed let’s all pretend it’s in there

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 2d

Human man boyfriend and human woman girlfriend is this anything

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 2d

Has enough time passed that we can it was fucking insane Obama won a Nobel peace prize like Trump was right about that one specific thing

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 3d

If you write a recipe and tell me to add oil to a pan to cook bacon real talk I never need to hear from you again because why the fuck would I ever do that

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 8d

Has anyone heard of this performance apparel brand Rhone because I am desperate to discuss their coastal grandma who also does Pilates vibe

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 9d

What’s funny is the beats are kind of fun and then she starts singing and it’s like you cannot be serious lol

Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 9d

I do and I would also kill myself for that black dress with the white silhouette

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 9d

I heard a snippet of a song because I was curious and I really had to immediately turn it off this is why this boring bitch is blocked on my Spotify I am genuinely repulsed by her art lol

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 9d

What I have learned this week is Cardi B knows everyone’s business when the pope confesses he calls Cardi

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 9d

Oh my Taylor this is… very bad

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 10d

I’m not kidding if I have to go to prison for life to keep my baby alive I will with a smile on my fucking face. I’ve had a stalker before I know what these animals are capable of. Not my kid bitch.

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 10d

I’ll let you know right now, if one of your dusty sons stalks MY daughter? I will drag him by his broccoli cut to the stairs of our local police station and execute him like a political prisoner in broad daylight. I don’t care how old he is the devil himself couldn’t dream up what I would do

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 10d

There is nothing better than going to sleep and putting your feet under your sleeping dog when it’s chilly outside and all the windows are open

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Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 12d

Also I need the sluttiest costume idea known to man

Grendel’s mom @grendelsmom.bsky.social · 12d

I’m throwing an adult Halloween party and I need everyone to give me their best Halloween party ideas

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