Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 21h

who do conservatives want to play the halftime show??? i’m sure if i asked my uncle he’d be like

ohhh it’s gotta be Bobby “The Sticks” Applebees

and then it’s like a guy whose whole discography is about cheating on his wife and also he’s been dead for thirty years

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 2d

they should invent a feature where you can search for people by pronoun

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 5d

I am OUTRAGED that Netflix has a kids show with a “nonbinary” cow.

Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).

Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 5d

my photos app thinks my three best friends are my ex, joe biden, and a girl i haven’t spoken to since 2016

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 6d

wow i can’t think of anything worse than being taylor swift right now

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 11d

i actually love the idea of an AI actress because i hate when women are also people

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 12d

(presidential debate 2027)

JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.

GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.

THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 14d

every AI ad is like

“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”

and then the phone is like

“sandwich”

and the guy is like

“wow”

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 15d

In Texas, the fine for a DUI is $2,000

The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000

This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 20d

most trans people aren’t dangerous and the ones that are dangerous are too busy railing me to do anything bad

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 21d

so every conservative can say the shooter was a 10 foot tall tr*nny who eats babies and killed george washington but jimmy kimmel can’t say that maybe it was just some guy???

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 24d

yeah one of my biggest issues with trans porn is that halfway through they always stop kissing, turn to the camera, and repeat “assassinate charlie kirk” for 20 minutes

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 26d

i never thought i’d see the right so determined to make a young christian man transgender

they’ve got kash patel putting wigs on that boy while telling him he has beautiful bone structure

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 27d

“transgender ideology” and it’s just a depressed person who uses discord

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 27d

one of the funniest things the right insinuates is that all trans people agree with each other

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · 29d

i wonder why people are dehumanizing a guy who spent his whole adult life making money off dehumanization

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 6

is there already a list of transgender people who own guns? does that list have their phone numbers? does the list include if maybe they’d want to kiss me?

america deserves to know!

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 3

ah yes malcolm gladwell, the genius behind “if you do one thing a bunch of times you’ll get good at it”

Them @them.us · Sep 3

Malcolm Gladwell Speaks Out Against Trans Athletes, Reversing Past Statements: "I'm Ashamed"

The author behind 'The Tipping Point' admonished his prior actions, saying he had felt “cowed” by the public.

www.them.us

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 3

many people live in tgirl desserts where you have to drive hours to get to the nearest tgirl

when i’m president, i will make sure every american has access to tgirl

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

okay i’m blushing…

hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

Like many of you, I thought Donald Trump was dead.

So, yesterday I bought 6,000 eggs in order to sell them back at a higher price once his death was announced and prices skyrocketed.

Now, I need to get rid of 5,980 eggs. I ate 20 today in a panic and I feel so so sick right now. Please help me.

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

kinda funny for people to be like “donald trump must be sick! he looks like shit!” and then it’s just a picture of how that guy has always looked

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

we could never have a revolution with only trans women cause the chants would be quiet as hell

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

how am i supposed to feel comfortable on an app without 30 bald guys screaming at me about sports betting

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hayden johnson @haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social · Sep 2

praying the only bootlicking on this app is the hot kind

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