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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power
@ihpower.bsky.social
1.4K followers 160 following 2.8K posts
@IHPower on Twitter. Don’t take this shit too seriously. Unless I’m talking about Tories, I really do hate them that much.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 11h
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you

~James Blunt

I’d love to fuck you but you’re with that lucky cunt!

~James Blunter
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 13h
I might invite someone else next time.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 13h
I had a Sunday lunch that lasted nearly two hours and polished off two bottles of wine. I like those Sunday lunches best.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d
"I sometimes put spit on my cock before having sex.” - Bob Carolgees.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d
I'm smart enough to know how to pronounce chorizo. I'm wise enough to know it would make me sound like a dickhead.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d
Who are Beyoncé's favourite Emmerdale characters?

All the Dingle ladies.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d
Fool people into thinking you've passed your Advanced Driving Test by simply using indicators at roundabouts.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d
“You do realise they're everywhere, poisoning our way of life with their strange ways and beliefs.”

"Immigrants?"

“No, Daily Mail readers.”
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d
I nearly married a Brazilian many years ago. That was a close shave.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d
If nothing else a Facebook account is a great way of reminding yourself why you don't make the effort to meet up with family and old friends anymore.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d
Last night I did a mash-up of Anthrax and The Vaccines. It sounded like The Cure.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
Those midlife crisis men who clog up the roads on their bicycles piss me off. I didn’t buy a Porsche convertible to be stuck behind those sad wankers.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
"Some of them aren't cunts", was the best I could come up with when asked to say something positive about colleagues in today’s team meeting.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
Numbers 1 to 9 of the most common sports injuries are to the legs, head or back. Ten is elbow.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
Shutting the fuck up is a very underrated pastime. More people should try it.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
I'm - anyone under the age of 25 looks like a child to me - years old.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d
Due to an unfortunate typo my forthcoming duel will consist of us firing gnus at ten paces.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d
Son: “I’m gay”

Dad: “Hi, I’m dad”

*they both smile and hug*

FIN
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d
In my experience, when someone says they're "straight talking", it really means they're a self-opinionated, insensitive and arrogant arsehole.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d
I bought a Bëëstë Bøïz wardrobe from Ikea and a bit was missing. They didn't believe me, but I successfully fought for my right to part E.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d
Personally, I think it's best if children aren't seen either.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d
I once got badly hurt by a boxer in the ring. I think you'll agree that's a particularly nasty place to be bitten by a dog.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 5d
I’m - I remember when you could only buy olive oil in a chemist’s for earache - years old.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 5d
There are lovely people, arseholes and everything in between amongst every ethnic group, religion and nationality. If you believe you’re better because of your ethnic group, religion or nationality, you’re definitely in the arsehole end of that spectrum.
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ihpower.bsky.social
Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 5d
According to autocorrect a lot of my colleagues are aunts.
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