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Ian Power

@ihpower.bsky.social

1.3K followers 160 following 2.7K posts

@IHPower on Twitter. Don’t take this shit too seriously. Unless I’m talking about Tories, I really do hate them that much.

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Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4h

“You do realise they're everywhere, poisoning our way of life with their strange ways and beliefs.”

"Immigrants?"

“No, Daily Mail readers.”

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 11h

I nearly married a Brazilian many years ago. That was a close shave.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 15h

If nothing else a Facebook account is a great way of reminding yourself why you don't make the effort to meet up with family and old friends anymore.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 16h

Last night I did a mash-up of Anthrax and The Vaccines. It sounded like The Cure.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

Those midlife crisis men who clog up the roads on their bicycles piss me off. I didn’t buy a Porsche convertible to be stuck behind those sad wankers.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

"Some of them aren't cunts", was the best I could come up with when asked to say something positive about colleagues in today’s team meeting.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

Numbers 1 to 9 of the most common sports injuries are to the legs, head or back. Ten is elbow.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

Shutting the fuck up is a very underrated pastime. More people should try it.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

I'm - anyone under the age of 25 looks like a child to me - years old.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 1d

Due to an unfortunate typo my forthcoming duel will consist of us firing gnus at ten paces.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d

Son: “I’m gay”

Dad: “Hi, I’m dad”

*they both smile and hug*

FIN

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d

In my experience, when someone says they're "straight talking", it really means they're a self-opinionated, insensitive and arrogant arsehole.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d

I bought a Bëëstë Bøïz wardrobe from Ikea and a bit was missing. They didn't believe me, but I successfully fought for my right to part E.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d

Personally, I think it's best if children aren't seen either.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 2d

I once got badly hurt by a boxer in the ring. I think you'll agree that's a particularly nasty place to be bitten by a dog.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d

I’m - I remember when you could only buy olive oil in a chemist’s for earache - years old.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d

There are lovely people, arseholes and everything in between amongst every ethnic group, religion and nationality. If you believe you’re better because of your ethnic group, religion or nationality, you’re definitely in the arsehole end of that spectrum.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d

According to autocorrect a lot of my colleagues are aunts.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d

Does anyone know if Hue & Cry are still looking for Linda? It's just that I've found her working at Asda's in Colchester.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 3d

Sperm banks don't like donations by post. Apparently.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d

My fusilli addiction is spiralling out of control.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d

Don’t spread it.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d

Is it weird to ask a lady to dress up as Mrs Doyle and get her to say “go on, go on, go on” repeatedly as you have sex?

Asking for a friend.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d

The Streets of Philadelphia is Bruce Springsteen's cheesiest song.

Ian Power @ihpower.bsky.social · 4d

I'm never drinking Welsh beer again. I kept wanting a leek during the night.