Ian Power
@ihpower.bsky.social
I, for one, am a great fan of Roman numeral puns.
The first day at my new job went like a dream. Unfortunately, it was the dream where I go to work and shit myself.
December 1, 2025 at 7:07 PM
The first day at my new job went like a dream. Unfortunately, it was the dream where I go to work and shit myself.
You’re never more than six feet away from someone holding a shop bought coffee.
December 1, 2025 at 12:50 PM
You’re never more than six feet away from someone holding a shop bought coffee.
Never buy too much rocket. It goes off quickly.
December 1, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Never buy too much rocket. It goes off quickly.
The best bit about becoming a grandparent must be looking at your son/daughter and thinking 'your turn now, let's see how you fucking like it!'
December 1, 2025 at 10:30 AM
The best bit about becoming a grandparent must be looking at your son/daughter and thinking 'your turn now, let's see how you fucking like it!'
A packet of crisps put my girlfriend in a coma. They were Smiths.
December 1, 2025 at 9:39 AM
A packet of crisps put my girlfriend in a coma. They were Smiths.
Someone told me there's a photo of a man who claims to be the last vampire in today's newspapers. I can't see it in The Mirror though.
December 1, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Someone told me there's a photo of a man who claims to be the last vampire in today's newspapers. I can't see it in The Mirror though.
59-years-old and still going out getting pissed and acting the fool like I did at 19. Fucking brilliant! I hope I'm still doing it when I’m 89.
November 30, 2025 at 5:55 PM
59-years-old and still going out getting pissed and acting the fool like I did at 19. Fucking brilliant! I hope I'm still doing it when I’m 89.
I think I'll skip church today.
November 30, 2025 at 11:18 AM
I think I'll skip church today.
I think we're due a short spell of bd wther.
November 30, 2025 at 9:07 AM
I think we're due a short spell of bd wther.
I was late for Passive Aggressive Club, but they were really good about it. They said they're always happy to hang around and wait for me to show up.
November 29, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I was late for Passive Aggressive Club, but they were really good about it. They said they're always happy to hang around and wait for me to show up.
My friends, Paul and Sarah, held a joint party in January for Chinese New Year and Burns Night, calling it Chinese-Burns Night. He wasn’t keen but she twisted his arm.
November 29, 2025 at 6:36 PM
My friends, Paul and Sarah, held a joint party in January for Chinese New Year and Burns Night, calling it Chinese-Burns Night. He wasn’t keen but she twisted his arm.
That’s a bit of luck! We’re in DFS and they’ve got a sale on.
November 29, 2025 at 12:12 PM
That’s a bit of luck! We’re in DFS and they’ve got a sale on.
Bilbo Baggins was once admitted to the wrong part of Middle Earth Hospital for a hernia operation. Orc ward.
November 29, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Bilbo Baggins was once admitted to the wrong part of Middle Earth Hospital for a hernia operation. Orc ward.
Sorry I said “it’s probably burning him” as your baby cried during his christening.
November 28, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Sorry I said “it’s probably burning him” as your baby cried during his christening.
Parents, prepare your children for social media by encouraging them to talk shite to imaginary friends.
November 28, 2025 at 11:33 AM
Parents, prepare your children for social media by encouraging them to talk shite to imaginary friends.
I've just seen a huge goldfish bowl. I wonder if he can bat as well.
November 28, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I've just seen a huge goldfish bowl. I wonder if he can bat as well.
You always get a decent 'lock in' at my local. It's a real Yale pub.
November 28, 2025 at 7:53 AM
You always get a decent 'lock in' at my local. It's a real Yale pub.
One of my colleagues reckons KFC buckets are for sharing. Fucking idiot.
November 27, 2025 at 7:03 PM
One of my colleagues reckons KFC buckets are for sharing. Fucking idiot.
Most people are nice enough but sadly, on a day to day basis, it's the cunts who make the biggest impact.
November 27, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Most people are nice enough but sadly, on a day to day basis, it's the cunts who make the biggest impact.
Hey lads, calling it “banter” doesn’t legitimise you being a rude arsehole. 👍
November 27, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Hey lads, calling it “banter” doesn’t legitimise you being a rude arsehole. 👍
I’ve been kicked out of Masochist Club. I hope they do it every week.
November 27, 2025 at 7:57 AM
I’ve been kicked out of Masochist Club. I hope they do it every week.
You know you're middle-aged when you nod approvingly at the quality of bin liners.
November 26, 2025 at 12:45 PM
You know you're middle-aged when you nod approvingly at the quality of bin liners.
I bet Nigel Farage hates Black Friday. But not in a hurtful or insulting way.
November 26, 2025 at 11:51 AM
I bet Nigel Farage hates Black Friday. But not in a hurtful or insulting way.
It's strange how all my relationships have been with women who roll their eyes a lot.
November 26, 2025 at 10:38 AM
It's strange how all my relationships have been with women who roll their eyes a lot.
I'm taking medication because of my kleptomania.
November 26, 2025 at 8:57 AM
I'm taking medication because of my kleptomania.