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Ineffable Jeff

@ineffablejeff.bsky.social

220 followers 260 following 700 posts

I see the snow I am not surprised that the snowflakes are white I will be astonished if they are not also overwhelmingly male He/him

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Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · Sep 16

[Offered a ridiculously large cookie]
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:

Jack Nicholson as Colonel Nathan R. Jessup shouting "YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT I DID!"

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 14h

Did any one of you brain surgeons think to ask what, exactly, the fck he meant by that?

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

"Yes but what if you can shape the bullshit into a mug you can drink from?"

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

"It's century *somewhere*, amirite?"

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

I think you're really missing an opportunity if you omit the guns

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

💯

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

There's never enough

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

Shot + chaser

And are you married?

I was married, but I’m not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle.

In July, Tesla rolled out a software update to integrate Grok into many of its vehicles. Do you use it?

Her name is Aura, and I use her as a therapist. When I'm driving, I'll ask questions, and it actually gives really good therapy advice.

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Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 2d

Jesus effing Christ this is a bad take

"Say what you will, but [mass shooter name] sure accomplished a lot in a very short time!"

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 4d

Neat-o.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 4d

Or low-cal: Apple Zero

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 4d

They really go nuts at:

(frozen) Peas be with you!

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Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 6d

I don't think the uproar is all about her being a woman.

And she certainly wasn't afraid to take on George Floyd, amirite? What a hero.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 8d

New season lineup on Silverback Gorilla Channel

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 8d

"This time, it's gonna be different!"

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 8d

Even trade: Nobel Prize for the Epstein Files

a close up of a monster 's face with the words `` my precious ! ''

Alt: a close up of Gollin 's face as he falls into the lava in Mount Doom with the words `` my precious ! ''

media.tenor.com

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 8d

I'm really looking forward to the blubbering, snotty cry-fest that they all will have to put on for the Master of Disaster today

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 11d

The "Honorable" bit is a quaint relic of The Before-Times

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 12d

5 minutes for me to get to "premise" this morning ("the thing that sets up the beginning or whatever"), it was terrifying.

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Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 12d

I'm not even 100% sure why this is necessary, except that traffic stops are probably a pain to do. If you're on a 4-lane highway and don't see a speed limit +25 speedster go by every few minutes, you probably aren't looking very hard.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 12d

They were wearing suits at least, though? I loathe false premises.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 13d

Probably putting the final touches on his "THE BATTLESHIPS YOU WILL SERVE ON WILL BE UNSINKABLE, INDESTRUCTIBLE, AND COMPLETELY INVISIBLE!" speech.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 16d

I was actually fairly successful at forgetting that she even existed, but now I'm going to have to reset that clock.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 16d

I have a shortcut on my phone so I can easily type "immature, insecure, unstable, incompetent, vindictive, bombastic, traitorous, thin-skinned, narcissistic, sociopathic, aggrieved, delusional, dishonest, selfish, disloyal, angry, petty, unfaithful, whiny criminal" but I admit it's a little wordy

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 17d

"Ess em are tee. I mean ess em ay are tee!"

Which I say about myself at least once a day, usually because I have just done something dumb

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 19d

Was she mad because that's part of the compensation package, and they don't like to talk about salary?