Ineffable Jeff
@ineffablejeff.bsky.social
I see the snow
I am not surprised that the snowflakes are white
I will be astonished if they are not also overwhelmingly male
He/him
I am not surprised that the snowflakes are white
I will be astonished if they are not also overwhelmingly male
He/him
Pinned
Ineffable Jeff
@ineffablejeff.bsky.social
· Sep 16
[Offered a ridiculously large cookie]
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
Great news for John Fetterman, who seems to be vying to be King of the Coal-Rollers of the Saturday night Wawa* parking lot crowd.
* or possibly Rutter's
* or possibly Rutter's
At a White House this afternoon, President Trump said he was terminating "ridiculously burdensome" fuel economy rules. It's part of a series of changes relaxing or eliminating rules promoting cleaner cars. n.pr/3KuPGQX
Trump administration rolls back fuel economy standards
At a White House this afternoon, President Trump said he was terminating "ridiculously burdensome" fuel economy rules. It's part of a series of changes relaxing or eliminating rules promoting cleaner cars.
n.pr
December 3, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Great news for John Fetterman, who seems to be vying to be King of the Coal-Rollers of the Saturday night Wawa* parking lot crowd.
* or possibly Rutter's
* or possibly Rutter's
I'm walkin' here, Charlie Brown
We Thought You Was a Toad, Charlie Brown
Is it safe, Charlie Brown?
November 24, 2025 at 3:51 AM
I'm walkin' here, Charlie Brown
Somebody get this guy some props
November 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Somebody get this guy some props
ATC: Flight Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six, please confirm.
PILOT: I don't wanna.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six you must confirm.
P: Don't make me.
A: Landing clearance requires confirmation.
P: No.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six?
P:
P: Tylenol causes autism
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six cleared to land
PILOT: I don't wanna.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six you must confirm.
P: Don't make me.
A: Landing clearance requires confirmation.
P: No.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six?
P:
P: Tylenol causes autism
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six cleared to land
November 11, 2025 at 2:31 PM
ATC: Flight Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six, please confirm.
PILOT: I don't wanna.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six you must confirm.
P: Don't make me.
A: Landing clearance requires confirmation.
P: No.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six?
P:
P: Tylenol causes autism
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six cleared to land
PILOT: I don't wanna.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six you must confirm.
P: Don't make me.
A: Landing clearance requires confirmation.
P: No.
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six?
P:
P: Tylenol causes autism
A: Kilo Alpha Three-Niner-Six cleared to land
"How many Oreos should we put in each sleeve?"
"Uh...thirteen?"
"Sounds great, do it!"
— some sociopaths at Nabisco
"Uh...thirteen?"
"Sounds great, do it!"
— some sociopaths at Nabisco
November 7, 2025 at 7:52 PM
"How many Oreos should we put in each sleeve?"
"Uh...thirteen?"
"Sounds great, do it!"
— some sociopaths at Nabisco
"Uh...thirteen?"
"Sounds great, do it!"
— some sociopaths at Nabisco
I must confirm that I am *not* hooked on a feeling, nor am I high on believing that you're in love with me.
I must confirm that when I get knocked down, I do *not* get up again, and you are in fact going to keeo me down.
I must confirm that my name is *not* Prince and I am *not* funky
November 4, 2025 at 10:24 PM
I must confirm that I am *not* hooked on a feeling, nor am I high on believing that you're in love with me.
Reposted by Ineffable Jeff
If you support Gavin Newsom, even in the slightest, even if it's just his AI slop social media posts, you're signaling you're as eager to get rid of trans people as the most rabid Trumpist. You just want it done with a frown instead of a laugh.
gavin newsom says he wants to pass legislation banning trans people from playing sports in california
October 28, 2025 at 5:39 PM
If you support Gavin Newsom, even in the slightest, even if it's just his AI slop social media posts, you're signaling you're as eager to get rid of trans people as the most rabid Trumpist. You just want it done with a frown instead of a laugh.
A single car approaches me as I signal and stop to make a left turn after it passes. It slows, eventually comes to a stop, flashes its lights, for absolutely no reason.
"Just to be nice," I guess. Idiotic.
"Just to be nice," I guess. Idiotic.
Ayo serious Question
Quote this with your biggest pet peeve about Driving
Quote this with your biggest pet peeve about Driving
September 25, 2025 at 2:07 AM
A single car approaches me as I signal and stop to make a left turn after it passes. It slows, eventually comes to a stop, flashes its lights, for absolutely no reason.
"Just to be nice," I guess. Idiotic.
"Just to be nice," I guess. Idiotic.
subtle downgrade a band
-turn a little to the left doctors
-turn a little to the left doctors
subtle downgrade a band
the great replacements
the great replacements
subtly downgrade a band
astray zeppelin
astray zeppelin
September 22, 2025 at 6:56 PM
subtle downgrade a band
-turn a little to the left doctors
-turn a little to the left doctors
Reposted by Ineffable Jeff
Dutch late night TV has its take
September 19, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dutch late night TV has its take
EPSTEIN PATH TO PROSPERITY
1. Groom young girls
2. Traffick them only to myself
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
1. Groom young girls
2. Traffick them only to myself
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
KENNEDY: Who if anyone did Epstein traffic these young women to other than himself?
KASH PATEL: Himself. There is no credible information -- none -- that he trafficked to other individuals. And the information we have is limited.
KASH PATEL: Himself. There is no credible information -- none -- that he trafficked to other individuals. And the information we have is limited.
September 16, 2025 at 7:18 PM
EPSTEIN PATH TO PROSPERITY
1. Groom young girls
2. Traffick them only to myself
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
1. Groom young girls
2. Traffick them only to myself
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
[Offered a ridiculously large cookie]
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
September 16, 2025 at 5:11 PM
[Offered a ridiculously large cookie]
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
ME: Should I eat this cookie?
ME: No.
ME: Did I eat this cookie?
ALSO ME:
Misery loves company.
Ignorance requires it.
Ignorance requires it.
September 16, 2025 at 4:07 PM
Misery loves company.
Ignorance requires it.
Ignorance requires it.
The Jackson
Bachman Overdrive
Nitty Gritty Dirt Guy
Bachman Overdrive
Nitty Gritty Dirt Guy
Make a band singular:
Maroon
Maroon
Make a band singular:
Millus Vanillus
Millus Vanillus
September 13, 2025 at 5:38 PM
The Jackson
Bachman Overdrive
Nitty Gritty Dirt Guy
Bachman Overdrive
Nitty Gritty Dirt Guy
I would Google "is leprosy contagious?"
August 30, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I would Google "is leprosy contagious?"
Misled Zeppelin
Wheeze
Slightly diminish a band: Minivan Halen
August 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Misled Zeppelin
I simply shorten this to "they can't be bangers" and pound that send button with confidence
"They can't all be bangers", I say reassuringly to myself as I hit send on my 11,000th consecutive non-banger
July 14, 2025 at 12:08 PM
I simply shorten this to "they can't be bangers" and pound that send button with confidence
These are national treasures, and must be protected at all costs.
The guys, too, I guess.
The guys, too, I guess.
Timeline cleanse: Alan Tudyk and Patton Oswalt holding/comparing/contrasting puppies at @comicpalooza.bsky.social.
June 22, 2025 at 4:19 PM
These are national treasures, and must be protected at all costs.
The guys, too, I guess.
The guys, too, I guess.
Reposted by Ineffable Jeff
I will never apologize for a post
June 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I will never apologize for a post
This is how they get you hooked: "first one's free"
Well, small update on this: I guess I’m buying a sailboat lol
I effortlessly resisted a free sailboat today, please clap
May 31, 2025 at 9:58 PM
This is how they get you hooked: "first one's free"
Rich kids have all the advantages. And fun, apparently.
Elon says he was punched in the face by his 5-year-old son.
May 30, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Rich kids have all the advantages. And fun, apparently.
"I Found What I'm Looking For (It Was In The Couch Cushions)"
Slightly ruin a song title. Thus:
"There Is a Light That Sometimes Goes Out."
"There Is a Light That Sometimes Goes Out."
May 28, 2025 at 8:17 PM
"I Found What I'm Looking For (It Was In The Couch Cushions)"
okay this is terrifying. A bit for me, but truly for many people I know. They'd easily fall for it.
The scammer is on the phone to you.
Their accomplice is on the phone to your bank, pretending to be you.
Your bank sends you the notification.
You accept, and scammers proceed to drain your account.
Full write up: shkspr.mobi/blog/2024/05...
🧵🔚
Their accomplice is on the phone to your bank, pretending to be you.
Your bank sends you the notification.
You accept, and scammers proceed to drain your account.
Full write up: shkspr.mobi/blog/2024/05...
🧵🔚
Bank scammers using genuine push notifications to trick their victims
You receive a call on your phone. The polite call centre worker on the line asks for you by name, and gives the name of your bank. They say they're calling from your bank's fraud department. "Yeah, r...
shkspr.mobi
May 3, 2025 at 6:55 PM
okay this is terrifying. A bit for me, but truly for many people I know. They'd easily fall for it.