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Jake the Quick

@jakethequick.bsky.social

39 followers 120 following 350 posts

He/Him I’ll never forget what he said to me “Anyways, that’s a 7 from the Bavarian Judge. Fetch me a weenie, Press-Boy.” I did, he ate it through his nose.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 3h

I need more Elsa Bloodstone too.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6h

“But we approved your pardon!”

That felt like the DM telling the player “You know, you passed that persuasion check” right after witnessing a fantastic bit of Needless Chaotic Stupid from the party.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6h

This is a bit how I felt seeing people come away from Superman saying g “Kindness is the new punk rock.” It’s no one thing but I feel like the pendulum is swinging.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 7h

I dunno, if more of these weirdos took a rock to the brain then they might have a Fred Flintstonesque change of personality.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 7h

In true D&D style, if there were to be a sequel all the same actors should play completely different characters with no explanation.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve been doing a monthly donation for a kit two years now. It’s not much, but I give what I can.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 2d

While I personally like the 2016 remake, I did feel like maybe they should have made the base premise that it was a new franchise that the ladies opened.

After all, the first movie had them talking about turning it into a franchise operation.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 2d

At some point he’s going to order a Mammoth Tank Rush on Venezuela’s Tiberium Harvester, isn’t he?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 4d

Foxy Shazam. They do some bangers.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 5d

When has a nation over relying on mercenaries ever worked out badly? Just because they inevitably wind up holding that nation hostage for more money?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

Commander Zapp Brannigan knows that Killbots have a preset kill limit. So he’ll just send in wave after wave of men until it’s met.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

Like Gandalf once said “Any story worth telling is worth embellishing.”

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

Well, it was with the leotard, but mostly I ran out of characters.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

While working at a hotel kitchen in downtown Portland in the 90’s I was having a smoke break.

I’m standing under an awning so my cig doesn’t get wet and I see a guy in a pink leotard and tutu ride by on a tall unicycle. He hops off, stows the leotard in a briefcase and goes to his bank job.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 7d

Gotta go with Scandal Savage. Her interactions with Bane being a particular highlight of that series.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 12d

Prudes of all sorts will do amazing BBB levels of mental gymnastics to avoid acknowledging that queer people exist, let alone are responsible for much of what they enjoy.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 12d

We’ve long had a reputation for “exuberant” protests. Vic Atiyeh sponsored a music festival at McIver State Park to get people out of town for Nixon.

Bush the Elder used to call Portland Little Beirut.

People drank food coloring to to force themselves to vomit red, white and blue for Clinton.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 12d

That was the Oregon GOP that posted it too. Our local GOP has been so insanely far right for so long that their favorite thing to do is accuse each other of being a bunch of Commie Preverts.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 13d

This is why we need a stronger Resurrection Men lobby. What’s next? Making it illegal to poison people staying at your inn so you can sell the corpse to universities?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 14d

The mayor should really listen to that councillor who is always screaming “BUILD CITY WALLS!!!”

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 14d

And Mrs Krabapple and Principle Skinner were in the closet making babies. And I saw one of the babies. And then, the baby looked at me.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 15d

Pretty much what I put in my French toast egg wash.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 16d

Nothing scarier than a monster who thinks he’s right with god.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 18d

That’s right propa Orky right there.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 19d

As a thoroughly mediocre, middle aged white man I appreciate people who try to help me expand my horizons. Anyone afraid of that, because it gives them the ick, are cowards. So keep on keeping on, it’s a necessary role and task, even if it is ultimately thankless.