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Jake the Quick

@jakethequick.bsky.social

39 followers 120 following 350 posts

He/Him I’ll never forget what he said to me “Anyways, that’s a 7 from the Bavarian Judge. Fetch me a weenie, Press-Boy.” I did, he ate it through his nose.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 21h

I’ve been doing a monthly donation for a kit two years now. It’s not much, but I give what I can.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 2d

While I personally like the 2016 remake, I did feel like maybe they should have made the base premise that it was a new franchise that the ladies opened.

After all, the first movie had them talking about turning it into a franchise operation.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 2d

At some point he’s going to order a Mammoth Tank Rush on Venezuela’s Tiberium Harvester, isn’t he?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 3d

Foxy Shazam. They do some bangers.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 4d

When has a nation over relying on mercenaries ever worked out badly? Just because they inevitably wind up holding that nation hostage for more money?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 5d

Commander Zapp Brannigan knows that Killbots have a preset kill limit. So he’ll just send in wave after wave of men until it’s met.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

Like Gandalf once said “Any story worth telling is worth embellishing.”

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

Well, it was with the leotard, but mostly I ran out of characters.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 6d

While working at a hotel kitchen in downtown Portland in the 90’s I was having a smoke break.

I’m standing under an awning so my cig doesn’t get wet and I see a guy in a pink leotard and tutu ride by on a tall unicycle. He hops off, stows the leotard in a briefcase and goes to his bank job.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 7d

Gotta go with Scandal Savage. Her interactions with Bane being a particular highlight of that series.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 11d

Prudes of all sorts will do amazing BBB levels of mental gymnastics to avoid acknowledging that queer people exist, let alone are responsible for much of what they enjoy.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 11d

We’ve long had a reputation for “exuberant” protests. Vic Atiyeh sponsored a music festival at McIver State Park to get people out of town for Nixon.

Bush the Elder used to call Portland Little Beirut.

People drank food coloring to to force themselves to vomit red, white and blue for Clinton.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 12d

That was the Oregon GOP that posted it too. Our local GOP has been so insanely far right for so long that their favorite thing to do is accuse each other of being a bunch of Commie Preverts.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 12d

This is why we need a stronger Resurrection Men lobby. What’s next? Making it illegal to poison people staying at your inn so you can sell the corpse to universities?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 13d

The mayor should really listen to that councillor who is always screaming “BUILD CITY WALLS!!!”

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 13d

And Mrs Krabapple and Principle Skinner were in the closet making babies. And I saw one of the babies. And then, the baby looked at me.

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 15d

Pretty much what I put in my French toast egg wash.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 15d

Nothing scarier than a monster who thinks he’s right with god.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 18d

That’s right propa Orky right there.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 18d

As a thoroughly mediocre, middle aged white man I appreciate people who try to help me expand my horizons. Anyone afraid of that, because it gives them the ick, are cowards. So keep on keeping on, it’s a necessary role and task, even if it is ultimately thankless.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 18d

But will you chance The Kentucky Fried Movie?

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 18d

I’m not exactly the biggest defender of the military industrial complex, but this is both stupid on the face of it, and just plain wrong.

Both at the same time.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 19d

Chasing a delivery guy on a bike who commuted the horrible crime of riding too close to them with melanated skin?

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Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 20d

I’m sitting here at work getting all misty over this.

Jake the Quick @jakethequick.bsky.social · 20d

I work at a semi conductor Fab in Gresham, and during one of our ramps a guy from Eugene started working here, several years ago. He lived in a van on the parking lot during the work week. He refused to move to Portland because it’s such “crime ridden hellhole.”

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