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jbexte

@jbexte.bsky.social

830 followers 700 following 460 posts

writer and artist. debut novel, “Being Human, Then Decaying”, available on deathlesspublishing.com see all my stuff here: https://linktr.ee/jbexte

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Pinned

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · Jan 5

i suppose i should probably post actual details of my book so i can pin them. that’s probably what someone who has their stuff together would do, right?

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 4h

beat bobby flay? i hope you mean beat him up because that guy sucks

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 22h

oh i’ll be coming clean either way

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 22h

out with the boys but i accidentally took a viagra should i tell them or play it cool

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 1d

lol yeah man they sure are

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 1d

i worked at SNL for a week a couple years ago, i got fired because i kept pitching a sketch called “Gay Mossad” and then getting mad and refusing to elaborate when they asked me to

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 1d

Keep Calm and Chive On 💯

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 1d

am i like losing my mind i swear to god arby’s did those steak nuggets earlier this year but everyone keeps saying it’s brand new

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 2d

marilyn monroe did what with her rib so she could suck her what??

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 2d

oh lip filler is for your mouth lips!

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 2d

wait bernie was a real guy who ran for president? i thought that was just a couple name for bert and ernie

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 3d

yeah i have a well-rounded diet!

starches: beer
protein: starbucks protein coffee
fats: stick of butter
fruits: you can’t call them that anymore, y/n
vegetables: sugar free energy drinks

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 3d

right? he doesn’t even believe that IM married to avril

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 3d

all timer instagram story from the guy who believes he’s married to avril lavigne and is firmly not doing a bit

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jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 4d

ahh you like hiking eh? that’s fun! my ex wife told me to take a hike once. have you been to colorado i heard the trails there are great. she kept the house yeah.

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 4d

oh you visited a “rage room” huh? buddy for some of us, every god damn room we walk into is a “rage room”

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 5d

uhhh one ticket to cookieville please!

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 6d

learning what clouds are is probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to humanity

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 6d

oh boy….thats former president george w bush in my dm’s commissioning shoe throwing fetish art….. :-/

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 6d

wow i started using my @britausa.bsky.social water filter and my brain fog went away just like that! i even started calling females “delicate dandelions” instead of “the enemy”

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 8d

no one even cares about the fray anymore

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 9d

okay ditto now transform into another friggin beer

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 9d

does anyone have hayley william’s phone number i have something i want to discuss with her

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 10d

i’m looking at stock photos of cookies and getting sooooo hungry #cookie

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 10d

what the hell is my book doing on this list???

jbexte @jbexte.bsky.social · 11d

she has a curious mind. she has a warm heart. she has an adventurous spirit. she has a kind soul. she has toes that stank a little bit.