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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou)

@johnmendelssohn.bsky.social

300 followers 550 following 520 posts

I am a two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Sarcasm. I reside on the southwestern tip of London, where I compose songs, take long walks along the Thames, and write six essays every week for johnmendelssohn.substack.com.

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 3h

johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/do-not-wat...

If you know what's good for you, you will read my essay about cognitive dissonance as it relates to Sofia Coppola's breathtakingly awful PRISCILLA, and then warn others!

Do NOT Watch "Priscilla" on Netflix. Or Anywhere Else

Cognitive Dissonance is the new silent killer!

johnmendelssohn.substack.com

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 2d

You’re going to read a lot of little satirical essays about President Don Sr.’s heartbreaking loss. But none will touch you as profoundly as this one! You will never be the same! open.substack.com/pub/johnmend...

"After What I Did for Gaza, They Bust My Balls Like This?"

Nice one, Norway. You've hurt his feelings.

open.substack.com

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 3d

If it worked for Caitlyn Jenner, it might work for you too!
johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/ask-your-d...

Ask Your Doctor If the Trans Ideology Is Right For You

I hate when people refer to movies as flicks — a lethal combination of flippancy and cuteness — but not quite as much as when they refer to writers as scribblers.

johnmendelssohn.substack.com

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 3d

If it worked for Caitlyn Jenner, it might work for you too!
johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/ask-your-d...

Ask Your Doctor If the Trans Ideology Is Right For You

I hate when people refer to movies as flicks — a lethal combination of flippancy and cuteness — but not quite as much as when they refer to writers as scribblers.

johnmendelssohn.substack.com

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 3d

Huh?

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 4d

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 4d

johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/a-spy-nove...

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 4d

Not every book one reads is authoritative, madam.

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 4d

Hard to say, Sally, as I've spent something like 48 hours back in my native USA in the last 10 years. I do suspect the inflated lips and huge false eyelash things are much more popular here in the UK.

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 4d

How do you know what I have or haven't read, darling?

John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 5d

Treat yourself to a brief respite from the accelerating horror! You deserve it! You are SUCH a good person deep down! I mean, sure, not everybody “gets” you. But those of us who do? OMG! johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/i-learn-th...

I Learn the Language of the Deportees, Years Ahead of Time!

At Orville Wright Junior High School in the early ‘60s, one had to study a foreign language.

johnmendelssohn.substack.com

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 5d

P.S. Let me take you away from all this.

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John Mendelssohn (thee / thou) @johnmendelssohn.bsky.social · 5d

Congratulations to you, madam. They say that Elvis's Graceland is a poor person's idea of a rich person's home. I have never been. In the meantime, johnmendelssohn.substack.com/p/i-learn-th...

I Learn the Language of the Deportees, Years Ahead of Time!

At Orville Wright Junior High School in the early ‘60s, one had to study a foreign language.

johnmendelssohn.substack.com