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John Roscoe

@johnroscoe.bsky.social

2K followers 1.1K following 3.1K posts

"It's not easy having a good time... even smiling makes my face ache." I take photographs and crack jokes; a meditative creative obsessed with dialogue. I was @JohnCRoscoe on Twitter. johnroscoe.wordpress.com

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · Feb 8

It's been a long week and you've all been very good, so I'm going to share — for the first time here on BlueSky — the ultimate Mrs. Peel #Caturday video.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
🔥CHARIOTS OF TREATS (sound up!)🔥

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2h

Seems to me paying an OPP officer to park by the roadside and watch cars go by for a hundred twenty five grand a year is... "less than fiscally prudent" when machines do that far more efficiently and for much less.

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 21d

"It's a cash grab!"

Oh my sweet summer child. Come, let me show you how much a dedicated police officer — trained in the application of *deadly force* in upholding the law! — is paid to poke a button, read a number and deliver a ticket that could have been sent through the mail...

Average salary, OPP = $125,104
https://www.ontariosunshinelist.com/positions/law-enforcement-officer

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 10h

Is there administrative mechanisms by which the other provincial / federal Conservatives can make the BC Conservatives stop using the word "Conservative" in their name? If so, use it.

Protect your brand, my dudes. These infighting backbiters are bonkers, but not *your* kinda bonkers.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 20h

"Who's the runner up?"
"Sir?"
"If that lady, whassername, suppose she, y'know, couldn't collect the prize — who's it go to instead?"
"Mr. President, I'm not sure the committee appoints a runn-"
"Never mind. Get the hell outta my office."
"Yes sir."
"Hello? Pete? Listen up, boy. I got a job for you."

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

"Oh, yes sir! Right away sir! Say, d'you suppose she might be lured into a fishing boat, sir?"

Pete Hegseth grimacing, his phone at his ear

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 20h

Not where I would have gone, but nobody asked me.

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · Jun 10

There's a "splendid pageantry yet earthy frankness" to the robes worn by Nandor the Relentless which I think would be more appropriate to a house of sober second thought.
Just a suggestion.

Nandor the Relentless in full length robe and mail.

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 21h

"YOU'RE WELCOME CANADA!"

Thanks, Ryan. We know it's a losing battle, but Pierre Poilievre will always be 100% behind you.

Ryan from Ottawa, occupying an intersection and flailing about madly with his middle fingers pointing skyward.

A tweet from Pierre Poilievre showing him marching with spiral-eyed malcontents and vowing to end *all* vaccine mandates.

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 22h

This puffball looks like a slow-mo jiffypop full of fungus. And here's a crowd of turkey tails raked like the audience in a movie theatre — altogether a very cinematic theme in the woods this #FungusFriday.
#macroPhoto #NaturePhotography #NaturePhotograph #Fungus #Mycology

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 23h

Turn a farm into parking lots & loading docks?
• Sure, happens all the time — the amount of arable land in Ontario is reduced by 319 acres *every day.*

Turn a parking lot into a farm?
• That never happens. Once it's gone, it's gone forever.

Ontario: it's big, but the part that grows crops? Small.

An illustration showing farmland vs. land for other purposes in Ontario.
Source:
https://www.foodfocusguelph.ca/post/are-farm-numbers-declining-across-ontario

"Ontario loses 319 acres of arable land every day"
Source:
https://ontariofarmlandtrust.ca/2022/07/04/ontario-losing-319-acres-of-farmland-every-day/ [July, 2022]

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 23h

Kind of malfunctioning metaphor, really. The wonderful thing about literal bubbles is their ephemerality; their wonderful lack of physical substance relative to their aesthetic qualities.

This is more like a slowly accumulating pile of dynamite discovered by the light of a lit match.

While E. Coyote discovers a store of dynamite by the light of a lit match.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

"Zzz. Zzz. Zz-[snort] What the... where..."
"Hey, hey. Easy partner."
"[yawn] How long have I been-"
"You kinda trailed off a couple hours ago, buddy."
"Damn. [yawn] Investigating Doug Ford is... exhausting!"
"I hear that. Well, let's call it a day, shall we?"
"Strippers and draft beer?"
"Hooray!"

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

Booyah!

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

"Oh, yes sir! Right away sir! Say, d'you suppose she might be lured into a fishing boat, sir?"

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

Gretzky, 1991:
"Sure they're Canadian — the asbestos comes from Quebec!"

Gretzky, 2025:
"My wife says it tastes fine — if you drink real quick."

Gretzky shilling Pro Stars cereal in the 1990s.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

Yes. And "Norway" doesn't pick the winners; it's just where the committee meets.

It's like Buster Bluth wrecking the kitchen because he's mad at the maid and he thinks that's where she lives.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

"Oh, yes sir! Right away sir! Say, d'you suppose she might be lured into a fishing boat, sir?"

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

"Oh, I *know* it doesn't sound like much to you, your honor, but that quart of frozen strawberries was the beginning of the unraveling of discipline on my ship! And what follows? Insubordination? Dereliction of duty? Mutiny? Order *must* be maintained!"

Humphrey Bogart as Captain Queeg in The Caine Mutiny (1954) is on the witness stand, fiddling with those blasted figetty balls of his.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 1d

Ernst Stavro Blofeld's abundant misanthropy was held in check only by an abiding affection for both hard currency and his cat. Were it not for either, Blofeld would have been a less transactional, more nihilistic Bond villain unmotivated by remuneration or cute cat videos. In this essay, I will....

Ernst Stavro Blofeld, as played by Donald Pleasance.

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Reposted by John Roscoe

Your daily John Waters screenshot @johnwatersbot.bsky.social · 2d

What's wrong with these children of today?

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

Is there an argument to be made for re-shaping how beer is sold and liquor bottles collected in Ontario?
• Maybe.

Should we skip the discussion part and just shake things up without planning ahead?
• No, that's irrespon-

Ok, let's drop over *half a billion* to do it right bloody now.
• WTF, Doug?

As more Ontario Beer Store sites close, the real hangover may be over recycling the empties | CBC News

Empty Beer Store locations are filling with new tenants, from restaurants to pet shops — but no one seems to want to take Ontario's 1.6 billion empty containers.

www.cbc.ca

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

"We were involved, sorta, but it wasn't, like, a direct hit."

Reminds me of the story of Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 eleven years ago. Russia was involved, sure, but the *real* responsibility lies with those "wrong people" to whom Russia gave airliner-stopping missiles.

Russian President Putin said that Ukraine bore responsibility for the incident which happened in its territory, which he said would not have happened if hostilities had not resumed in the south-east of Ukraine.[9][315][316] At the end of July, State Duma deputy Ilya Ponomarev said in an interview for Die Welt that the separatists had shot down the airliner by mistake and that Putin now realised he had supplied the weapon to the "wrong people".[317] The Danish Institute for International Studies has pointed out to the similarities of Russian reaction to the downing of Korean Airlines flight KAL-007 in 1983 where the USSR initially denied any involvement.
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malaysia_Airlines_Flight_17

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

Who are the remaining one in fi-i-I should've known it was those guys.

A graph from Frank Graves showing that 41% of Conservatives approve of Donald Trump, 2nd only to members of the PPC

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

Put the toddler on a back seat leash so's they can pet the dog:

Popular Mechanics 1935 burlap dog sack carries Rover in a bag mounted to the outside of the car on hooks that hang on the open window frame.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

A fluorescent light flickers to reveal a long, low-ceilinged windowless room. Rows of shelves run lengthwise and line the walls; mason jars, carefully labeled by date, fill nearly all the shelves.

"At last," says The Collector, "at last."

Canada Healthwatch 🍁 @canadahealthwatch.ca · 2d

10K toenail clippings needed for Canadian study on potential lung cancer risk https://globalnews.ca/news/11469664/lung-cancer-study-radon-gas-toenails-calgary/

𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀 ⇢ CanadaHealthwatch.ca 🍁

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Reposted by John Roscoe

Dr Nili Kaplan-Myrth, MD PhD @nilikm.bsky.social · 2d

That’s a wrap for me. Now I switch from MD to patient. A locum will cover my family medicine clinic while I have surgery and deal with whatever is next.

Post-menopausal women, speak with your MD if you bleed. Uterine cancer is suspected until proven otherwise. I hope sharing this helps others.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

Some people retire and they mellow like fine wine;
others run their luck dry, lose their gig and then age like something that rolled under the fridge when the groceries were being put away.

John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

"Who should we call to represent Conservatives in a committee on National Security?"
"Well, that calls for an experienced statesman; somebody who would never invent evidence to smear a reporter and settle an old grudge."
"How about Chris 'Lock Her Up' Alexander?"
"Or we could get him, yeah good."

Headline: "'Lock her up' chant is srtike three for Tory Hopeful Chris Alexander: Hebert" from Toronto Star, Dec. 6, 2016.

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John Roscoe @johnroscoe.bsky.social · 2d

Found this shy moth in the corner on the outside of my window, so I tried firing the flash remotely, from t'other side of the glass. Click to zoom in!🔍

Dig that furry stole she's wearing — it's sweater weather, alright.
#MacroPhoto #Translucence #Insect #NaturePhotographer