Julia Clement
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juliaclement.bsky.social
Julia Clement
@juliaclement.bsky.social
55 followers 68 following 890 posts
If you like my memes, feel free to share, either here or elsewhere. Just keep my credits. To see more, follow me. Auckland based comedian, playwright & comedy producer.
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The ultimate in #fastFood, the Heisenburger.

You can either know where it is or how fast you're eating it.
I saw them at Baker's Delight this afternoon and we haven't even had Labour Day gruel or Guy Fawkes bangers yet.
Don't say "Homeopathic", call it what it is "Homeopathetic"
What's the best thing about pulled pork?

You know the pig died happy.
Let's hope it's OK. I can see it's not identical but that library looks a lot like the one in Pt Chev that's roof leaked in a bad storm and when they tried remedial work they discovered there had been leaks for years & a lot of rot in the wood. Demolished in 2024.
Jokes are like #babies.

Everyone loves them but nobody wants to see them get made.
#PontiusPilot was a comedian.

The Bible says he nailed it.
Unless you are talking about the CIA endorsed overthrow and murder of Chile's President, Salvador Allende, on 11 September 1973 when it would be hitting the presidential palace.
Safety First: Always web surf between the flags.

#WebSurfing #WebSafety
The coalition of cruelty strikes again.
This pâtissière is a caricature of my wife, Tessa Clement, from when she had her own pâtisserie business. Before that she was a chef.
I'm writing some new gags on #centipedes.

I'm sure this idea's got legs.
The #Earth may not be #flat but my bike's rear #tyre is.
I'm just waiting for Peters to tell us that all we need is a good selection of herbal remedies. :(
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Agreed to have a battle;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee
Had spoiled his lovely asset sale.
Just then flew down a monstrous Luxon,
As evil as a tar-barrel;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their quarrel.
I once lived in an apartment with a Smeg #washing_machine.

It worked well but to wash my underwear I needed to carefully clean the bowl first.
I looked up #cormorants and #shags on Wikipedia.

Seems the only difference is cormorants lack crests and the crested birds just want to shag.
I’m convinced #AI stands for “Artificial Incompetence."
Why did the #chicken cross the toad?

Because it was a poor typist!
No need to bulk buy #toiletPaper.

Unwind it to get more than one wipe per roll.
#Caesar said "Veni, vidi, feci sem" (I came, I saw, I made #salad)
Why do #pilot's #uniforms still look like #military officer uniforms from the 1940s?
I've just realised.

#Butter really doesn't melt in #vegans' mouths.