Author | Lightnews

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Sep 7

He’s just going places and eating bread. Just bread.

Except for one episode when he goes to Wisconsin and eats cheese.

Sounds chaotic. But you know I’m in.

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Sep 7

I’m excited that I just heard about the newest entry into my favorite genre of streaming shows with old man actors traveling around the world to eat food and it’s another of my faves, Tony Shalhoub. It’s called ‘Tony Shalhoub Breaks Bread.’ These shows just keep getting more and more specific. 1/2

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Sep 2

Andy: So, you excited for your new school year to start tomorrow?

Me: I’m standing in the kitchen, ‘toasting’ marshmallows on our gas cooktop using a fork. What do you think?

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Aug 29

In light of all of the announcements by last year’s SNL cast members, I’d like to officially announce that I too will not be appearing on SNL next season.

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Aug 29

Why do I keep referencing Stephen King when talking about The Thursday Murder Club?

boxd.it/aTGoSZ

A ★★★ review of The Thursday Murder Club (2025)

I might be imagining this but I thought I’d once heard a quote from Stephen King about how he feels about movie adaptations of his books. It went something like this: If people who’ve read the book l...

boxd.it

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Aug 23

I’m here to motivate you to go to the gym. #gymrat #wegovy #workout #over50women #over50fitness

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Aug 16

One time we went to a Mets game and a Beatles concert broke out

#Mets #citifield #beatles #cantbuymelove #1964thetribute

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jun 25

(3/3) so that I could pretend that David Sedaris was sitting next to me on the couch reading it to me.

It worked.

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jun 25

and read it aloud to no one, in my empty living room, using my best slightly southern accent, pausing strategically between just the right words, and using expressive intonation and proper stretching of syllables (2/ )

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jun 25

Earlier this year, I listened to a collection of David Sedaris essays read by the author.

Today, I opened the latest issue of The New Yorker, discovered a new David Sedaris essay, and tried to read it. I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph without being totally distracted so I went back (1/ )

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jun 23

Me: That line in the Counting Crows song when he says, “She has trouble acting normal when she’s nervous,” really hits deep. I totally get that.

Husband: I’d say that you have trouble acting normal all the time.

#ThanksHoney

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jun 23

As she handed me my iced coffee, the barista said, “Stay cool!” and it took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that she wasn’t recognizing my awesomeness but was warning me about the excessive heat warning in NY.

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Apr 18

Reimagine a nursery rhyme as written by a famous author. Here’s how I think David Sedaris’ Itsy Bitsy Spider might sound.

#diymfa

Itsy-Bitsy

In a creative writing class about narrative voice, the assignment was to rewrite a nursery rhyme, borrowing the voice of a famous writer. Here’s how I think David Sedaris would have written T…

thelauriland.wordpress.com

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Apr 11

How is it possible that Melissa Etheridge isn’t in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame yet? Her songs and performances are a master class ❤️

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Mar 28

Spring is here!
#spring #cherryblossoms

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Mar 7

Is this the perfect metaphor for our current Circumstances, or what?

thehill.com

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Mar 4

2/ ..it’s kind of like if someone made a movie with a possibly excellent story and performances but that was 3+ hours long, demonstrating the inability to write a tight story and people tuned out and a fraction of the film-going audience ended up seeing your masterpiece. Oh wait.

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Mar 4

The issue with Adrian Brody’s speech wasn’t merely the length, it was the arrogance and self-centeredness that he felt that he could take whatever amount of time he wanted to because he wanted to. And people tuned out what he was saying. It’s kind of like 1/

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Reposted by LauriLand

mweinstock.bsky.social @mweinstock.bsky.social · Feb 15

Portuguese editorial cartoonist Zez Vaz reaches back to Tiananmen Square to call on American defiance.

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Feb 13

Ken Jennings, discussing that the Billy Joel category wasn’t going well on Celebrity Jeopardy tonight:

“The ratings are tanking in Long Island right now.”

All of Long Island, in unison:

“ON Long Island!!!

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jan 29

I liked it a lot, especially the performances! (But don’t watch if your kids are in the room. Like even if they’re grown-ass adults. Very porny)

boxd.it/8Ffb6n

#anora

A ★★★½ review of Anora (2024)

Some people have compared this to Pretty Woman because of the sex-worker-turned-Cinderella thing. But honestly, that would be like saying that Jaws and Finding Nemo are similar because they both have ...

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jan 27

“A cross between A Chorus Line and Survivor, Conclave follows the process of picking a new pope after the old one dies.

Priests are messy.”

Find out the REAL reason I gave this movie four stars.

#conclave #oscars

boxd.it/8DNo5R

A ★★★★ review of Conclave (2024)

Backstabbing, cheating, broken vows, manipulating votes. A movie ripped from contemporary US history? No silly, it’s the Catholic Church! A cross between A Chorus Line and Survivor, Conclave follows t...

boxd.it

LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jan 25

It just surprised me that you’d call something standard in another culture ‘wrong.’ Wrong really does imply bad. Just a reflection on whether culture should/shouldn’t be judged.

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jan 25

I know that your saying it’s spelled ‘wrong’ is prob an extension of your original joke, and reading your bio, we definitely see eye to eye on a lot. But I’m thinking you wouldn’t note spelling differences in other cultures as ‘wrong’ when they’re standard. The shade toward US is so curious to me! 😁

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LauriLand @lauriland.bsky.social · Jan 25

If they spelled organization with an ‘s,’ it was most certainly not an American though.

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