Author | Lightnews

Jasmine

@missjasmine.bsky.social

280 followers 340 following 1.4K posts

Side Eye Jedi Master. TLC reality TV escapist. Daily victim of autocorrect. https://benable.com/jasminegabrielle In general- I’m a work of art and you’re lucky to have me.

benable.com

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Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 1d

The way “gooder than a bitch” simply cannot be topped as the prime descriptive phrase when you get a childhood comfort food EXACTLY right.

Do the kids still use this?

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 2d

Ok- not just me. The only reason I finished Dexter is hatred for Debra

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 2d

Watching #Weapons is reminding me that I STILL have not gone back to finally watch the end of #Ozark

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Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 2d

Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 3d

So let’s see what #Weapons is hittin fa

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 6d

The way my toxic relationship with #Kroger pickup doesn’t need to be STUIDIED , it needs a RESTAINING ORDER is truly remarkable.

How my bread, a can is tomatoes and carton of broth we’re supposed to be in the same bag for the FOURTH time - Mind blowing!

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 7d

PLEASE explain what post of Mormon, Latter Day Saints or other does not clearly outline the “fuck that” guidelines?!?

#heretic

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 7d

I will say I’ve only experienced Catholic childhood education & Pet Semetary. that said- anything resurrecting that ain’t Jesus is very clearly not to be successful in my mind. Blueberries or not.

God will understand.
#heretic

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 7d

CREEP?!?

Oh no- you will not be ruining this for me. whatever that is, it’s not breathing before we get to “..but I’m a”

Then again, I wouldn’t have left the monopoly room, so I’m clearly not the target demographic.

#heretic

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 7d

Please understand, I have thought Hugh grant was a demon from TIME.
Lights off?
Cool.
Castration by letter opener will be entered into the record.

Why are these hoes stalling?!?! #heretic

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 7d

Please understand, if you tell me the only way to get out of your house safely is to play monopoly-I will be leaving - be it in the am OVER your body or right now THROUGH your body. Calmly. With order- but it will be happening #heretic

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 8d

Community dick is the most popular flavor

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Reposted by Jasmine

🇬🇾🗽Sydette The Dreaded Gorgon🗽🇬🇾 @blackamazon.bsky.social · 8d

It's hard for Dems to catch racist subplots because they don't respect their Black base ( and that includes Black leadership see Booker ), ignore their Black colleagues, and don't recognize racism as a hard line they need for national...

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Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 8d

Get off my feed!!!

*pops aleve *

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 9d

Oooh Elizabeth is manipulating the HELL out of Yara. Who knows what Loren actually said/didn’t say- but we’ve watched Elizabeth and Andrei deflect too many times to trust that shit. #90DayFiance

Jasmine @missjasmine.bsky.social · 13d

Seeing Matthew clean and make sure things are perfect for Greta before her arrival is so refreshing. The history of expecting that the woman moving is there to take care of resident or that the resident is doing her a favor has been infuriating #90DayFiance #90DayFianceTheOtherWay