Brownie Otter θ∆ @ Roadtrip!
@otterbrownie.bsky.social
1.2K followers 960 following 3.7K posts
Otter therian who plays board games, snugs, streams on Twitch, teaches programming, and more! 30, he/him, single, poly, gray ace, lives in Cincinnati, looking for a new place to live (and roommates).
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otterbrownie.bsky.social
Seeing Republican congresspeople start to voice concern over the prices of healthcare, AI taking over jobs, etc, is interesting since they're the reason we're not making any progress in that regard. Instead we're manufacturing fake outrage over problems that aren't actually problems.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I've learned it's never worth it expend effort to keep people who always have one foot out the door, ready to bolt and leave you behind if you don't satisfy their every demand. Much better to just move onto the people who naturally like you and stay around despite hardships.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Thinking about my dream house.

Walls and walls of board games with a large table to play them at. Big fatfur friendly couch. Giant bed filled with plushies. Kitchen stocked with yummy baked goods. Plenty of game consoles.

All it needs is some playful snuggly furs!
otterbrownie.bsky.social
And the NSFW profile. Again I feel like a letdown but people have to know what they're getting into.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Added a bit more to my barq profile, I think this says a bit more about what I'm looking for and hopefully people get a better idea of who I am. May result in less people approaching me, but hopefully a higher percentage approaching me for the right reasons.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I feel exactly the same in this regard. People approach me in ways based on my pics here that feel unnatural to me, and I feel weird asking for an emotional connection first. Can only assume it's the same for you.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I buy a lot of board games but all things considered, with the hours of fun I get out of it, it's a pretty cost effective hobby. The worst thing is definitely the space it takes up, if not for that I'd feel no remorse buying them.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Going forward, all my Twitch revenue will be spent on other streamers, or Twitch Turbo for myself. If you want to support me directly (definitely not an obligation ever) the best way would probably be getting me a game on my Steam wishlist (also not needed, I have too many games lol).
otterbrownie.bsky.social
So I was planning on removing myself from the Twitch affiliate program since I have an income limit. But I discovered a new feature that lets you spend your Twitch revenue on Twitch instead of getting it paid out so we'll try that?
otterbrownie.bsky.social
New life mission: I wanna actively debunk the awful things that therapists say to depressed people. Because then those things trickle down to social pressures as well, and it's not fair. People that are already suffering are gaslit into suffering more.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Maybe all those pieces of fiction displayed people with inner demons were just an allegory for mental illness. Because it very much feels like I have a dark side that many are scared of, but a select few people can get through and still appreciate both parts of me.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I think I want to do a better job of fighting to stay close to the people that actually want to be there with me. There's so few of them in this world, I can't afford to let any of them go.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
The amount of mental gymnastics I teach myself just to stay somewhat stable day to day is insane actually. I wonder if this is what therapy was supposed to be like?
otterbrownie.bsky.social
So since it seems I'm pretty likely going to MFF... who wants to be on the list of people I reach out to snug? Book your spot now!
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Somehow driving 8 hours through the plains of Nebraska felt like a longer drive than 12 hours of mountains and canyons from Vegas to Denver. I guess a way less interesting drive?
otterbrownie.bsky.social
People think I'd be more needy in real life than online, but in reality I'm very easygoing IRL, often to my detriment because I hide my sadness for fear of upsetting anyone.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Couldn't agree more! I had a feeling but I wasn't sure if that was reality.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Felt so much... I try, and I don't necessarily focus on just that, but I don't understand how it comes so easily for some people.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
It's kind of a ridiculous thing to suggest someone wouldn't want to get better, and even more to say I don't when I say that I do. I want no part of being miserable, it's just that I don't see a viable path to get better. There's really nothing I can do.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
Well then you'd think therapy would work then, but no, they all say very basic things I've tried 1000 times and get mad when I explain I've done those to oblivion already.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
The only thing that could make me feel better is having people around but there isn't any hope of that as I've struck out with every location and furry community I've tried, and keep repelling people away.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
30+ meds (one worked but doesn't make me happy, just not miserable), 20+ therapists, 2 hospitals, TMS, and ketamine treatment all failed. Doctors have given up helping me. Haven't had a reason to live in almost 10 years.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I just wish all those people that stay "I'd be hurt if you left" actually wanted to offer a solution. People can help a lot more than they ever know.
otterbrownie.bsky.social
I'm asking if you want me to, but I think the answer is already clear...

Belly loom YCH from @stealthystripes.bsky.social!