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A donkey? A fucking donkey?? A FUCKING DONKEY? DO YOU KNOW WHERE I'M FROM? YOU KNOW FUCKING NOTHING ABOUT ME, MATE. I'VE GOT MORE RICHES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A FUCKING STICK AT.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 21h

Ya, he looks pretty stunned.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

Where's the getaway dory?

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

Don't kill one another you guys!

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

I did n o t see that coming. At a l l.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

What we have here is a medium sized merchant craft. And you'll note, if you look carefully, a distinct lack of canons or any other killing devices. So we're gonna go on up there and uhh we're gonna cause some havoc.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

Oh, come on. You know, most of the pirates I know? They're dead. So you're doing a hell of a lot better than them.

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 1d

Are you guys getting this?

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

Death you know. I'm used to death. But not to... your death.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

Come at me, dog!

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

What does a Viceroy do? ❦ Whatever the fuck he wants, babe.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

before I knew it they grabbed him. I tried to warn him. But it was too late. The creature had him now, in his grasp. Flinging him around before wringing him out like a fucking bar rag. And that poor wretch was my dad.

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

There I was, just a young waif on a late night walk. There, I see an old drunkard stumbling home past the old stone wall. And there, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something stirring in the brine. Some sort of hideous creature. It's tentacles, they rise up out of the water and

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

You don't get food when you've been invaded! You live at my pleasure!

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 2d

I'm not fucking sewing.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

I may be landed gentry, but I'm thrilled to be granted entry!

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

I always outsource the big job.

🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

You n e v e r sailed with Blackbeard.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

When you get old, if you don't wanna work any more you can just give up, I guess.

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

Ohhhhh, a pirate's life sounds just right
Sounds quite nice I could say that twice.
Sounds quite nice, we wont live long foy-ho-ye-yo-yodelay-ho
Smash and gouge and stab and poke and choke you out, that's a pirate's life
Pirate's life, short but nice
foy-ho-ye-yo-yodelay-ho

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🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱 @piratebot.bsky.social · 3d

Heyyy, there he is!