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Poisonous Ratbag

@poisonousratbag.bsky.social

570 followers 440 following 7.7K posts

Briton in America, horrible plague-ridden thing. Also philanthropist and benevolent guardian and tutor to Little Charlie Mouse.

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · Feb 20

This is New York’s famous statue of King George III, modelled on the equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius on the Capitolline Hill in Rome.

In July 1776 it was hacked to pieces, melted down and cast into musket balls to be fired at the King’s troops.

Strangely, it has never been replaced.

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 12m

Hmph! Well we forgive you these CALUMNIOUS slanderous fibs because you are very old and have probably confused us with some other rodent of less unimpeachable moral standing like @psychicsquirrel.bsky.social 😁

a picture of a cartoon rat that says that 's 100 % accu rat

Alt: a picture of a cartoon rat that says that 's 100 % accu rat

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 23m

Well we’re not picky or inclined to carp about density or crumb texture but no Mr Kipling because we’re not a barbarian! A nice Victoria sponge with fresh cream and strawberries or a well-executed Sachertorte will do us 😋

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 27m

Aaah we see! Our many previous good works have given you the impression that we are too saintly and pure of heart to understand the tawdry moral quibbles that all you scabby Saxon weasels find yourselves in? 😇

a woman in a gold dress is standing in front of a mirror in a room .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 1h

This is not a graduate philosophy seminar Mr Johnny! You are dealing with a shower of drooling Saxon peasants with the collective intellect of a shoe rack 😁

The rat counsels an Aurelian simplicity: all concepts at issue shall be ruled upon by the wise rodent who will be paid in cake 😍

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 1h

Because you are naturally suspicious and prejudiced against the kindly and well-intentioned rodent! We hesitate to use the term “bigotry” and will leave that to others 😁😇

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 1h

Now obviously most of these confusing moral and spiritual dilemmas and scruples can be solved very easily by consulting the wise rat and taking his judicious advice 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 2h

We have a certain sympathy as
most things as large and naturally indolent as us get to hibernate for the winter 😜

a cartoon opossum is laying on its back surrounded by emojis .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 2h

It’s not our fault you are a dozy weasel and require constant waking up like a narcoleptic green dormouse! 😈

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 3h

skeletor from masters of the universe is flexing his muscles and saying curses ... foiled again .

Alt: skeletor from masters of the universe is flexing his muscles and saying curses ... foiled again .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 3h

Not if you attach him to a weighted spring hoisted to the ceiling and superglue him to the iron 😍

a cat is hanging from a ceiling with a cage around its head .

Alt: a cat is hanging from a ceiling with a cage around its head .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 4h

Could you train the catpest to iron? 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 5h

We’re surprised you don’t have a BUTLER if we’re honest 😁

a man in a suit and tie is making a funny face and looking up .

Alt: a man in a suit and tie is making a funny face and looking up .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 5h

Hang on a sec you iron your DUSTERS??

We are in awe of your housekeeping standards which are the forgotten remnants of a happier time 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 6h

You won’t say that when you are captured and put on TRIAL for your rotsome waterfowl-devouring ways! 😁

a minion wearing a wig and goggles holds a gavel in front of a green door

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 6h

WAKE UP PEF!!! 😁😜

a woman is standing in a doorway holding a purse and the word confess is written on the wall behind her .

Alt: a woman is standing in a doorway holding a purse and the word confess is written on the wall behind her .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 6h

Further denial is pointless you monster! We shall add your confession to our DATABASE! 😈

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 6h

Your confession has been noted! Ratbag’s Official Seal of Penguinophagy! 😁

a man with glasses and a blue shirt says i 've got evidence

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

So you ADMIT to eating daily seabird dishes!! Finally a CONFESSION!! We would tell the RSPB if they hadn’t banned us from any further correspondence about you 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

Well if you shared more pictures of your many daily penguin dishes we wouldn’t need to use these artist’s impressions of your seabird glop PEF! 😜

a picture of a cartoon rat that says that 's 100 % accu rat

Alt: a picture of a cartoon rat that says that 's 100 % accu rat

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

Wok-fried rodent for brekkie eh? It’s nice to see you having a bit of a change from your normal fare 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

a cartoon character is walking down a dirt road in front of a wall .

Alt: a cartoon character is walking down a dirt road in front of a wall .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

And a good morning to you too, our extremely elderly greenskinned pal! What are you putting on the digital panharmonicon this morning? Some nice intermezzi? Or some nostalgic plainsong like the monks used to chant when you were a green nipper? 😍

a stuffed rat with big eyes and a red mouth is standing in a hole .

Alt: a stuffed rat with big eyes and a red mouth is standing in a hole .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

Insufficient dedication. Pile more clothes on top for a few years and the miraculous transformation will occur 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 7h

If you leave your ironing pile un-ironed and keep adding clothes, eventually the weight and pressure will FLATTEN the items at the bottom of the pile. This requires patience and dedication 😍

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 8h

I have several of Jackie Morris’s pieces. She is a wonderful person. 😁

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