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Poisonous Ratbag

@poisonousratbag.bsky.social

570 followers 440 following 7.7K posts

Briton in America, horrible plague-ridden thing. Also philanthropist and benevolent guardian and tutor to Little Charlie Mouse.

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · Feb 20

This is New York’s famous statue of King George III, modelled on the equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius on the Capitolline Hill in Rome.

In July 1776 it was hacked to pieces, melted down and cast into musket balls to be fired at the King’s troops.

Strangely, it has never been replaced.

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 13m

I have several of Jackie Morris’s pieces. She is a wonderful person. 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 24m

These may have been your first gramophone records but many decades before that you must have bought perforated scrolls for the PANHARMONICON in your long-forgotten youth PEF!! 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 15h

Yes! We were very penitent but now we have unfortunately RELAPSED to our bad rodent ways! 😁

a baby wearing a shirt that says " the wildes " is drinking from a cup

Alt: a baby wearing a shirt that says " the wildes " is drinking from a cup

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 16h

Don’t hold back Bardy. Tell us what you really think 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 16h

Are you a bit of a hoarder? 🧐

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 16h

Noooo he has far better personal hygiene than us! But thanks for the reminder PEF! The sun is well over the yardarm and tis time for a little drinkie 😍

a man with a beard is drinking from a glass of water .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 16h

Ah I’m sorry Lady B.

I just can’t cook for myself when I’m on my own, not even a scrambled egg - dinner will be grapes and Monster Munch and any washing up will be left until a few hours before Mrs Ratbag returns 🙄

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 16h

I threw four boxes of ancient cabling out when we emigrated that I’d been hoarding since the early 90s. Never once needed anything but YOU NEVER KNOW! 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 17h

One of our great heroes 😍

a picture of a rat drinking from a red cup with the name van-pyk.tumblr written on the bottom

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 18h

We are sorry for this rough day you have had and are sorry you are plagued by unwelcome disease-bearing presences which we thoroughly deplore 🥶

a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and overalls making a funny face .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 19h

It’s for your own good fiend! You listen to Dr Ratbag! We’ll soon kill those rotsome microbes or at least make them too pissed to infect anything 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 20h

Well mix you up a nice Ratbag Sling which will drive any nasties you have picked up away forever! Now where did we put the meths? 🧐

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 20h

We didn’t know you were so wise in the ways of rodent medicine PEF! No germ will want to live in you after a couple of our cocktails 😇

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 20h

Anyway if you do start to feel the onset of scabby pathogens you just let us know and we’ll consult Grandma Ratbag’s Book of Remedies and prescribe CURES 😁

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

That’s OK you can be a purely decorative addition and cast a gentle green glow over our tableau 😍

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

A perfectly legitimate response PEF! We are quite bitey too 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

That’s OK you can live on the lawn with the other undead 😈

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

Then your way forward is clear!! 😍

And frankly we are shocked that you didn’t have your usual hunting attire with you! What if you had happened across a tasty moorhen or seagull? Eh? 😇

a stuffed rat with big eyes and a red mouth is standing in a hole .

Alt: a stuffed rat with big eyes and a red mouth is standing in a hole .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

a cartoon character is standing on a wooden floor in a room .

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

Obviously we hope you haven’t really joined the rotsome legions of the infected but perhaps it’s as well to make wise contingencies like leaving Clive to our tender care 😀

a large crowd of people are gathered in front of a sign that says asylum on it

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

Don’t worry fiend! If your unwanted luncheon guests have given you plague we will look after Clive when you cark it 😇

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Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 21h

With your green skin, plethora of sharp penguin spears and fearsome aspect? No fear! We’d scuttle off into the woods as quick as we could and never return 😁

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 23h

Lurking around graveyards frightening the sexton eh? Happy lurking PEF! Try not to bite anyone 😍

Poisonous Ratbag @poisonousratbag.bsky.social · 23h

Gorgeous! 😍

Reposted by Poisonous Ratbag

Pooh 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇪🇺 🇨🇦 🇩🇰 @poohbearcorner.bsky.social · 1d

“The Brexit Falcon”

The rain hit Clacton like cheap gin on an empty stomach. I was nursing a pint that had gone flat two referendums ago when she walked in — Britannia herself, draped in a torn flag and smelling of nostalgia.

“Mr. Farage,” she said, “I’ve lost something… my sovereignty.” .....

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