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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
1.6K followers 890 following 3.5K posts
Horror & Comedy Author 🧛 Bill The Vampire 👣 Bigfoot Hunters 🐺 The Girl Who Punches Werewolves Fan of cryptids, Transformers, & Godzilla. He/Him. Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
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Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · Feb 18
What happens when a foul-mouthed gamer is mistakenly recruited into the ranks of the undead?

All hell breaks loose, duh!

The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.

There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.

www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
The Tome of Bill series starting with Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, and Holier Than Thou
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2h
Get ready to laugh from DUSK TILL DAWN!

BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.

For ebook, print, and audio.

www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
I might be a vampire, but that doesn't mean I have to be a dick about it - Bill The Vampire
rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 9h
We need to make these little hate-filled, shit balls famous.

www.politico.com/news/2025/10...
‘I love Hitler’: Leaked messages expose Young Republicans’ racist chat
Thousands of private messages reveal young GOP leaders joking about gas chambers, slavery and rape.
www.politico.com
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 14h
The Fascist regime is trying to label No Kings Day as a Hate America Rally, because that's literally all they know how to push - hatred. Everything is about hatred for them. It's all they know, what consumes them.

Without hatred they have nothing because they're empty shells otherwise.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 16h
Just dropped one of my son's classes. He (special needs with accommodations) had asked for feedback for an assignment. Prof ignored him, so I stepped in. Their response was "check the rubric."

Needless to say, not paying for a class where the professor can't be bothered to do the bare minimum.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 16h
I think it's pretty clear JD Vance has been flexing, preparing for Trump's final "departure".

However, I think what George Stephanopoulos did, cutting him off, was also a flex - testing the waters of outrage to see if the masses would rally behind Vance.

They did not and that's significant.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 17h
Even winning isn't enough to stop his whining.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 19h
We should have a No Billionaires day to match No Kings, in which protesters surround homes and businesses owned by billionaires … just to remind them they are the few and we are the many.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 20h
Comment on an ad for my Bigfoot horror novel:

“and you know this how?”

Gee, I dunno. Maybe because I wrote the freaking book.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 20h
Mike Johnson thinks the American people are selfish for wanting to keep their healthcare costs down because he thinks that money should go toward billionaire tax breaks instead.

For shame, America! Won’t someone think of the poor billionaires?
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”

Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES

For ebook, print, and audio.

www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
The Girl Who Punches Werewolves - half witch, half werewolf, all attitude
rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
I know it didn’t accomplish anything, but it made me feel better regardless.
Jack shitarelli shitting up my phone
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Whenever anyone says they don’t like to use pronouns, I just naturally assume they go through their day grunting like a caveman.

“Doug no like words! Doug strong like bear! Doug smash with rock!”
a cartoon of spongebob and patrick with huge mouths
Alt: a cartoon of spongebob and patrick with huge mouths
media.tenor.com
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Not all of my characters curse, but the ones that do have plenty of fucks to give.

Fair warning. If you don’t like that sort of language, my books are probably not for you.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Trump in Hell: "God called me up with tears in his eyes and said, sir, I really wished I could have let you in. You would make heaven the best place in all the universe, but we're currently full of immigrants right now. He said he'll send me a glass of ice water as soon as he can."
rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
ICE dude is practically smoldering with small dick energy.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Straight Male authors, be sure to stand up for your female and LGBTQ author friends. Trust me when I say they take a lot more shit than we ever do. So, if you see it happening, speak up as a friend and ally. Online bullies become a lot less bold when they see their target isn't alone.
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Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
First off, my name isn't Rick Mofina.

Secondly, I'm glad [specific emotional moment or line] touched you.

Thirdly, Master of the Dungeon is a book about people who get sucked into a D&D-style game world and then proceed to do a lot of orc fucking.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
To any Republican Congress-person fed up with Mike Johnson's bullshit, there's a real easy way to end this government shutdown impasse - just become person 218 to force the vote on the Epstein files.

All you gotta do is grow enough of a spine to sign your name.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Me: searched for thing, finds thing on Staples for $50 less than everywhere else.

Me: purchases product.

Staples (3 days later): "Fuck you, your order is cancelled, oh and thing is now same price as everywhere else in case you try to reorder."

Moral of the story: you suck Staples!
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Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 1d
Ah NPR, you continue to disappoint with fluff rather than acknowledge we’re heading into a fascist state - one in which, I dare say, an NPR won’t be allowed to exist in any state save one that kisses Trump’s ass

But do go on.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2d
Ready for a terrifying Bigfoot thriller?

BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.

www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
Bigfoot Hunters - a terrifying cryptid thriller
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2d
I’m so dreading him as Skeletor in the new Masters of the Universe movie because he seems to exude negative screen charisma.
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Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2d
Currently in a battle of wills with our new cat.

She thinks my office chair is hers, while I clearly know it’s mine.

I may have to get another chair.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2d
Back in Nov, I posted on FB that everyone who voted against my children (special needs) could go fuck themselves.

Afterward, I felt a bit bad wondering if I maybe overreacted.

But no. We are definitely back to fuck everyone who voted against my and so many others kids.
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rickgualtieri.com
Rick Gualtieri @rickgualtieri.com · 2d
Figured I’d check the garden before the storm hits today.

Found this monster waiting for me today.
Eggplant
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