Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
Horror & Comedy Author, writing literary escape hatches from the drudgery of life's BS. Fan of cryptids, Transformers, & Godzilla.
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
Pinned
Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
· Feb 18
What happens when a foul-mouthed gamer is mistakenly recruited into the ranks of the undead?
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
No thanks, Gemini. I usually like the people I email and prefer not to embarrass myself with slop.
January 16, 2026 at 1:35 PM
No thanks, Gemini. I usually like the people I email and prefer not to embarrass myself with slop.
Just heard from a friend of mine. Said he laid out some dude in a bar who was bragging about being a member of ICE, flashing his badge and all.
That's the sort of news I can get behind.
That's the sort of news I can get behind.
January 16, 2026 at 1:32 PM
Just heard from a friend of mine. Said he laid out some dude in a bar who was bragging about being a member of ICE, flashing his badge and all.
That's the sort of news I can get behind.
That's the sort of news I can get behind.
Don't sleep with the lights on! That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
January 16, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Don't sleep with the lights on! That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
Mobile ads: “We’re gonna show you two minutes of unskippable crap that isn’t even in the game and hope it doesn’t piss you off.”
January 15, 2026 at 10:59 PM
Mobile ads: “We’re gonna show you two minutes of unskippable crap that isn’t even in the game and hope it doesn’t piss you off.”
As the authors of more than a few werewolf stories, let me just say I am well aware of the fallacy of wolf packs and alphas.
However, the idea is a human conceit. And since werewolves, at their core, are human, I think it makes perfect sense they'd adopt it regardless of real wolves.
However, the idea is a human conceit. And since werewolves, at their core, are human, I think it makes perfect sense they'd adopt it regardless of real wolves.
January 15, 2026 at 8:33 PM
As the authors of more than a few werewolf stories, let me just say I am well aware of the fallacy of wolf packs and alphas.
However, the idea is a human conceit. And since werewolves, at their core, are human, I think it makes perfect sense they'd adopt it regardless of real wolves.
However, the idea is a human conceit. And since werewolves, at their core, are human, I think it makes perfect sense they'd adopt it regardless of real wolves.
Oh, full disclosure, I have so far turned in my chair no less than three times today to boop her on the nose.
And no, she doesn't find it amusing.
And no, she doesn't find it amusing.
January 15, 2026 at 8:11 PM
Oh, full disclosure, I have so far turned in my chair no less than three times today to boop her on the nose.
And no, she doesn't find it amusing.
And no, she doesn't find it amusing.
She can't be allowed to roam free for too long unsupervised, because she enjoys harassing everything else here (including my two 90lb pitbulls).
So, every night, I pick her up like a sack of potatoes and carry her into the bedroom. She is not amused by this. 😂
So, every night, I pick her up like a sack of potatoes and carry her into the bedroom. She is not amused by this. 😂
January 15, 2026 at 8:03 PM
She can't be allowed to roam free for too long unsupervised, because she enjoys harassing everything else here (including my two 90lb pitbulls).
So, every night, I pick her up like a sack of potatoes and carry her into the bedroom. She is not amused by this. 😂
So, every night, I pick her up like a sack of potatoes and carry her into the bedroom. She is not amused by this. 😂
Oh no, I win. Before I put that cat bed there, she was choosing to sleep in my chair. 😅
January 15, 2026 at 7:18 PM
Oh no, I win. Before I put that cat bed there, she was choosing to sleep in my chair. 😅
I was going to use this stand as a sort of mini-printing station. But looks like it’s already spoken for.
January 15, 2026 at 7:09 PM
I was going to use this stand as a sort of mini-printing station. But looks like it’s already spoken for.
There's going to be a lot of MAGA parents dying alone and bitter, all because they chose a rich, spoiled, racist / pedophile over their own children.
And yet they say it's not a cult.
And yet they say it's not a cult.
January 15, 2026 at 5:20 PM
There's going to be a lot of MAGA parents dying alone and bitter, all because they chose a rich, spoiled, racist / pedophile over their own children.
And yet they say it's not a cult.
And yet they say it's not a cult.
Today's spam: "Would it be fine if I posted a brief Goodreads review of your book?"
Um, last I checked you didn't need an author's permission to review shit. But I'm gonna guess that if I say yes, you're going to then bring up the idea of a "small processing fee."
Um, last I checked you didn't need an author's permission to review shit. But I'm gonna guess that if I say yes, you're going to then bring up the idea of a "small processing fee."
January 15, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Today's spam: "Would it be fine if I posted a brief Goodreads review of your book?"
Um, last I checked you didn't need an author's permission to review shit. But I'm gonna guess that if I say yes, you're going to then bring up the idea of a "small processing fee."
Um, last I checked you didn't need an author's permission to review shit. But I'm gonna guess that if I say yes, you're going to then bring up the idea of a "small processing fee."
(opens up the fridge, sees a can of whipped cream and nobody around to stop me)
a man is singing into a microphone while holding a remote control in his hand .
Alt: a man is singing into a microphone while holding a remote control in his hand .
media.tenor.com
January 15, 2026 at 3:47 PM
(opens up the fridge, sees a can of whipped cream and nobody around to stop me)
Those who are supposed to be protecting us have failed - at the federal level and, with few exceptions, at the state level too.
If we want to survive this with our country and constitution intact, we’ll need to bypass their bullshit and organize from a grassroots / local level.
If we want to survive this with our country and constitution intact, we’ll need to bypass their bullshit and organize from a grassroots / local level.
January 15, 2026 at 12:08 PM
Those who are supposed to be protecting us have failed - at the federal level and, with few exceptions, at the state level too.
If we want to survive this with our country and constitution intact, we’ll need to bypass their bullshit and organize from a grassroots / local level.
If we want to survive this with our country and constitution intact, we’ll need to bypass their bullshit and organize from a grassroots / local level.
I only read manly books about manly werewolves who do manly things like eat meat, kill animals, and occasionally take long, slow, sensual showers together!”
January 15, 2026 at 11:57 AM
I only read manly books about manly werewolves who do manly things like eat meat, kill animals, and occasionally take long, slow, sensual showers together!”
Get ready to laugh from DUSK TILL DAWN!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
January 15, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Get ready to laugh from DUSK TILL DAWN!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
I can hear Eddie Murphy proclaiming “A karate man bleeds on the inside.”
January 15, 2026 at 12:54 AM
I can hear Eddie Murphy proclaiming “A karate man bleeds on the inside.”
Been battling Fishstick over control of my desk chair.
Think I finally found a solution that works - a comfy cat bed on the printer stand next to my desk.
Think I finally found a solution that works - a comfy cat bed on the printer stand next to my desk.
January 15, 2026 at 12:50 AM
Been battling Fishstick over control of my desk chair.
Think I finally found a solution that works - a comfy cat bed on the printer stand next to my desk.
Think I finally found a solution that works - a comfy cat bed on the printer stand next to my desk.
Me too. It's a good story hook. But I sometimes like to throw a wink-nod to real life into my books.
January 14, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Me too. It's a good story hook. But I sometimes like to throw a wink-nod to real life into my books.
Well aware. I figure it's a human conceit, but since werewolves are human...
January 14, 2026 at 9:42 PM
Well aware. I figure it's a human conceit, but since werewolves are human...
HAH! I knew it was coming. Mike The Werewolf just got its first bad review because the MC isn't "Alpha" enough.
Way to miss the point of the story, my dude.
Way to miss the point of the story, my dude.
January 14, 2026 at 8:50 PM
HAH! I knew it was coming. Mike The Werewolf just got its first bad review because the MC isn't "Alpha" enough.
Way to miss the point of the story, my dude.
Way to miss the point of the story, my dude.
Maybe ghost spiders.
January 14, 2026 at 7:21 PM
Maybe ghost spiders.
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn CBS’s new owners had dug up Walter Cronkite’s grave specifically to piss all over it.
January 14, 2026 at 6:32 PM
I wouldn’t be surprised to learn CBS’s new owners had dug up Walter Cronkite’s grave specifically to piss all over it.
The doorbell cam keeps going off with no one there.
Time to play the old game of squirrels or ghosts.
Time to play the old game of squirrels or ghosts.
January 14, 2026 at 6:20 PM
The doorbell cam keeps going off with no one there.
Time to play the old game of squirrels or ghosts.
Time to play the old game of squirrels or ghosts.