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Ryan, Perdido en TX

@ryanlostintx.bsky.social

2.4K followers 470 following 4.4K posts

I’m just happy to be here.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · Jun 21

When you spend 30 minutes looking at the menu and finally agree to split the combo fajitas dinner for two.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 10h

It’s wild that John Fetterman was traded for a player to be named later and that player to be named later was MTG. She is a horrible person still, but she is spitting lately.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 11h

dijon mustard, mayonnaise, Worcestershire, pickle juice, and sriracha. That a marinade, right? Let’s go.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 11h

What do you mean the thing I thought would never happen actually happened?

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 13h

Eventually sensible people will realize that they’ve supported some absolutely bonkers policy and speak out about it only this time the Night of the Long Knives will be televised.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 13h

One time when I was surfing at Fish Pass near Corpus Christi I watched a smallish, maybe 5-6’, gator swim past me with something in its jaws and it wasn’t until I got back to the beach that I realized it had gotten a juvenile black tip reef shark. Good times.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 13h

Sarah’s done that.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

🤔

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

It delicious but thinking about it makes me feel bad. But this is coming from someone who also tries not to think about the intelligence of any other source of protein.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

That’s one thing I really don’t care to eat.
Makes me feel bad.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

What should we cook today?

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

Sorry to be off topic but Woke Stiffler and the whole concept cracks me up every single time. I’d like to imagine that Jesus Christ was pretty much just Woke Stiffler.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

They want the ability to cancel elections too.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

This is a terror campaign.

Mr. Fusion @mrfusion.bsky.social · 14h

So, if ICE knew the family was undocumented, why not detain the entire family?
Why? Because this isn't about breaking the law, its about creating fear and strongarming civilians.

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Reposted by Ryan, Perdido en TX

Mr. Fusion @mrfusion.bsky.social · 14h

So, if ICE knew the family was undocumented, why not detain the entire family?
Why? Because this isn't about breaking the law, its about creating fear and strongarming civilians.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

Exactly.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 14h

God damn this is right around the corner from me.

LongTime🤓FirstTime👨‍💻 @longtimehistory.bsky.social · 19h

ICE secretly kidnap autistic boy during bathroom break—never notify parents.

Mother reported him missing a week ago—turns out ICE had him detained the whole time.

He was helping sell fruit and asked to go to the restroom—by the time she was done helping a customer he was gone.

Houston, Texas

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 15h

A recurring nightmare I’ve had for a long time is that instead of millions of tiny sperm being ejaculated when you orgasm, it’s just one huge sperm that comes out of your dick and just starts flopping around like a catfish out of water. Anyway, have a good afternoon.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 15h

When I first met my mother in law I was like woah is this Diane Keaton.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 15h

Always was a huge fan of Diane Keaton. Sad news.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 15h

Love the pettiness.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 16h

I strive to be as cool as the dude in his mid-50’s decked out in Jos A Bank casual wear riding a BMW touring motorcycle just blaring Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love on the bike’s soundsystem.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 1d

The lady who runs a company that frequents my shop and sounds exactly like my mom that causes me to repeatedly end business conversations by accidentally saying “I love you” just friended me on FB.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 3d

If the Astros were still in the playoffs I would be so fucking stressed about how they’d do I’d be completely worthless. Luckily I don’t have to have that distraction from my shit ass fucking life that I hate because the team I love that makes me feel good sucked ass this year.

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Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 3d

Trust me, I’m a pro.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 3d

Utilize the emergency tortilla, place an extra tortilla down on your plate to catch any of the debris that falls from the tacos you're eating so you end up with a bonus taco at the end.

Ryan, Perdido en TX @ryanlostintx.bsky.social · 3d

Some salchichas with onions and peppers, refried beans, and eggs on a flour tortilla with some fire salsa verde would absolutely slam right about now if I can be honest here.

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