Paul
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theautist.bsky.social
Paul
@theautist.bsky.social
240 followers 83 following 2.7K posts
Proud Mancunian. Lifelong MUFC fan. Diagnosed autist and proud of being a weird conversationalist. Created in a lab out of all the crap left over from pretty people. I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over. Avid Atheist.
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"So I'm not allowed to go into the garden and dig a big hole to help me get over the disappearance of my ex?"

🤣😂
"World gem"? Hull? Seriously?
He claimed he was out shooting chipmunks at the time of his Mrs' disappearance.

I'm beginning to like this guy...

🤣😂
I'm not sure how i feel about this. There are many credible reports of British soldiers behaving appallingly in Northern Ireland back in the day. Is soldier F a scapegoat? How was he identified?
"Maybe she was abducted by a mountain lion."

A genuine explanation a husband offered to police when asked about the mysterious disappearance of his Mrs. Some documentary I was watching on Netflix last night. I nearly fell off the couch laughing.
Mate, have you thought about a course of edibles? Posting shit like this cannot be healthy.
I swear this story is true...

My ex wanted my eldest daughter christened for some weird reason. A few days before, I was watching a United Liverpool game and shouted "STAB A SCOUSER". During the christening, my daughter shouted "STAB A SCOUSER" and looked at me, giggling. I died.
This White House demolition thing is bothering me. Is a ballroom the real build? The East Wing was originally built in 1942 to hide the construction of an underground bunker. Does that bunker need upgrading? If so, why? What is Trump REALLY up to? Is Putin involved? Netanyahu?

I smell a rat...
A pal worked for Range Rover in Wilmslow (footballers wives town) about 30 years ago. About 10 of us drove them. All black, tinted. We looked terrifying when we all pulled up somewhere. 🤣
I hate cheats mate. And this guy is a slimey, upper management, Range Rover Sport driving piece of shit. His Mrs is lovely too.
Just popped into work for a meeting when it was pointed out to me that I had what appeared to be last night's dinner down the front of my shirt. I politely (and rationally) replied, "stop fucking our secretary behind your wife's back, you repugnant little cunt."
😂🤣
Nigel, we know you ate all the brie last night. We had artist, Luis Egidio Meléndez watching the fridge! The evidence he presented is undeniable. 👍🏛️🍑🧀 #MuseumBums

LE Meléndez' "Self portrait with academic drawing", 1746, from the Louvre 😁
The Israel ceasefire is a scam cooked up by Trump and Netanyahu. Now all the alive hostages have been returned, the IDF will, sooner or later, continue it's genocide.
This has to be rhetorical. Look at what he did to stay in power the first time around. Yet you unbelievably stupid people elected him again. As a non American, your picture is quite the metaphor
My brain refuses to allow me to sleep until I've allowed it to bitch about something on here. This should do it.
Also; we have people like Elon Musk up to his tits in AI tech. And we don't think that'll end terribly?

One day soon, that Will Smith film I Robot will become a fucking documentary.
Loads of weird fake rescue videos around at the moment. Guy sat in house watching telly. Reindeer smashes down his front door, shouting. So the bloke follows the reindeer who leads him to a trapped penguin mate.

Humans are already abusing AI because we're too fucking stupid to be trusted with it.
So I downloaded ChatGPT because a colleague said it was a good aiurce of information. I'm no genius but I've just had to correct the fucking thing twice. It even apologised.
No mate. Just a PS5 (Pro). Hell Let Loose is really good but it's very difficult.
I play my PlayStation quite a lot, it suits my neurology. I hate playing Call Of Duty because getting shot by someone dressed as a fucking pink rabbit firing plasma at me is annoying. Hell Let Loose is absolutely superb but ridiculously difficult. I need an inbetween.
Im not slagging Lammens off by the way, not for a second. I just think the media are making a big deal out of his performance and shining a spotlight on him that isn't helpful for him.
Cody Gakpo did MUCH more for us to help us win on Sunday than Senne Lammens did. Yet United and other media outlets are behaving as though he had a heroic game.

He didn't...
I love learning new things.

Today I learned not to use my new stiff bristle back scrubber to exfoliate my plums.

THEY'RE STILL TINGLING...
If McVities change my digestives to chocolate 'flavour' digestives, I shall lose my shit.
Just had a stroll into the village for bread and milk. I have returned with Kit Kats and Jaffa Cakes.

The fuck is wrong with me?