Author | Lightnews

Paul

@theautist.bsky.social

240 followers 83 following 2.6K posts

Proud Mancunian. Lifelong MUFC fan. Diagnosed autist and proud of being a weird conversationalist. Created in a lab out of all the crap left over from pretty people. I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over. Avid Atheist.

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 18d

"So I'm not allowed to go into the garden and dig a big hole to help me get over the disappearance of my ex?"

🤣😂

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 26m

A pal worked for Range Rover in Wilmslow (footballers wives town) about 30 years ago. About 10 of us drove them. All black, tinted. We looked terrifying when we all pulled up somewhere. 🤣

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 35m

I hate cheats mate. And this guy is a slimey, upper management, Range Rover Sport driving piece of shit. His Mrs is lovely too.

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 46m

Just popped into work for a meeting when it was pointed out to me that I had what appeared to be last night's dinner down the front of my shirt. I politely (and rationally) replied, "stop fucking our secretary behind your wife's back, you repugnant little cunt."

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 4h

😂🤣

Museum Bums @museumbums.bsky.social · 6h

Nigel, we know you ate all the brie last night. We had artist, Luis Egidio Meléndez watching the fridge! The evidence he presented is undeniable. 👍🏛️🍑🧀 #MuseumBums

LE Meléndez' "Self portrait with academic drawing", 1746, from the Louvre 😁

A painting of a smug looking artist, holding up an academic drawing that looks like someone called Nigel on his way to finish off the brie

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 11h

The Israel ceasefire is a scam cooked up by Trump and Netanyahu. Now all the alive hostages have been returned, the IDF will, sooner or later, continue it's genocide.

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 11h

This has to be rhetorical. Look at what he did to stay in power the first time around. Yet you unbelievably stupid people elected him again. As a non American, your picture is quite the metaphor

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 14h

My brain refuses to allow me to sleep until I've allowed it to bitch about something on here. This should do it.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 14h

Also; we have people like Elon Musk up to his tits in AI tech. And we don't think that'll end terribly?

One day soon, that Will Smith film I Robot will become a fucking documentary.

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 14h

Loads of weird fake rescue videos around at the moment. Guy sat in house watching telly. Reindeer smashes down his front door, shouting. So the bloke follows the reindeer who leads him to a trapped penguin mate.

Humans are already abusing AI because we're too fucking stupid to be trusted with it.

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 17h

So I downloaded ChatGPT because a colleague said it was a good aiurce of information. I'm no genius but I've just had to correct the fucking thing twice. It even apologised.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 20h

No mate. Just a PS5 (Pro). Hell Let Loose is really good but it's very difficult.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 22h

I play my PlayStation quite a lot, it suits my neurology. I hate playing Call Of Duty because getting shot by someone dressed as a fucking pink rabbit firing plasma at me is annoying. Hell Let Loose is absolutely superb but ridiculously difficult. I need an inbetween.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 23h

Im not slagging Lammens off by the way, not for a second. I just think the media are making a big deal out of his performance and shining a spotlight on him that isn't helpful for him.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 23h

Cody Gakpo did MUCH more for us to help us win on Sunday than Senne Lammens did. Yet United and other media outlets are behaving as though he had a heroic game.

He didn't...

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 1d

I love learning new things.

Today I learned not to use my new stiff bristle back scrubber to exfoliate my plums.

THEY'RE STILL TINGLING...

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 1d

youtube.com/shorts/OBCix...

Dogs being dicks with commentary.
Guaranteed to make you smile.

❤️ #RxCKSTxR Good Dogs Get Good Treats...

YouTube video by SCIENTIST LAB

youtube.com

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 1d

If McVities change my digestives to chocolate 'flavour' digestives, I shall lose my shit.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 1d

Just had a stroll into the village for bread and milk. I have returned with Kit Kats and Jaffa Cakes.

The fuck is wrong with me?

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 2d

Modern telly's have FAR too many screen settings.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 2d

Seven million Americans turned up for their no Kings matches.

Seventy one million Americans voted for Donald Trump.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 2d

This is the most Jewish thing I've ever heard...

The Synagogue that was attacked in Manchester recently has had its insurance claim for the repairs rejected. 🤣😂

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 3d

Oh my God...

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Fabrizio Romano (MIRROR) @fabrizioromano.yopro20.com · 3d

🚨🌳 Sean Dyche, set to sign contract until June 2027 at Nottingham Forest. Verbal agreement in place between parties with former Everton manager ready for PL return.

Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 3d

Dogs always are! Dogs over humans all day in my house

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 3d

youtube.com/shorts/-_DlU...

Is the mum helping here? 🤣😂

Why can’t I stop watching this? 😭 #memes #meme #funny #omg #bear #mum #scary #dog #real #one

YouTube video by JackyBoy :)

youtube.com

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Paul @theautist.bsky.social · 3d

I LOVE Jelly Babies...🤣

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