Paul
@theautist.bsky.social
Proud Mancunian. Lifelong MUFC fan. Diagnosed autist and proud of being a weird conversationalist. Created in a lab out of all the crap left over from pretty people.
I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over.
Avid Atheist.
I only use Bluesky as a tool to bitch about things I have no control over.
Avid Atheist.
Pinned
Paul
@theautist.bsky.social
· Oct 4
"So I'm not allowed to go into the garden and dig a big hole to help me get over the disappearance of my ex?"
🤣😂
🤣😂
I just found out the dentist round the corner from me has been locked up for dealing drugs. No way!
I've been going to him for years and I had no idea he was a dentist.
I've been going to him for years and I had no idea he was a dentist.
December 13, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I just found out the dentist round the corner from me has been locked up for dealing drugs. No way!
I've been going to him for years and I had no idea he was a dentist.
I've been going to him for years and I had no idea he was a dentist.
"As I pay to have their heads ripped off."
But yeah, this isn't about some cunt vegan who is arrogant enough to criticise me for not being like him.
But yeah, this isn't about some cunt vegan who is arrogant enough to criticise me for not being like him.
December 13, 2025 at 1:19 AM
"As I pay to have their heads ripped off."
But yeah, this isn't about some cunt vegan who is arrogant enough to criticise me for not being like him.
But yeah, this isn't about some cunt vegan who is arrogant enough to criticise me for not being like him.
This is my favourite. Look at the articulation. Fuck me... 🤣😂🤣🤣
December 13, 2025 at 1:10 AM
This is my favourite. Look at the articulation. Fuck me... 🤣😂🤣🤣
"I'm such a cunt of a vegan that I want an entire industry to diversify because I dont like it."
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
December 13, 2025 at 12:57 AM
"I'm such a cunt of a vegan that I want an entire industry to diversify because I dont like it."
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
"I'm telling on you."
Wow what a cunt. 🤣😂🤣😂
Wow what a cunt. 🤣😂🤣😂
December 13, 2025 at 12:56 AM
"I'm telling on you."
Wow what a cunt. 🤣😂🤣😂
Wow what a cunt. 🤣😂🤣😂
It's all good and well releasing these pics along party lines, but where are all the Clinton pics? Sexual abuse shouldn't be drip fed to us in a partisan manner. If you're a nonce you're a nonce, regardless of political affiliation.
House Dems release more photos from the Jeffrey Epstein estate; showing Trump, Clinton and others. The committee did not specify when the images released were taken nor does it have information on the context. @lawofruby.bsky.social breaks it down
December 12, 2025 at 3:37 PM
It's all good and well releasing these pics along party lines, but where are all the Clinton pics? Sexual abuse shouldn't be drip fed to us in a partisan manner. If you're a nonce you're a nonce, regardless of political affiliation.
Busy work done for the week. I have a choice between the pub or housework.
Oh the agony of choice...
Oh the agony of choice...
December 12, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Busy work done for the week. I have a choice between the pub or housework.
Oh the agony of choice...
Oh the agony of choice...
If James Corden's been on it, I'd check the suspension before committing to the purchase.
Tidy! Dave's Coaches from Gavin & Stacey up for sale - for £200k. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Gavin and Stacey's Dave's Coaches up for sale for £200k
Priced at £200,000, the red 33-seater is a
www.bbc.co.uk
December 11, 2025 at 7:32 PM
If James Corden's been on it, I'd check the suspension before committing to the purchase.
My useless fact of the day.
The guy who made all the mad noises in Police Academy also voiced the Gremlins.
I need to try harder...
The guy who made all the mad noises in Police Academy also voiced the Gremlins.
I need to try harder...
December 11, 2025 at 7:09 PM
My useless fact of the day.
The guy who made all the mad noises in Police Academy also voiced the Gremlins.
I need to try harder...
The guy who made all the mad noises in Police Academy also voiced the Gremlins.
I need to try harder...
My Evri parcel finally arrived today, 5 days after it was supposed to. I was far from amused with the girl who eventually delivered it.
Anyway, long story short; we both hate Evri and we're off to the pub on Saturday.
Anyway, long story short; we both hate Evri and we're off to the pub on Saturday.
December 11, 2025 at 6:49 PM
My Evri parcel finally arrived today, 5 days after it was supposed to. I was far from amused with the girl who eventually delivered it.
Anyway, long story short; we both hate Evri and we're off to the pub on Saturday.
Anyway, long story short; we both hate Evri and we're off to the pub on Saturday.
I was making dinner for my daughter when she said, "dad, one day I will help you with bills, groceries and rent."
I won't lie, I teared up.
Then I realised she's thirty fucking two.
I won't lie, I teared up.
Then I realised she's thirty fucking two.
December 11, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I was making dinner for my daughter when she said, "dad, one day I will help you with bills, groceries and rent."
I won't lie, I teared up.
Then I realised she's thirty fucking two.
I won't lie, I teared up.
Then I realised she's thirty fucking two.
So that's january incomings up the spout?
Manchester United swings into red as European competition absence hits revenue reut.rs/4acfTOD
Manchester United swings into red as European competition absence hits revenue
Manchester United swung to a first-quarter net loss on Thursday, weighed by lower broadcasting revenue and ticket sales as the club sits out European competitions this season.
reut.rs
December 11, 2025 at 5:57 PM
So that's january incomings up the spout?
The cheapest ticket for the World Cup Final next year is £3,119. THE CHEAPEST.
Fuck all the way off, America.
Fuck all the way off, America.
December 11, 2025 at 4:25 PM
The cheapest ticket for the World Cup Final next year is £3,119. THE CHEAPEST.
Fuck all the way off, America.
Fuck all the way off, America.
This is Brian when something annoys him. On this occasion it was a balloon. He's just been chased around our back garden by a fucking squirrel.
The tit...
The tit...
December 10, 2025 at 11:26 PM
This is Brian when something annoys him. On this occasion it was a balloon. He's just been chased around our back garden by a fucking squirrel.
The tit...
The tit...
The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a brilliant film based on a mental true story. Guy Ritchie film.
December 10, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a brilliant film based on a mental true story. Guy Ritchie film.
I'm really surprised Xabi Alonso is struggling in Madrid. I thought he'd kill it there. For those of you who read my posts, you'll know im usually wrong anyway.
December 10, 2025 at 10:07 PM
I'm really surprised Xabi Alonso is struggling in Madrid. I thought he'd kill it there. For those of you who read my posts, you'll know im usually wrong anyway.
This is not unusual. Food standards in the UK have plummeted since Brexit.
Toffee Crisp and Blue Riband can't be called chocolate any more
Toffee Crisp and Blue Riband can't be called chocolate any more
Nestle has used more vegetable oil in it recipes, meaning the treats no longer qualify as chocolate under UK law
www.bbc.com
December 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
This is not unusual. Food standards in the UK have plummeted since Brexit.
Supergirl is trending. Does Hollywood make anything original these days? Films that don't involve spandex suits?
December 10, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Supergirl is trending. Does Hollywood make anything original these days? Films that don't involve spandex suits?
Trump is proposing vetting potential visitors to America by checking the past 5 years of the visitors' Internet activity.
Well that's me banned from America for life.
Well that's me banned from America for life.
December 10, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Trump is proposing vetting potential visitors to America by checking the past 5 years of the visitors' Internet activity.
Well that's me banned from America for life.
Well that's me banned from America for life.
Everytime Evri delivers something to my house i get this. Pushed back and pushed back. It'll arrive on Saturday.
December 10, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Everytime Evri delivers something to my house i get this. Pushed back and pushed back. It'll arrive on Saturday.
So that's me chasing my wheelie bins down the street at 3am because one of them bounced off the neighbour's M4 and he battered my door down until I got up.
December 9, 2025 at 6:38 PM
So that's me chasing my wheelie bins down the street at 3am because one of them bounced off the neighbour's M4 and he battered my door down until I got up.
Some massive, obese blob just kicked off on the tram because a younger girl wouldn't give up her seat for her. So she switched her attention to a guy who was minding his own business. Bad move.
He told her to shut the fuck up and called her the Goodyear Gimp.
I can't breathe...
😂🤣😂🤣
He told her to shut the fuck up and called her the Goodyear Gimp.
I can't breathe...
😂🤣😂🤣
December 9, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Some massive, obese blob just kicked off on the tram because a younger girl wouldn't give up her seat for her. So she switched her attention to a guy who was minding his own business. Bad move.
He told her to shut the fuck up and called her the Goodyear Gimp.
I can't breathe...
😂🤣😂🤣
He told her to shut the fuck up and called her the Goodyear Gimp.
I can't breathe...
😂🤣😂🤣
I had no idea FIFA even has an ethics code.
From @theathleticfc.bsky.social: FIFA president Gianni Infantino has been accused of breaching FIFA’s ethics codes in relation to the process that saw President Trump receive an inaugural peace prize.
Gianni Infantino accused of breaching FIFA’s ethics codes in relation to President Trump comments
Advocacy group FairSquare has also requested an investigation into President Trump being awarded the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize last Friday.
nyti.ms
December 9, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I had no idea FIFA even has an ethics code.
How many times have you heard Americans claiming we'd be speaking German if it wasn't for them? You need to watch this. All America did was liquidate us, took all of our money and all of our gold reserves. youtu.be/LMy3BAJYi54?...
Lend-Lease: How America Looted the British Empire During World War II
YouTube video by Economy Rewind
youtu.be
December 9, 2025 at 1:04 PM
How many times have you heard Americans claiming we'd be speaking German if it wasn't for them? You need to watch this. All America did was liquidate us, took all of our money and all of our gold reserves. youtu.be/LMy3BAJYi54?...