Thoughtbarf
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thoughtbarf.bsky.social
Thoughtbarf
@thoughtbarf.bsky.social
2.1K followers 1.9K following 2.9K posts
Stop by for some absurdity, stay for the laughs.
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Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people
Time to stop being a dysfunctional dumpster lama

.... kidding!
Why do 90% of all medicine sound like cool wizard names?
Mayonnaise is basically just lotion for your bread
Turns out you can just buy & eat a birthday cake whenever you want to.
No one checks.
What if my systems are nervous
Me: but the voices just won't stop
Therapist: Those are people. They're allowed to talk
Drinking large quantities of water helps you avoid other people's drama
Because you're always peeing
Stay hydrated
Adult friendships are hard because everyone is really really tired
You okay babe? You hardly said cows when we were passing a field of cows
"Wait five minutes for your food to cool before you start eating"
Me: no
"I like your personality"
Me: Thanks, it's a disorder.
Society: be yourself
Society: not like that
Thank you for contacting the abyss.
Your scream is very important to us.
"Do you like dinosaurs? Yes or no?
(A five year old speed dating on the playground)
Well well well, if it isntthe feelings I supressed five months ago
Don't worry, everything will be okay. Or it won't.
Definitely one of those two.
It's a person in a trex suit, pole dancing lol
Where ya'll purchasing your audacities from?
Giant bag of candy: I'm resealable
Me: that won't be necessary