Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧

@tollytb.bsky.social

3.3K followers 3.4K following 2.8K posts

Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle.

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 6h

"Roubles baby, yeah."
🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 10h

I'm stunned, shocked, stupified, astounded, amazed, astonished, dumbfounded. NOT.
The woman beating Dubai ant could be in serious doo doo.
🐢💨

4 6

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 11h

Vasectomies only work if you remember to tell your partner about them.

Otherwise, she will just keep getting pregnant.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 22h

Conservative party conference after party organised by Michael Gove.
🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

You there boy, has Trump verbally shat himself yet after the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize was revealed?
🐢💨

1 4

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

"Nathan, do you fancy a few hundred thousand Roubles to make some statements? There's a nice Russian gentleman in the corner with a bag of cash. Nudge nudge, wink wink."
🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

🐢💨

2 3

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

No one is talking about all of the aphonia cases sweeping the world.

It's the silent epidemic.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

Barack Obama.
🐢💨

barack obama is smiling while sitting in front of a microphone on a show .

ALT: barack obama is smiling while sitting in front of a microphone on a show .

media.tenor.com

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

Mango Shitgibbon Trump about now.
🐢💨

1 5

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

The Mango Shitgibbon would lose his mind if he had one, so just his temper. Just waiting for the full caps tweets, and Magagammonati meltdown.
🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

Being arachnophobic is stupid.

If two spiders want to be together, why shouldn't they?

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

I've just bought a cheap boat.

There was a sail on.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 1d

Many people believe that icy is the easiest word to spell.

Looking at it, I see why.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

I love dad jokes about eyes.

The cornea, the better.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

I attempted to get a date with a woman I met at the art museum.

Unfortunately, it was a bust.

🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

🐢💨

a netflix ad shows a surgeon carrying a surgical gown

ALT: a netflix ad shows a surgeon carrying a surgical gown

media.tenor.com

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

Morning Shosh 👋
🐢💨

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

I told a joke in a zoom meeting yesterday but no one laughed.

It would appear I'm not remotely funny.

🐢💨

1 10

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 2d

I once asked my teacher, Mrs Taiwan,if that was her real name.

Apparently, it was her made in name.

🐢💨

2 9

Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 3d

"We need a new order in the country. Our dreams never end, so be a rebel, and you will be touched by the hand of God."
🐢💨

1 5

Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 3d

Treebeard is unhappy about his son Moprick playing with the dwarf Orc.
🐢💨

1 4

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 3d

"We need a new order in the country. Our dreams never end, so be a rebel, and you will be touched by the hand of God."
🐢💨

1 5

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 3d

Treebeard is unhappy about his son Moprick playing with the dwarf Orc.
🐢💨

1 4

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 3d

Breaking:

Lorry carrying strawberries involved in collision with a sugar lorry.

There's a huge traffic jam.

🐢💨