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tollytb.bsky.social
Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
@tollytb.bsky.social
Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle.
Even as a child Nigel Farage was fascinated with looking for small boats.
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November 29, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Charlie Mullins pre melted plastic U bend, and Turkey Teefs application.
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November 29, 2025 at 8:40 AM
I clearly remember my wife giving birth and the midwife saying, "Congratulations, you have a new bouncing baby."

"What is it?."

"I've no idea, it hasn't stopped bouncing yet."

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November 29, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Fun fact:

Jesus was originally named Gary.

Then Mary stubbed her toe.

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November 29, 2025 at 8:09 AM
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November 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Starring in the new stage show of 'Hair'
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November 28, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Complimentary lube in room?
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November 28, 2025 at 10:58 AM
I was pulled over by the police yesterday whilst driving my new electric car.

"Why have you pulled me over?"

"Our checks show you don't have a current licence. "

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November 28, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Excessive pearl clutching, and sad whimpering, in Reform Ltd ranks over this.
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November 28, 2025 at 8:42 AM
I went to visit a friend in hospital last night and kept being mildly insulted by everyone. Doctors, nurses, porters, patients.

It appears I was in the burn unit.

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November 28, 2025 at 8:22 AM
An offer from Leeberace that no self respecting w4nker could turn down, or Darren Grimes.
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November 27, 2025 at 9:17 PM
My girlfriend just asserted that it's not possible for two lines to cross.

She must be living in some sort of parallel universe.

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November 27, 2025 at 10:44 AM
The Merkin dream.
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November 27, 2025 at 10:41 AM
That was The Jolly Racist with Hurty Feelings.
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November 26, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Reform Ltds Reichsminister for propaganda, and Public Enlightenment, blames Rachel Reeves for the OBR error in early release of the budget.
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November 26, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Breaking:

Victoria's Secrets, and Smith&Wesson are to merge.

The new company will be called, Titty Titty Bang Bang.

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November 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
The first thing I look at in a woman is her heart.

The fact that her boobs block the view isn't my fault.

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November 26, 2025 at 10:11 AM
I think you may have got away with your non denial, denial, before a categorically denial, of your cheeky childhood racial bants abuse Ted.
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November 26, 2025 at 8:51 AM
Last xmas, my girlfriend was desperately upset when I gave her a container holding photo's of all my old girlfriends.

Apparently, that wasn't the X Box she wanted.

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November 26, 2025 at 8:24 AM
I walked into a pub last night with a very small newt sitting on my shoulder. The barman asked, "what's his name?"

"Tiny."

"Why do you call him that?"

"Because he's my newt."

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November 25, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Do mermaids have a sea section to give birth?
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November 25, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Reposted by Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧
Last night I told my girlfriend, "I'm really disappointed at how tight your skirts, dresses, and blouses are."

"Well, you'd better lose some weight then."

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November 25, 2025 at 11:25 AM
I here you're a jovial racist now Nigel.
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November 25, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Gay welders union grows in Hartlepool. The UK's answer to the village people?
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November 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM