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mr potato

@tweetpotato314.bsky.social

29K followers 340 following 1.9K posts

“trotting through life with occasional wins”

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 28d

gonna start using social media less and use the time saved to hit myself in the head with a shovel

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 5h

egg

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

i love you william

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

yes with no wind and AT NIGHT

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

the thing about solar power is that eventually the sun will die whereas the stewart’s by my house always has gasoline

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

[in a cool way] hello

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

thought this was green eggs and ham for a second

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 2d

Would I could find a fine frog!

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

lol imagine winning the super bowl on all-madden and getting drafted by the jets lmao no thank you

Reposted by mr potato

Arlan Skellington (scary) 🦇 @thehell.zone · 13d

if I grew to giant size, I would only defend the city. I would never destroy it

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

anxiety is just like having pre-traumatic stress disorder

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 3d

the “y” takes the place of the usual “i” i think

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 4d

just a smol bean please don’t plant me i’m not meant to grow

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 5d

harassment on the streets of birminghammmmm

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 5d

mini game where you use a whac-a-mole hammer to defend yourself at the glory hole

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 5d

blooper reel where the boss character gets their dick caught in a zipper

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 5d

harassment in the workplace (director’s cut)

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 6d

you eating a donut would prove that billy™️ is a brand i could trust and i would be much more likely to recommend to a friend or family

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 7d

oedipus: do u have to keep saying that

samuel l jackson: saying what

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 10d

i never do anything unless i’m at least somewhere spooky adjacent

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 10d

this is the kind of shirt with air brushed lettering i want to buy from a vendor by a beach

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Reposted by mr potato

ceej @ceej.online · Jul 26

I am never logging off

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

no, actually i’m allowed to stare at the sun today the government shut down

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

no, i am in the parking lot

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

i’ll save you a spot

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

[after reading exactly one work email] i am going to go lie face down in the parking lot

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