mr potato
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
“it’s even worse than it appears but, it’s alright”
Pinned
mr potato
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
· Sep 14
gonna start using social media less and use the time saved to hit myself in the head with a shovel
Reposted by mr potato
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
dr: lets do two truths and a lie
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
November 21, 2025 at 9:21 PM
dr: lets do two truths and a lie
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
me: i’d really rather n-
dr: i can speak french
me: *sighs* ok
dr: you have more than a month to live
me: what
dr: i can play the trombone
me: ….can you?
dr: oui
TP314 Sotd
The Killers & Bruce Springsteen: Encore At The Garden
YouTube video by TheKillersMusic
youtu.be
November 21, 2025 at 2:10 PM
TP314 Sotd
i accept grok painting him as morally superior to jesus christ and more athletically gifted than lebron james but i will NOT STAND for bear grylls erasure
November 20, 2025 at 10:15 PM
i accept grok painting him as morally superior to jesus christ and more athletically gifted than lebron james but i will NOT STAND for bear grylls erasure
if i found out ryan seacreast was keeping information from me i would say “ok, have it your way ryan secrets”
November 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
if i found out ryan seacreast was keeping information from me i would say “ok, have it your way ryan secrets”
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
November 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
[sinking in quicksand]
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: oh no
wife: we’ll be fine if we just remain still and wait for help
me: ok
[mambo no. 5 starts to play]
me: OH NO
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
November 19, 2025 at 12:37 PM
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
the auto collision shop by my job put up a new sign which kind of blocks the view of oncoming traffic and i gotta say…well played
November 16, 2025 at 2:05 PM
the auto collision shop by my job put up a new sign which kind of blocks the view of oncoming traffic and i gotta say…well played
they should leave an empty page at the end of history books to signify that the future is up to you…i’d draw a dragon with a huge wang on it
November 15, 2025 at 4:46 AM
they should leave an empty page at the end of history books to signify that the future is up to you…i’d draw a dragon with a huge wang on it
Reposted by mr potato
Here is your semi-annual reminder that I do draw stuff sometimes & have an online store: shop.roxiqt.com 👻
October 28, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Here is your semi-annual reminder that I do draw stuff sometimes & have an online store: shop.roxiqt.com 👻
Reposted by mr potato
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
November 9, 2025 at 5:44 AM
People say Barbie is an unrealistic role model, but what about Mr. Potato Head? I’ve never seen a guy who looks likes that
Reposted by mr potato
why are they "trad wives" and not "girls gone laura ingalls wilder"
November 11, 2025 at 4:32 PM
why are they "trad wives" and not "girls gone laura ingalls wilder"
a good lawyer name would be Lou Pole
November 10, 2025 at 2:00 AM
a good lawyer name would be Lou Pole
people forget but air bud was an absolute liability on defense
November 7, 2025 at 2:41 AM
people forget but air bud was an absolute liability on defense
Reposted by mr potato
RFK Jr: You know, if someone… collapses in front of you the best course of action is… to leave immediately, because their soul just… came out and it’s flying around the room looking for a new… vessel at that point
November 6, 2025 at 6:45 PM
RFK Jr: You know, if someone… collapses in front of you the best course of action is… to leave immediately, because their soul just… came out and it’s flying around the room looking for a new… vessel at that point
Reposted by mr potato
in middle school a kid entered the talent show with a rap about social studies and got booed off the stage, the world wasn't ready for Hamilton yet
November 5, 2025 at 4:41 PM
in middle school a kid entered the talent show with a rap about social studies and got booed off the stage, the world wasn't ready for Hamilton yet
Reposted by mr potato
every star trek episode is titled Ere Fire Down From Olympus Came and every plot is "what if a comet had a milf on it"
November 4, 2025 at 2:36 AM
every star trek episode is titled Ere Fire Down From Olympus Came and every plot is "what if a comet had a milf on it"
Reposted by mr potato
the ghost that haunts my house keeps bragging that he can go inside the microwave while it’s on, like i care
November 4, 2025 at 2:31 AM
the ghost that haunts my house keeps bragging that he can go inside the microwave while it’s on, like i care
sad to lose donna jean today
Dancing in the Street (Live at Barton Hall, Cornell University, Ithaca, NY 5/8/77)
YouTube video by Grateful Dead - Topic
youtu.be
November 3, 2025 at 6:53 PM
sad to lose donna jean today
Reposted by mr potato
It's the time of year again -- time to do your holiday shopping from independent artists. It's more important than ever to support people actually making stuff!
If you're an artist or craftsperson of any kind, please reply to this with what you make and a link to your store and I'll share it!
If you're an artist or craftsperson of any kind, please reply to this with what you make and a link to your store and I'll share it!
October 31, 2025 at 1:31 PM
It's the time of year again -- time to do your holiday shopping from independent artists. It's more important than ever to support people actually making stuff!
If you're an artist or craftsperson of any kind, please reply to this with what you make and a link to your store and I'll share it!
If you're an artist or craftsperson of any kind, please reply to this with what you make and a link to your store and I'll share it!
a storm trooper who’s about to receive some bad news on their performance review
Did I miss anything
October 31, 2025 at 5:06 PM
a storm trooper who’s about to receive some bad news on their performance review
one time at my kid’s day care they did a trunk or treat and one of the families dressed up as bob’s burgers and handed out sliders instead of candy and idk how to make this punchy but it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me
October 31, 2025 at 1:08 PM
one time at my kid’s day care they did a trunk or treat and one of the families dressed up as bob’s burgers and handed out sliders instead of candy and idk how to make this punchy but it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me
neil armstrong: hey you uh didn’t….fake it, right?
the moon: oh, no way baby, you totally landed on me
the moon: oh, no way baby, you totally landed on me
October 31, 2025 at 1:00 PM
neil armstrong: hey you uh didn’t….fake it, right?
the moon: oh, no way baby, you totally landed on me
the moon: oh, no way baby, you totally landed on me
Reposted by mr potato
Give me a treat boys and fill my bowl I wanna dress up as a spooky ghoul for milky ways
October 26, 2023 at 11:50 PM
Give me a treat boys and fill my bowl I wanna dress up as a spooky ghoul for milky ways
Reposted by mr potato
me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
May 2, 2024 at 3:02 PM
me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
gf: yeah of course
me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart
gf: I guess so
me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault