Viktor Winetrout
@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Contributor: @theonion.com
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social
Pinned
When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang
My wife went to NYC for the weekend so I'm having a film festival if any of you want to swing by
December 6, 2025 at 5:04 PM
My wife went to NYC for the weekend so I'm having a film festival if any of you want to swing by
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
i retold your joke but worse, please respond
December 6, 2025 at 4:13 PM
i retold your joke but worse, please respond
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
December 6, 2025 at 6:05 AM
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”
December 6, 2025 at 12:38 PM
“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
July 4, 2024 at 11:28 PM
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Pluto the dog stands upright walking around at Disneyland but then on TV he walks like a regular dog. And I’m sorry to say this, but … that’s two different guys. It’s just not even the same guy
November 25, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Pluto the dog stands upright walking around at Disneyland but then on TV he walks like a regular dog. And I’m sorry to say this, but … that’s two different guys. It’s just not even the same guy
What if you die and you hate being dead
December 6, 2025 at 7:43 AM
What if you die and you hate being dead
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
December 6, 2025 at 6:05 AM
WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
What animal does gatorade come from?
October 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM
What animal does gatorade come from?
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
July 10, 2023 at 9:55 PM
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
December 5, 2025 at 4:43 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Dead leaves on the ground make picking up dog poop a more challenging pattern-recognition task, helping keep my mind sharp as I age. It’s like doing nature sudoku. Thank you to everyone involved
November 26, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Dead leaves on the ground make picking up dog poop a more challenging pattern-recognition task, helping keep my mind sharp as I age. It’s like doing nature sudoku. Thank you to everyone involved
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
December 1, 2025 at 7:11 AM
You won't commission an Etsy witch cause "it's silly", but you'll decorate a dead tree inside your house with lights and ornamental animals? Okay. Guess you hate women in the workforce.
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
October 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Cookie Monster’s date: Can we talk about something else
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Cookie Monster quietly unwrapping a package of cookies during his murder trial
December 7, 2024 at 9:18 PM
Cookie Monster quietly unwrapping a package of cookies during his murder trial
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
December 5, 2025 at 4:43 AM
[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff
December 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
December 4, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Got kicked out of the death cult for bedazzling my cloak
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
December 2, 2025 at 8:24 PM
There is a fifth wave of ska, beyond that which is known to rude boys
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Bluesky Wrapped and it's how many times your own joke was explained to you
December 4, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Bluesky Wrapped and it's how many times your own joke was explained to you
We all got that one homie who unleashes a swarm of evils upon the world
December 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
We all got that one homie who unleashes a swarm of evils upon the world
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
does anyone else notice the giant lady doesnt cut up your hot dogs anymore!?
Because you're an adult you fucking muppet. You gotta pay the magic forward.
December 4, 2025 at 12:26 AM
does anyone else notice the giant lady doesnt cut up your hot dogs anymore!?
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
October 11, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Skeletons shouldn't play each other as instruments
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes a small man to squeeze through the dog door
December 2, 2025 at 4:15 PM
It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes a small man to squeeze through the dog door
Reposted by Viktor Winetrout
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle
December 4, 2025 at 6:42 AM
[making small talk with the sex robot afterward] can you juggle