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mr potato

@tweetpotato314.bsky.social

29K followers 340 following 1.9K posts

“trotting through life with occasional wins”

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 24d

gonna start using social media less and use the time saved to hit myself in the head with a shovel

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2h

just a smol bean please don’t plant me i’m not meant to grow

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

any tips on how to increase coworkers’ comprehension??? i’m already typing these e-mails as slow as i can

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

harassment on the streets of birminghammmmm

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

any hole you can put your dick in is glorious that one shouldn’t get a special name

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

mini game where you use a whac-a-mole hammer to defend yourself at the glory hole

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

blooper reel where the boss character gets their dick caught in a zipper

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 1d

harassment in the workplace (director’s cut)

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 2d

you eating a donut would prove that billy™️ is a brand i could trust and i would be much more likely to recommend to a friend or family

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 3d

oedipus: do u have to keep saying that

samuel l jackson: saying what

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 6d

i never do anything unless i’m at least somewhere spooky adjacent

Reposted by mr potato

James @james.tarnation.lol · 6d

whatever you do, don’t take candy from strangers unless it’s kinda spooky outside

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 6d

this is the kind of shirt with air brushed lettering i want to buy from a vendor by a beach

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Reposted by mr potato

ceej @ceej.online · Jul 26

I am never logging off

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 6d

no, actually i’m allowed to stare at the sun today the government shut down

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 7d

no, i am in the parking lot

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 7d

i’ll save you a spot

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 7d

[after reading exactly one work email] i am going to go lie face down in the parking lot

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Reposted by mr potato

🎃return of the Obra Deeny🎃(they/them) @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 7d

Commissions are open for late October delivery

Love you all

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 7d

sheet music is like the exact opposite of an audio book

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

danke

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 11d

lol

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 12d

i’m bald, check ur privilege

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 12d

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

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mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 14d

i can’t eat at a time like this

mr potato @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 14d

didn’t get raptured just another thing everyone else is doing without me

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