alexis simpson
@amutepiggy.bsky.social
i'll take your money, but i'm not gonna plow your driveway
SAG-AFTRA ✊ she/her sobriety date 5/8/2006
if u make a link to your own posts in bio, does it get clicked on? https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:opytet572euebuzzufm4inyf/feed/aaafh4abgv5o4
SAG-AFTRA ✊ she/her sobriety date 5/8/2006
if u make a link to your own posts in bio, does it get clicked on? https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:opytet572euebuzzufm4inyf/feed/aaafh4abgv5o4
Pinned
alexis simpson
@amutepiggy.bsky.social
· Nov 21
reskeet if you think @mcuban.bsky.social should give @dumb.baby one million dollars
Reposted by alexis simpson
staring forlornly out of a window, wondering when my serotonin will return from the war, but knowing in my heart that I will never see it again
December 5, 2025 at 3:28 PM
staring forlornly out of a window, wondering when my serotonin will return from the war, but knowing in my heart that I will never see it again
Reposted by alexis simpson
Reposted by alexis simpson
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
I'm hoping someday you might find
December 5, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
I'm hoping someday you might find
Reposted by alexis simpson
Great Moments in Immigration Enforcement
"I asked them if they had a judicial warrant. They said they didn't need one. I said yes you do."
Employees then captured video of agents leaving and turning the wrong way on a one way street.
youtu.be/C9t9HE9vmX0?...
"I asked them if they had a judicial warrant. They said they didn't need one. I said yes you do."
Employees then captured video of agents leaving and turning the wrong way on a one way street.
youtu.be/C9t9HE9vmX0?...
South Minneapolis restaurant says ICE entered without warrant, staff push back
ICE's presence is keeping many on edge, including one Minneapolis restaurant, which says it had its first ICE encounter since opening more than a decade ago.
youtu.be
December 5, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Great Moments in Immigration Enforcement
"I asked them if they had a judicial warrant. They said they didn't need one. I said yes you do."
Employees then captured video of agents leaving and turning the wrong way on a one way street.
youtu.be/C9t9HE9vmX0?...
"I asked them if they had a judicial warrant. They said they didn't need one. I said yes you do."
Employees then captured video of agents leaving and turning the wrong way on a one way street.
youtu.be/C9t9HE9vmX0?...
Reposted by alexis simpson
now with 30% more mothman
December 5, 2025 at 7:05 AM
now with 30% more mothman
Reposted by alexis simpson
!["They've hired this [she laughs] I don't know what
to call Bari Weiss. I just don't know," she said before Maury Povich argued that it is yet to be known how her leadership will affect the brand.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cb6uhto6bwvcx4anaq55konv/bafkreidgzspubbtp6w3sa4yemnhiutem2bgywvxwwkvetf74trfvl4a77e@jpeg)
Reposted by alexis simpson
Pokemon go to T’Pols
December 5, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Pokemon go to T’Pols
Reposted by alexis simpson
Reposted by alexis simpson
multiverse travelers know to avoid Space Jam universes and to seek Whats Up Dog? universes
December 5, 2025 at 6:08 AM
multiverse travelers know to avoid Space Jam universes and to seek Whats Up Dog? universes
timeline probably split to the bad one when we did NOT make a 1990's sports movie where Charles Barkley voices a basketball playing dog
December 5, 2025 at 6:05 AM
timeline probably split to the bad one when we did NOT make a 1990's sports movie where Charles Barkley voices a basketball playing dog
Reposted by alexis simpson
look, I work with a guy who sounds EXACTLY like Chief Wiggum. Like, an award winning impression, except it’s real.
What am I supposed to do with this?
What am I supposed to do with this?
December 5, 2025 at 2:53 AM
look, I work with a guy who sounds EXACTLY like Chief Wiggum. Like, an award winning impression, except it’s real.
What am I supposed to do with this?
What am I supposed to do with this?
Reposted by alexis simpson
probably not the chili peppers' best album, but none of them are
December 5, 2025 at 6:01 AM
probably not the chili peppers' best album, but none of them are
Reposted by alexis simpson
hey there just continue being you
December 5, 2025 at 5:49 AM
hey there just continue being you
Reposted by alexis simpson
Have you ever known inner peace or eaten a golden brown grilled cheese sandwich
December 5, 2025 at 5:49 AM
Have you ever known inner peace or eaten a golden brown grilled cheese sandwich
Reposted by alexis simpson
HOMELESSNESS IS NOT A DRUG PROBLEM IT'S A HOUSING PROBLEM
I'm so sick of y'all in my mentions with this talking point, just stop.
PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD RENT. Half of renters are paying over 30% of their income on rent, another quarter are paying over 50%!!!
People need homes they can afford!
I'm so sick of y'all in my mentions with this talking point, just stop.
PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD RENT. Half of renters are paying over 30% of their income on rent, another quarter are paying over 50%!!!
People need homes they can afford!
December 5, 2025 at 5:24 AM
HOMELESSNESS IS NOT A DRUG PROBLEM IT'S A HOUSING PROBLEM
I'm so sick of y'all in my mentions with this talking point, just stop.
PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD RENT. Half of renters are paying over 30% of their income on rent, another quarter are paying over 50%!!!
People need homes they can afford!
I'm so sick of y'all in my mentions with this talking point, just stop.
PEOPLE CANNOT AFFORD RENT. Half of renters are paying over 30% of their income on rent, another quarter are paying over 50%!!!
People need homes they can afford!
oh you know it's begging for pets o'clock
December 5, 2025 at 5:41 AM
oh you know it's begging for pets o'clock
Reposted by alexis simpson
acknowledging good things is a lifesaving habit
nobody asked, but if you are feeling pissed or sad or freaked out all the time, one practical thing you can do is take a few minutes and *write down on paper* five things you're grateful form. then do it the next day. And the next. And so on
December 5, 2025 at 5:34 AM
acknowledging good things is a lifesaving habit
Reposted by alexis simpson
🥰 Caribbean Reef Octopus 🐙 Hand sculpted from clay and lovingly painted 🎨
#ArtAdventCalendar #ArtYear #Art #ArtGallery #Sculpture #Octopus #MarineLife #CoralReef #ArtSale #BSNM #Invertebrates 🦑🐡
#ArtAdventCalendar #ArtYear #Art #ArtGallery #Sculpture #Octopus #MarineLife #CoralReef #ArtSale #BSNM #Invertebrates 🦑🐡
December 5, 2025 at 1:00 AM
🥰 Caribbean Reef Octopus 🐙 Hand sculpted from clay and lovingly painted 🎨
#ArtAdventCalendar #ArtYear #Art #ArtGallery #Sculpture #Octopus #MarineLife #CoralReef #ArtSale #BSNM #Invertebrates 🦑🐡
#ArtAdventCalendar #ArtYear #Art #ArtGallery #Sculpture #Octopus #MarineLife #CoralReef #ArtSale #BSNM #Invertebrates 🦑🐡
nobody asked, but if you are feeling pissed or sad or freaked out all the time, one practical thing you can do is take a few minutes and *write down on paper* five things you're grateful form. then do it the next day. And the next. And so on
December 5, 2025 at 5:25 AM
nobody asked, but if you are feeling pissed or sad or freaked out all the time, one practical thing you can do is take a few minutes and *write down on paper* five things you're grateful form. then do it the next day. And the next. And so on
Reposted by alexis simpson
ufo disclosure and chill
December 5, 2025 at 5:07 AM
ufo disclosure and chill
it's December now I can post this and you can't yell at me
hes taking a shit
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
December 5, 2025 at 5:12 AM
it's December now I can post this and you can't yell at me
Reposted by alexis simpson
hes taking a shit
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
May 1, 2025 at 7:21 PM
hes taking a shit
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
flushing it twice
gonna regret
that he ate so much spice
santa claus
has
indigestion
pretty great that whenever President Racist takes one of his many embarrassing public naps, he is scowling like he can feel the demon's claw on his ashen heart dragging him to hell 🥰
December 5, 2025 at 5:08 AM
pretty great that whenever President Racist takes one of his many embarrassing public naps, he is scowling like he can feel the demon's claw on his ashen heart dragging him to hell 🥰
Reposted by alexis simpson
this is obviously going to be terrible but it might be the good kind of terrible
🚨 BREAKING - New Star Trek: #StarfleetAcademy Poster!
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
The first season of the new #StarTrek live-action series premieres January 15th on Paramount+
🖖 Will YOU be watching?
December 5, 2025 at 4:05 AM
this is obviously going to be terrible but it might be the good kind of terrible
Reposted by alexis simpson
oh you have a nice house? let’s see the churro drawer
December 2, 2025 at 9:19 PM
oh you have a nice house? let’s see the churro drawer